Nightmare neighbours

rose28454

We live in a small city in the south west in a house that has been in our family since 1930. It’s an ex council house although a lot of the other houses in our road are now private ( this is relevant to my post ) 
A lady lives 5 doors from us and she has 2 grown up daughters and lost her partner 2 years ago
as soon as he passed away the younger daughter reappeared on the scene with 6 children from teenagers down to a 2 year old. She lives with her partner in a nearby town but wants to be rehoused in our city so the grandmother has the smaller children living with her and all the children are registered at that address so go to school in our city. The partner is a scrap metal dealer and on the whole is reasonable but she is not . The children are allowed to roam free even the 2 year old is often out in the road.
a few months ago one of the teenagers damaged our fence with his scooter ( seemingly deliberately ) as we could see it in our cctv. We went to the grandmothers house and asked if the parents could pop down. The father came down and was very reasonable and said he could get the fence fixed said sorry and said the kids would have to pay. Our fence is colour fence metal and to repair the panel would be £300.00 although we didn’t know the price when he came. 

Few days later we saw the whole family outside looking at the damage and our camera. The mother was laughing. We did report it to the police but no action was taken but the police did say we should record it. 

Since then they have constantly nearly knocked us over with their bikes, given us a lot of lip which we have ignored. 

In the end decided to pay ourselves  and are waiting to have it done ( the contractors wife is very Ill. 

Last few days the harassment has escalated with abuse as my husband pulls out of the drive and in the supermarket car park one of them banged on our car as we drove out , made remarks about my husbands baldness and then one of the teenagers deliberately drove in front of us dangerously on the way out. 

My hubby just said to ignore them but it seems to be escalating and it’s beginning to affect his nerves and I can’t mention it. We have a new car and I’m now worried about damage. 

My idea would be to try and talk to the father on his own and reason with him. 

Any ideas anyone ?

rose28454

The grandmother lives in a council house that’s what’s relevant 

sweet160529

You can raise your concerns with the grandmothers landlord (council or housing association) as I'd imagine they will have a part in their tenancy about anti-social behaviour (I know I have in mine) but bare in mind this  could escalate matters with them. 

I'd personally for now keep a record/diary of incidents and see if it dies down and if not I'd go to the above.  

Jude57

There'll definitely be a clause in the grandmother's tenancy agreement relating to the behaviour of their guests or visitors and I agree you should report this antisocial behaviour to the landlord. You've tried the 'friendly reasonable chat' route and whether the father was fobbing you off or is unable to get his children to behave, it hasn't worked. 

If, at any time, you or your husband feel unsafe, you should call police on 999. If the antisocial behaviour is recorded on your doorbell, you should ring on the non-emergency number and ask to speak to your local 'Safer Neighbourhoods' officer, often a PCSO, who can then action as necessary. The information will be on your local Police website and the title may be different, but the remit is the same, tackling low-level antisocial behaviour before it escalates.

Keeping a detailed diary of events, plus footage from your doorbell is also a good idea. The Council/Housing Association may ask you to fill in their own diary documents but don't wait for that, start now. Also, be aware that if there's a lull in the behaviour, it's likely that the case will be closed and you'll have to start from scratch when the next incident occurs. You'll need to be persistent to get them to do more than send a letter but given that you seem to think they are deliberately overcrowding, it's possible the landlord may do more than that.

If and only if, you believe that any of the children are neglected or at risk, report it to Social Services or, in an emergency, to police who will deal with it. I'm sure you wouldn't do this unless you were legitimately concerned.

Hopefully once the children are back at school, they'll have other things to occupy them and will leave you alone.

macman

Just bear in mind that any formal complaint will need to be declared if you decide to move in future.

400ixl

macman said:

Just bear in mind that any formal complaint will need to be declared if you decide to move in future.

It doesn't have to be formal to need to be declared. It has already reached that point by the sounds of it. However suffering in silence for the off chance of moving doesn't make sense.

rose28454

I happened to see 2 Policemen yesterday cycling by and asked for a word. They knew exactly who I was talking about and said we should not engage with them verbally or physically basically because they are minors. 

I told them we have Cctv and they advised getting a dashcam and if we get more trouble to try to record it and if it gets out of hand call 999. They basically said you can’t win. I am however going to speak to the company who own the property. 

pickledonionspaceraider

This will not be a popular train of thought, but I will say anyway.

I have seen this play out time and time again

I would move. 

Yes I know it is your home, and the indignant part of me feels like 'why should you?' .....The problem is that this will consume your day to day lives,  and it will be over a long period of time ie years....and yes things are escalating 

The policeman was right - you can't win. You will pay a huge price to not win

  It is heart breaking, I know.  But my best advice is to cut your loses and save your sanity. 

Life is too short to spend the next few years in a war you don't want, and probably won't win

I would have my house on the market pronto - I would not let these people live rent free in my head

You only get one shot at this life - and sometimes being right, isn't what is important, sometimes it is just cutting loses and living peacefully

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

elsien

rose28454 said:

I happened to see 2 Policemen yesterday cycling by and asked for a word. They knew exactly who I was talking about and said we should not engage with them verbally or physically basically because they are minors. 

I told them we have Cctv and they advised getting a dashcam and if we get more trouble to try to record it and if it gets out of hand call 999. They basically said you can’t win. I am however going to speak to the company who own the property. 

Phone 111 every time anything happens which is verging on harassment and get a reference. If any neighbours are also being targetted then see if they will do the same. The police won't do anything about it but it logs the incidents and builds the bigger picture.  That way you are building up your evidence, as well has having your dashcam etc.  Just because you have been advised not to engage with them because they are minors doesn't mean that no-one else should be addressing it. If it's a council property then contact your local councillor and see what they can do around anti-social behaviour from a council property if it is incidents that you can evidence. 

Langerhan

elsien said:

rose28454 said:

I happened to see 2 Policemen yesterday cycling by and asked for a word. They knew exactly who I was talking about and said we should not engage with them verbally or physically basically because they are minors. 

I told them we have Cctv and they advised getting a dashcam and if we get more trouble to try to record it and if it gets out of hand call 999. They basically said you can’t win. I am however going to speak to the company who own the property. 

Phone 111 every time anything happens which is verging on harassment and get a reference. If any neighbours are also being targetted then see if they will do the same. The police won't do anything about it but it logs the incidents and builds the bigger picture.  That way you are building up your evidence, as well has having your dashcam etc.  Just because you have been advised not to engage with them because they are minors doesn't mean that no-one else should be addressing it. If it's a council property then contact your local councillor and see what they can do around anti-social behaviour from a council property if it is incidents that you can evidence. 

111 is NHS Direct. The emergency police number is 101. Otherwise, totally agreed - it's about building a picture in case you need it in the future.

If you feel like the police are fobbing you off, it might also be worth talking to your local councillor to see what they'd advise.

TripleH

This is what I hate most, you have someone who makes everyone's lives heck, but yet everyone else has to spend time documenting their misdemeanours and suffering before anyone takes action whilst they almost have carte blanc do do what they like.

Having said that, I do understand the big picture as it is to avoid penalising someone from others making up lies about them because they are the wrong colour / religion / have a funny name etc but otherwise are a quiet courteous individual