Money Moral Dilemma: Should someone who earns a decent wage use food banks?

Danien

Unfortunately my cousin is stubborn and proud, I help the best I can, but part of the problem is not wanting to be seen as a person who needs help - what if someone she knows sees her at the food bank - then everyone will know her situation and judge her badly.

I agree that our situation is better than in some countries. But the reality is that the benefit system hasn't kept up with cost of living for quite a while. I am proud that in this country we try to help those less fortunate and that we have free healthcare, but I also think that if you're going to have a safety net then it should at least cover the absolute essentials.

Otherwise it's like stopping at an accident when 5 people have driven past, and when challenged as to why you didn't put pressure on a wound and let the person die of blood loss, you say, 'well at least I stopped' the others didn't even stop. Not the best analogy, but hopefully you get the point. If you give a person enough money that they at least have a roof over their head and bills paid, but they starve to death as there is no money left - it doesn’t really matter what you did.

Unfortunately benefits and needing help from food banks has become a moral issue, rather than being about the safety net. The media and social media is awash with propaganda about claimants and food bank users and people believe it. Empathy and understanding is eroding, with people believing that being able to work, or not being unemployed is a symbol of superiority, rather than in most cases being a matter of circumstance. 

jacquifef

OP: It sounds like she shouldn’t need to use a food bank. In that case maybe you need to point her to somewhere she can get some help. 2 great options are CAP (who will help you learn to manage finances and get out of debt) and Dave Ramsey (if you want to try to do it alone and don’t mind it being American). If you can really get on a proper budget it is (as Dave says) like getting a raise (assuming you don’t have such severe income issues as Danien’s cousin). Using a zero-based budget changed my life. I believe YNAB is an app/website that will help do a zero-based budget if you don’t want to do it on paper.

This all assumes you have a relationship with this lady which will enable you to suggest help without being rude. If you have tried these things yourself you could rave about them and how much it has improved your life so that she would be interested to ask about it.

Mandylorian

I agree some are abusing the goodwill of others, that's what politicians will focus on when they say there isn't a cost of living problem, so the truly in need suffer because of the negative food bank stories where people are not managing their finances and cutting back on luxuries because let's face it, those are rarely given away! There will always be unscrupulous people rocking up to food banks with fancy cars, full TV packages, new phones and expensive clothes and make-up. I will only give to schemes that are properly run and donations only go to those who pass a criteria

boneofo

I'm not sure why those of pensionable age with guaranteed £200 per week income use food banks or soup kitchens. This is an anomaly that is shown on BBC tv news regularly without it being specifically called out.

artofwalking

Don't be judgmental. Even someone with a good wage can be in serious debt or supporting a close relative in financial difficulties. You need to take a holistic view and assess the circumstances. 

Ringo90

tain said:

Ringo90 said:

I am very surprised by some comments in this thread who say "Just turn your head the other side" or even "People who can't manage their finances still need to eat". Really? All this time I thought the food we donate to the food banks go to the people who LITERALLY can't afford the basic necessities, such as the homeless, the war refugees etc. It makes me sick to see so many people justifying someone who makes "above average" wages (that means £40k per year or above?) but prefers to buy useless things and then STEAL the necessities.
They should get another kind of help, not turn to food banks. It might sound cruel to you because yeah, of course they still need to eat, but maybe if there is something that can teach them to manage their money is to learn that when they waste it, they won't get dinner! Leave food banks to people who don't have this choice at all.

Next time you donate anything, make sure you add an accompanying letter saying your donation comes with conditions. They may even invite you down to the food bank so you can scrutinise everyone's finances before the 50p tin of beans is handed over. 

Where did I say that I'm not going to donate unless they follow my conditions? I have just said that I EXPECT these resources to be used as really needed but it is not up to me to check.

What you may see as splurging on unnecessary things, treating yourself instead of paying bills, etc. could actually be someone with a crippling inability to structure their finances, mountains of debt, deficient working memory so bills are forgotten, and very little control over impulses. Usually accompanied by depression from the guilt and regret, and a society who think they're bad people. 

These are rather specific circumstances, and I'm going to assume if that was the case of the OP's friend, this post wouldn't even exist. However, as I said in my previous post, the people you describe "should get another kind of help" and I stand by that. If there is a health condition that prevents you from managing your finances efficiently, certainly the solution is not getting additional money from charities or robbing the food bank. You have to get the help that is specific to your condition and solve the problem at the root.

nczm

MSE_Sarah said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Someone I know is on above average wages, but doesn't manage her finances very well. She's now going to a food bank to top up her weekly shopping, instead of sorting her finances out or cutting back. Should I tell her she's being selfish by potentially denying people in greater need than her, or am I judging her too harshly?

If you want to be helpful, find your local financial hardship charity and point them towards the food bank. There are some really effective partnerships helping people to get the most from their money - even if you don’t help your acquaintance you might help someone else. Whilst it’s frustrating, there are no “rules” around who can or should use a food bank.

Thomas_Holding

nczm said:

MSE_Sarah said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Someone I know is on above average wages, but doesn't manage her finances very well. She's now going to a food bank to top up her weekly shopping, instead of sorting her finances out or cutting back. Should I tell her she's being selfish by potentially denying people in greater need than her, or am I judging her too harshly?

If you want to be helpful, find your local financial hardship charity and point them towards the food bank. There are some really effective partnerships helping people to get the most from their money - even if you don’t help your acquaintance you might help someone else. Whilst it’s frustrating, there are no “rules” around who can or should use a food bank.

Good idea christians against poverty could be helpful.

GaleSF63

Like any other system to help those who need help, it will encompass those who don't need but cheat, and those who wouldn't need it if they managed better. But foodbanks feel more personal because people are giving directly, goods or money, whereas the govt welfare systems are impersonal through taxation, even though some of  the taxes come from the same people.

Zobee

I run a Foodbank and our first step is always not to judge. Foodbank users are rarely there simply because they are unable to budget and if that is the case they will have us and other agencies working with them. There is likely a number of reasons this person is going to a Foodbank and as others point out you can't attend without a referral agency. There are also many community larders available that do not ask for any information about an individual so the dilemma then becomes are people accessing further support. In no circumstance, ever, have I come across a Foodbank user who wants to be there. It is often the most distressing thing they have had to do after a very long list in a downturn of circumstances. Please don't judge and remember often people are one paycheque away from food poverty and 3 away from homelessness. We will offer help and support to anyone who seeks it.