Starting afresh in paradise

Viking_mfw

Good news about the iron supplement making such a difference.  

Is there a 'borrow my doggy' (I think that's what it's called) near you? Might be good for building confidence in parks and the like, particularly if it gives you something to focus on?

Bargainhunter30

I would suggest contacting local clubs. I was nervous joining my local running club, but actually there are people of all ages and abilities and they tailor sessions for everyone.

ManekiNeko

Thanks Viking. I actually did get into Borrow my Doggy last year, but it didn't really work out as the dog, while very active, was pretty reactive and I spent more time on training than actually exploring  .. I'll have a ponder. It would be nice to go with a dog, to be fair that was actually my original motivation for signing up (aside from loving to spend time with dogs).

Thanks Hunter, I had a go last year but my local club weren't doing beginner sessions at that time, and the club in a nearby village were doing Couch to 5k - but most of the runners were clearly not at the "Couch" stage, unlike me! It's a good point though, perhaps my local one have started again (they only stopped due to Covid-19). Someone also told me recently I might be able to get a lower-cost gym/swim membership because of being on benefits. I don't know if I can afford it, but it might help me train up to join the club, so I could think about it even for six months over the winter or something.

I've certainly got lots to think about fitness wise

In other news, I got to halfway on the baby blanket today for my dear niece, so I'm pretty happy about that, although still feeling a bit behind considering I ideally want to move my stuff out of my mother's house in the next 3-4 weeks (and the blanket needs to be done by the time I do). However, much less happy to discover that overnight, my mobile phone seems to have lost the ability to charge at all! Not good. I'm taking it to have its battery replaced on Tuesday, but it's the worst timing as I was just about to buy a new one (knowing it was on its last legs). So it's £40 for a battery that I hope will get it back on for long enough to take my data off of it. Still to decide on a new phone, so lots of online research to do.

On top of which, still got to buy what feels like a million things in the next couple of months ... currently looking at microwaves online (so I can swap my evening meals to my new place, meaning I can shop in Aldi so I'll save money). It's all feeling pretty expensive right now. One good thing is that I opened up a new bank account yesterday, which gives 1 per cent cashback for the first year on debit card spending. So that'll make it much easier to keep on top of where I am with my money, as I've been finding it harder to keep on top of my CC spending (probably just too stressed but yeah). I also downloaded a couple of spending diary apps to test out, and was feeling almost prepared until my phone went. Am now waiting to receive various bits of money this week, and then I can work out where I am now and hopefully make a bit of a plan/budget for what's coming up. I feel like I've over-spent this month without meaning to, and I'm not even surprised given how much furniture and white goods I've bought and how much of a rush the past fortnight has been. My feet haven't touched the floor.

I'm a bit flat today and feeling pretty stressed to boot, because half my things are at the MH house, and half at the new place. It seems that no matter where I am, whatever I need is in the other place ... hence why I only have shorts to wear despite it raining today. I picked up a ready meal on my way home, then belatedly realised all my forks are at the new place, as are the disposable forks I picked up to tide me over in the MH house. So now I'm deciding between walking over in my shorts in the rain vs. having a strange dinner of junk food. I was going to spend most of this week cleaning and tidying at my new place (as best I can with limited furniture to put things away into), to make it feel calm and liveable, but it looks like I'm probably going to have to buy things online instead like a phone. My OCD makes it quite hard to choose what to buy sometimes, so it's a mammoth task for me, and not knowing if my data is safe on my old phone is also a massive stress. I rely utterly on my tech to run my life and there's a huge amount of very personal stuff on there. I don't even know if the phone shop can see any of that - I have to drop my phone off for about two hours, apparently. I've taken the SD card out, and for now at least my SIM is in an old handset that thankfully still works (though I ought to have sold it really and still plan to), but yeah.

Looking on the bright side though, at least I can afford to buy furniture and white goods (even if it's a bit of a push), whereas if I'd moved in right away, I'd not have been able to get nearly as much as I've been able to, and would have been 'camping' there for ages until I could save up enough to do it. So I am counting my blessings and I will work out the other challenges bit by bit. Eventually.

Right well, time to go retrieve my forks I guess .. wish me luck lol

Merlin's_Beard

I did a Couch to 5k group and it was really good - there were a few people that were more 5k than couch, but everyone was generally supportive of everyone.

It's madly infuriating how expensive moving house is in terms of the stupid things like the number of ready meals because you're not permanent in one place! It will definitely be easier once you are in one place and you can plan.

ManekiNeko

Thanks Merlin, that's great to hear. I think I just had bad luck with the one I tried then as the only place they took us to train was up and down a hill, which added to the difficulty, and I was permanently last place of everyone and 20' behind the group. Bearing in mind I can happily walk 6 miles so I'm not totally 'couch' either, just not used to the extra demands from running as it's been a little more than a decade since I was running regularly.

Yes, totally agree, it's amazing how many little things you suddenly end up buying when you're moving. I'm feeling the same way about furniture and possessions too, you don't really realise how much stuff you have until you walk away and start over, and then you realise you don't even have a pizza tray to cook something easy, or you don't have any tools because you left them with your ex. And it would be fine, but it all takes time and effort to buy, and it all costs money.

Speaking of, I've tried to jump onto my internet banking this morning to see if my UC arrived, but I can't get in as I have to verify my login with the phone app. I could download all my apps again onto my temporary handset, but considering it's getting fixed tomorrow, I'm not sure it's worth the effort .. I'll probably just call the bank instead. I'm also feeling somewhat anxious because my relative hasn't sent the money for the white goods yet .. and they've probably just been busy, but because of our past, part of me is worried they've decided not to, even though they've never let me down with money before, other people who've been abusive have, so it's on the back of my mind.

Been dealing with MH house issues since I woke up and it's stressed me out, so it's time to shake that off and try to organise my budget. I'll probably then have a tidy up here, as considering I've made a complaint I'd like to be totally above blame if they decided to do a spot inspection of my room - and I'd also like to have any personal paperwork neatly hidden away from casual view at least. I've moved most of my current paperwork already, just in case, and maybe I can move the rest (a few boxes of unsorted "misc" from long in the past) when my DP can next help me with the car later this week. It all needs unpacking from the world's frailest cardboard boxes into plastic bags to be moved across, but I'll take the boxes and pop the papers back in at the other end, because it'll look a bit better visually until I have time to file it etc. One day once I've settled in, I'd like to spend time on my paperwork and finally get it all sorted out. I'm really hoping my life will finally be settled enough to have the time for this.

After cleaning, later on I've got a blood test at the doctor's (to double check the iron is doing what it should) and will then head over to my new place .. there's about a million things I ought to do there, so I guess I'll see what I'm feeling up to by then. I woke up feeling fine but already memories and feelings seem to be crowding in and sapping my energy.

catclaires

Hello,

Just popping in with a few random thoughts in response to your musings about running/exercise:

• I'd echo those above who say to look for local clubs, especially those that may be running the Couch to 5k. It may or may not help to know this, but even if you are often the last person (someone has to be!) and others are waiting for you, I absolutely guarantee that at least some of those others are thinking 'phew, I'm so grateful to be getting a little break here' and people will not be in the slightest bit bothered!
• If you can get a cheap gym membership, you could try the Couch to 5k using a phone app and the treadmill to build up some confidence. When I first started running, I felt self-conscious running outside and ran almost exclusively on the treadmill, but after I was used to that, I found I no longer cared/felt weird about going outside
• You mentioned a lovely park near where you live. I don't suppose there's a parkrun there - or is there one anywhere else nearby? I think parkruns are a really excellent way to get to run with others (so that you don't have to worry about being out on your own) but also run or walk at totally your own pace, especially if you are wanting to build up your running stamina - you can really go for it or take it easy depending on how you're feeling, but there is absolutely no time pressure at all. There is always a huge range of paces including loads of people who walk/run and others who walk the whole thing, and there is also always a volunteer 'tail walker' who will stay with the last person so that no one is left on their own. There's always a very positive atmosphere there, and they tend to be friendly events if you're in the mood to chat, so you may even meet some like-minded people. Plus they are free! (If you don't know about them, they are 5k events - not 'races' - taking place all over the country at 9am on Saturday mornings - you just need to register on the parkrun website once, when you will be given a personal bar code to be 'scanned' and receive your time at the end, and then you can turn up at any one you want any time without registering or signing up again!) 

Good luck with everything - despite the various stresses, you're doing fantastically, and it will all be worth it in the end once you've bought everything you need and finally got settled!

ManekiNeko

Thanks Cat, that's all really useful and helpful to hear!😊I hadn't thought that people might be grateful for a slower pace and a bit of a breather lol. That's encouraging to think about!

Good point re building up at first in the gym and then swapping to the club for a Couch to 5k. I think this sounds like a good way forwards tbf, and I'm going to look into it once I've finished with the move. Hopefully it'll help me get fit at my own pace 💪 vs. around others, as I can easily push myself too hard in a fast group and get to the point the world is swimming, but in a big group I somehow just carry on vs. having a breather. Actually, you've reminded me I was meaning to check in with my doctor about this - just to make sure it's nothing bad - so I'll make a note to do that.

Sadly no parkrun in my town right now, but there's one nearby ish by car if I got to know someone and could get a lift.. I'll have to talk to them about registering under a fake name or something for a barcode though, as they tend to publish stuff online and I don't want to be searchable in case my ex ever takes an interest. But, I've done a few, admittedly a long time back, and really enjoyed the atmosphere so this could be a low pressure way to get back into a routine with it.

Merlin's_Beard

Parkrun don't ask for any confirmation of name so you can put anything you like in there.

Just FYI sometimes there will be photographers taking promo photos at some parkruns, but they're all good at not taking (or publishing) photos of you if you just give them a "no" sort of gesture.

LadyWithAPlan

Well done with being so strong and getting all these stressful things done, you are doing amazing 
Annoying about your fridge - hope you get a nice OP

on the savings at 1.71 v mortgage OP 1.65 
as long as you do have enough of a EF to feel secure then the 0.06 % difference for me on savings is not enough vs the optimism you get from getting your mortgage balance down. The quicker you pay it into the mortgage it will come off principal so even a 13p OP is 13p you will never pay interest on again so the quicker you pay it in the better. 
Not sure if you have limits on your op in terms of size etc but I do Tilly tidys daily so rounding my bank balance down to the nearest pound each day  and shifting the pence to my house deposit funds 
it is really motivating to think every day I am saving a little bit more or in your case paying off your mortgage principal 

ManekiNeko

Thanks Merlin, that's great to know! I feel reassured about going now.

Thanks for stopping by Lady with a Plan, and for your kind words! I do see your point about overpaying vs. saving up 🤔 food for thought. At the moment I don't know whether I'm going to have an emergency fund by the time I actually move in, and it's a good point that having the savings might be a good idea until I can rebuild an EF.

I have a sneaking suspicion I won't have that much to speak of. Because I was originally saving a lot of money by staying in the MH house, and as I continued to do so in July even after buying my apartment, I had assumed I would still be saving money in August. However, having started to do a proper budget for the first time in many months (thanks to ridiculous levels of stress/busy), I can see that's no longer the case. Basically, I'm paying most of the bills in my new place now (I wasn't in July because a lot had vacant property exemptions on them, which is why that month was different), as well as paying just shy of £50 rent topup a month to stay in the MH house, so the only money I've got to spend is the money I'm not putting into my savings pots as planned, plus a couple of bills I'm not yet paying (no point on contents ins when there's nothing valuable there, and obviously the gas is off). But everything else is up and running now, except the water which is about to be (they're calling me this afternoon to sort out a tariff that's suitable for people on benefits).

I definitely spent a ton more than I received in August, which is hardly surprising given I bought an apartment's worth of furniture as well as white goods. Given the help I received though, I got it done for way below what that should have cost me, so I can't really begrudge the spend, and it was necessary as the boiler people won't come until it's furnished and looks lived in. On that note, I'm waiting on the washing machine which comes tomorrow, and the rest of the furniture which comes on Tuesday morning. My plan (assuming I can get the couch through the main front door successfully, which might take some doing judging by the fridge!) is to call the boiler people on Tuesday afternoon, on the basis that by the time the installers actually come out I should have managed to clean / assemble the furniture and unpack into it to a 'good enough' extent. It won't be the finished product that I'll live in, as I've still got to get my desk and armchair from my relative's house, but it should be good enough to look like someone lives there.

My mother sent me the money for the white goods yesterday (a relief) and I used this and some savings to pay off my CCs yesterday. I'm super excited about my new appliances and really pleased I could get ones that I think will last a long time, vs. just the cheapest ones out there that would probably break down sooner. My new fridge is actually silent, unlike the donated one I've had in the MH house (it was literally gurgling at me the other night). I want to entirely swap my spending to my new cashback debit card, but instead, I'll continue to spend on one CC for about the next week (as I'm about £80 of spending away from getting my £10 Amazon voucher reward, which will be my last one ever, as they're switching to pay only 0.25 per cent cashback after that, rather than giving vouchers). After that, I'll pay it off again and then it'll be debit card spending only for the next year until the cashback offer runs out, as I've been finding it a bit confusing to keep track of how much money I have when using the CCs, and I think that's the main reason I've been feeling like I've overspent by accident.

Basically, I'm feeling I'm running a bit low on savings and I've still got a few big things to pay for - a new phone, changing the locks and movers to get the stuff from my relative's house. There's also some smaller stuff like a microwave, blender, slow cooker etc. I did phone the CAB this morning about a grant for white goods, and they said it would be up to the grant provider's discretion whether they would offer a grant towards smaller appliances, or not. They've said it's best to just apply anyway and explain my circumstances. The thing about the grant is that it's only provided when you literally don't have a penny to your name, so in my case I'd need to spend out on the bigger expenses I have first (like changing the locks) and see how much money I have left over, if any. So I don't know if I'll end up applying yet, we'll see.

My DP has very kindly offered to lend me money if I need it to get me moved, which is very kind although I'd prefer to avoid this if I can. I've said I'm not sure at the moment because I haven't finished my budget (partly because it's quite hard without my usual phone, it's taken two days to get into one bank account on my old handset lol). We've also talked a bit about whether I might go and stay with him (e.g. move completely out of the MH house) while I'm waiting for my boiler to be installed. This could be a good thing, in that if I was staying with him I could accept the surgery if I'm offered it, provided that I'd moved all my stuff a) out of the MH house and b) out of my relative's house. So, movers are certainly a priority, but also so is changing my locks, as I wouldn't otherwise be comfortable. Along with a phone (and about a million other things haha), I guess those are my priorities for September.

Well, it's time to call my WiFi provider and sort a few things out - going to try for compensation as they carried out two credit checks in July, despite saying they'd only do one. Such an exciting life I lead these days lol.