Next of Kin when estranged from family

VA2020

Hi all,

I have been estranged from my mum for 12 years, since a teenager and I am beginning to think of many aspects of this as an adult, specifically around ‘next of kin’ and any legalities around this. 

I have recently started to put a will in place but no LPA yet etc. 

I cohabit with a partner which I have for a number of years but in terms of if I was to fall unwell, or if decisions had to be made does this automatically fall back to PR? I’m unsure how it works with adult services. I’m concerned as my mum ‘lacks capacity’ whether this is evidenced I am unsure but she has issues with substances. 

Do adults have a legal ‘next of kin’ in a hospital situation or finances if ever needed or does this come down to whom is viewed as ‘closest’? 

Eg with work, my next of kin is my sister and partner on paperwork as my choice.

I do not have finances in place for all of this currently (to draw up separate official paperwork) in terms of financial and medical decisions.

is there anything else this could impact? In terms of decision making. Any advice/guidance appreciated 

Many thanks!  

Torry_Quine

Next of kin has no legal meaning. You can name whoever you want for hospital. It's just a point of contact for them. A partner is fine.

VA2020

Torry_Quine said:

Next of kin has no legal meaning. You can name whoever you want for hospital. It's just a point of contact for them. A partner is fine.

Thank you! What about in a situation where you lacked capacity and decisions had to be made on your behalf there and then 

Browntoa

That's what the LPA is for , your nominated person ( or persons) can act on your behalf after showing the LPA 

RAS

Your will is probably more important at the moment; without it mum inherits everything assuming you are in England or Wales.

Look out for the Free Will's month which happens shortly.

I'd be inclined to write a letter explaining the above and to leave copies with your sister and partner, making explicit that you do not want your mother involved in decisions if you lose capacity.

And then start saving the £82 needed for each of the LPAs (health and finances). How long would that take?

VA2020

RAS said:

Your will is probably more important at the moment; without it mum inherits everything assuming you are in England or Wales.

Look out for the Free Will's month which happens shortly.

I'd be inclined to write a letter explaining the above and to leave copies with your sister and partner, making explicit that you do not want your mother involved in decisions if you lose capacity.

And then start saving the £82 needed for each of the LPAs (health and finances). How long would that take?

Thank you. 

I wrote my will through a solicitor on the basis of complicating factors with the will and it was suggested I write a letter alongside which I am drafting to explain things as I was recently an executor on my grandads estate (mums side) and she appeared out of the woodwork, and it become very challenging and difficult. 

I was also told LPAs we’re £300 each via co-op, maybe I need to do some more research into that as I could afford £82 soon. Thank you, that’s helpful! 

RAS

You don't need to get anyone else to do LPAs. You can of course pay three or 4 times the fee cost to get them done "professionally".

Best option is probably to download the forms now and start putting together the information that you need. Lasting power of attorney forms - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) for free.

You can use those or do it on-line later if you wish.

Remember that mum doesn't have to be on the list of people to be informed under the current rules. 

VA2020

RAS said:

You don't need to get anyone else to do LPAs. You can of course pay three or 4 times the fee cost to get them done "professionally".

Best option is probably to download the forms now and start putting together the information that you need. Lasting power of attorney forms - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) for free.

You can use those or do it on-line later if you wish.

Remember that mum doesn't have to be on the list of people to be informed under the current rules. 

That’s great. Nope LPA is fine just done online :-) 

you’ve been really helpful, thank you. I’ll get onto that. 

Torry_Quine

VA2020 said:

Torry_Quine said:

Next of kin has no legal meaning. You can name whoever you want for hospital. It's just a point of contact for them. A partner is fine.

Thank you! What about in a situation where you lacked capacity and decisions had to be made on your behalf there and then 

In that situation then they would if time allowed contact whoever you had as next of kin on your notes. However they can act in what is deemed as your best interests without reference to anyone if an emergency situation. 

Brie

If it's just a "Next of Kin" for something like who should your employer call if you fell ill at work then it would be anyone you want to name.  I've lots of colleagues who are from various countries and they have a friend named rather than a family member as those are too far away.  So a house mate or a friend they met 8 years back when on a ESL course or something.  That friend then knows who to contact in the family if necessary or will arrange for the ride home from the hospital or whatever. 

Wills are particularly important if you are cohabiting rather than being married or otherwise legally joined.  Potentially your partner should inherit but without the paperwork in place would be excluded.

Likewise if you were in hospital incapacitated (accident etc) they may have no right to visit you or help make decisions for you.  That's why LPAs are important.  MiL has a will which means my OH will inherit from her but there is no LPAs and it's too late to put something in place.  Social workers, hospital medicos and potentially the court of protection get to make choices for her rather than her family. 

Mojisola

The Royal Free hospital have this advice -

https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/files.royalfree.nhs.uk/next_of_kin002.pdf

You could print off several cards and keep them in your bag/car/etc so that one is likely to be found in an emergency.

You can also ask for your partner to be put on your GP records as your NOK.