My journey to health, wealth (well, saving for works to house, so not really!) and hobbies

[Deleted User]

Hey guys.  Gah.  So it has just been illness after illness after illness.  All kicked off with DC2 having that temp and having to go to A&E - he was basically in and out of GP's and on-call paediatricians for about 3 weeks with a recurrent fever.  Eventually diagnosed as an ear infection and given antibiotics but they didn't work so back again for stronger ones.  Which seemed to work.  But meant sleepless nights, time off work to look after him as not allowed in nursery etc.

Then I was supposed to be away for work but DH got covid and I had to cancel trip - both DC not allowed to nursery and so more time off and actually I was feeling awful too but testing negative.  Tested positive sat morning and feeling absolutely shocking but obvs still having to look after the DC.

So spending/eating healthy and writing have somewhat gone out of the window.  Going to try to recover this week then start again next week!

Can't remember if said but architects came back - we liked their designs in the main but just found they hadn't listened to us and had made the kitchen area tiny when we wanted the focus to be on the kitchen.  We were quite down for a while over it as we couldn't see the solution but have found it now and gone back to them - just hoping they don't charge us further as we have already paid them almost 5k (that part was 1658) for the measured survey and concept designs.

[Deleted User]

Been MIA for a while.  MORE illness.  Culminating with a vomiting bug this weekend just gone which really was the icing on the cake.  I had made a docs appointment for monday before that due to feeling awful/not myself for ages, but I went in on monday and just broke down.  Anyway, she signed me off for 2 weeks with depression/burnout and put me on anti-depressants again, which I have actually started taking this time (day 3 today as couldn't take monday due to a query I needed to raise with them over the phone).

Starting to feel a bit better after rest and sleep though have both kids on own today so no rest (though DH has taken afternoon off to help).  DH is pushing me to "do things" over this 2 week break but I just want to rest, sleep, watch tv, interspersed with the odd chores (laundry etc) required to keep the house going.

I do wonder if realistically I need another week (or 2) off after this time - I feel like I keep trying to work when exhausted/poorly or going back too quickly after I have been off before (i.e. covid) but also conscious there is a recession looming and don't want to/can't lose my job so may even go back early.

Spending wise we have been doing ok so far this month.  We might even come in under the (very) reduced budget I set this month though we do have plumber coming tomorrow to look at CH before winter so possibly not.  But we have just harvested a HUGE crop of potatoes from the garden with squash, apples, blackberries, pears, plums etc all still to come so hoping we will have some good stores throughout the winter and can plan meals around those to save money.

Chrystal

Sorry to hear things have been so rough.  Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to  work too soon?  You won't be 100% so unlikely to be giving of your best, and with the chance of having to take further sick leave, which is unlikely to stand you in good stead. I'd have thought it was better to take longer to recover properly (including the further 2 weeks) and go back refreshed and raring to go.

It sounds as though DH doesn't really appreciate how poorly you feel.. having pressure put on you to 'do things' feeling the way you do certainly is unlikely to help you recover.  Is it possible that he takes the children out for a few days himself and allows you time to just rest?

Hopefully the antidepressants will kick in soon, although I know it can take a few weeks to feel the benefit.  XXXX

[Deleted User]

Thanks Chrystal.  I think you're probably right re recovery.  I am supposed to see doctor again friday next week so will see what she says re going back.  I am feeling a little better having rested this week though the DC will be here tis arvo (DH also, but still little rest) and obvs all weekend.

I might see if he can take them to his mums sunday - think he's a bit aggreived as he had to look after them solo for quite a lot last weekend whilst I was poorly and he is exhausted too.

So I dropped DC2 at MIL this morning and then said to self I would spend only 1 hour cleaning/tidying which I did - lounge now feels like a grown up lounge and has no toys in it!  Our bathroom is clean as is kitchen.  Ran out of time to do floors and decided that I would stick to the hour.  Now watching some tv then need to nip to shop to get something for dinner tonight.  Will do big shop tomorrow.

Blackcats

I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time.  

I agree that taking longer to start to recover from months of illness and strain.  Be honest with the GP and be guided by them.

setting yourself an hour of chores and then stopping and resting is a good tactic.  

Enjoy the home grown potatoes! 

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear you’ve been so unwell. I agree with the others, don’t go back to work too soon.

I use The Organised Mum Method for cleaning. 30 minutes a day during the week and in theory weekends are housework free. There’s an app with lists and a podcast with timed tasks and music. Works for me. 

Take care of yourself. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh Lovely Friend! I thought you had disappeared! I am sorry you are feeling so exhausted. Not surprised tho. Please make sure you are honest with the doctor. I think our society's need to constantly achieve is really damaging (achieve as in the list and pressure to be seen "doing". Time to relax without it being scheduled in is unheard of and leads to our eventual collapse. 

Please take care of you and take the time you want to be well. Much love XXXXXX 

Humdinger1

@[Deleted User] so glad to find your new diary but sorry that you've been having such a time of it! Agree re the need to recover properly; without wanting to knock DH, do you think this is a reality check for him re what your life is every day?! Get well soon love Humdinger xx 

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the lovely comments all.  Saw GP today and she thinks I am ok to go back - I got the impression she doesn't really believe in signing people off as she commented that work was important for MH so I am back to work monday.  However, Mon and Fri will be from home so I plan to take it a bit easier if I find I'm struggling.  She did however up my medication.

@Humdinger1 - he took yesterday afternoon off as holiday - I had had the kids all morning and it was constant screaming and fighting all day from them.  I think he may have realised when this carried on ALL afternoon and at 4 we gave up and put the tv on and retreated to the kitchen exactly what it is like when I have them on my own.  I have another year of this (though first term after summer hols will be slightly easier as DC1 going to an assessment centre tuesday and thursday mornings) so not quite sure how I will get through this.  And also not convinced I will survive picking the DC up from school and having them on own until DH gets home 4 days a week from next Sept, so will have to look at options - but all v tricky until we know which school DC1 gets into which won't be until March/April!!

DC1 had his S&L review Weds and they are SO happy with how he has progressed, they are keeping him in the system (not least because he is going to the assessment centre) but they have said he doesn't need to attend any more S&L sessions/groups as such, they will just see him in pre-school/at assessment centre as he has made so much progress.  So we are really pleased for him and proud of him, he has come a long long way.  His nursery have been truly excellent and particularly his teacher who he is staying with next year - we will be getting her a very good present as she has gone above and beyond for him.

Spending not going great - we sort of get to this point (a week to 10 days before end of budget) and do a big ah s*d it, and last night we had a chip shop tea.  I've just done a big shop which was ridiculous but there was a £12 off voucher if went over a certain amount so bought stuff we'd normally buy but which wasn't needed yet to get it up to that - so whilst it may take us over reduced budget this month, it does save costs overall.  Sold a car seat and 2 bases for £60 yesterday so that helps.  I don't think we will go over "normal" budget but will be over the reduced one I'd set to try to swell the coffers.

We are in this weekend but hosting a BBQ for my old boss and his wife sunday - we didn't need to buy that much for that as we had a lot in freezer from when we had to cancel due to my being poorly.  I do find I organise these things then find it a hassle when it comes around to it.  Probably part of my anxiety/depression.  Then we are hosting another cancelled BBQ next Sat then my parents arrive the following Weds until Sun which is like having 4 kids to look after!!!  At least we have the BH to ourselves and then we have just over a week off in Sept and going away for some of it with the DC.

astrocytic_kitten

How are things going Rebecca? I’ve had a bit of a break from the forum and just found your new thread. You’ve had such an exhausting time of it, that sort of grind of illness and childcare and work and home would wear anyone down