Accepting a job offer but I may change my mind

MalMonroe

Greymug said:

Hello fellow workers.

I'm asking for advice on how to deal with a situation. Any help from previous experience is welcome.

So, I have a job which I don't mind. I don't love it nor hate it and it's got its pros and cons just like every other job.

Anyway, I received a job offer from another company; good salary, slightly higher than my current one and the job is pretty much equivalent (same role, same type of company, same industry). This new company is asking me to give them an answer and I have a 1 week deadline to decide.

Of course since I'm not unhappy at my job, I want to let my company know about this other offer and see if they can give me a pay rise. If they decided to give me a pay rise (which is likely), this would require a series of approvals that take longer than 1 week.

So my question is this: can I accept the new job offer, wait until I know if I get a pay rise, and then eventually change my mind and say oh well I don't want the new job anymore? So far I just have an offer letter, but no contract with all the details. 

Hi, you address your post 'fellow workers' but I retired and now I'm self-employed, so I hope that's okay.

When I worked for others, I never had a contract of employment before I actually started working at a new place. I usually received 2 copies of an offer letter, a copy of which I had to sign and return. Normally, for me, the first day of any new job was taken up with HR matters - including being given an employment contract to peruse and then sign, being shown around and generally becoming accustomed to my new role. 

You say your current employer is likely to give you a pay rise - why do you have to wait so long though? Can't you ask - and tell them that you've received the offer of a similar job with higher salary but you'd rather stay there if possible. Then you'll know one way or the other and you can take the new job if there's no prospect of a rise where you are. Or if your employer takes offence of course. 

74jax

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

JReacher1

74jax said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

If you work for a big corporate organisation then they will have very strict pay policies so people are often not in the position to hand out pay rises just because the employee requests one. Only exceptional circumstances e.g the employee resigning can trigger this scenario. 

I just don’t understand the view some people seem to have that they refuse to consider an alternative salary increase offer from the company they are employed with just because they refused to grant a payrise previously. It’s putting emotion behind something which is a purely business decision and no matter which employment option you take neither company would take it personally. It’s just business. 

Smithcom

JReacher1 said:

74jax said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

If you work for a big corporate organisation then they will have very strict pay policies so people are often not in the position to hand out pay rises just because the employee requests one. Only exceptional circumstances e.g the employee resigning can trigger this scenario. 

I just don’t understand the view some people seem to have that they refuse to consider an alternative salary increase offer from the company they are employed with just because they refused to grant a payrise previously. It’s putting emotion behind something which is a purely business decision and no matter which employment option you take neither company would take it personally. It’s just business. 

The difference here is that the OP is pretty confident that his bargaining chip alternative position will secure him a nice wage increase with the current employer, and seems quite chipper about stringing the 'new employer' along for a few weeks whilst they mobilise/organise themselves and give this increase to him.

The new employer will have undertaken a recruitment process, which they will have now stood down, because they have secured their new employee.

I accept the fact that everyone's perspective is different, but I struggle to reconcile the realities of the world with what appears to be a low-life form of behaviour that appears to be legitimised in the name of the free market.

As I said before, the OP should be careful of Karma.   Has a nasty habit of biting when least expected, and who knows when the OP may be on the job market again, and guess who wont be offering them a job!!!

JReacher1

Smithcom said:

JReacher1 said:

74jax said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

If you work for a big corporate organisation then they will have very strict pay policies so people are often not in the position to hand out pay rises just because the employee requests one. Only exceptional circumstances e.g the employee resigning can trigger this scenario. 

I just don’t understand the view some people seem to have that they refuse to consider an alternative salary increase offer from the company they are employed with just because they refused to grant a payrise previously. It’s putting emotion behind something which is a purely business decision and no matter which employment option you take neither company would take it personally. It’s just business. 

The difference here is that the OP is pretty confident that his bargaining chip alternative position will secure him a nice wage increase with the current employer, and seems quite chipper about stringing the 'new employer' along for a few weeks whilst they mobilise/organise themselves and give this increase to him.

The new employer will have undertaken a recruitment process, which they will have now stood down, because they have secured their new employee.

I accept the fact that everyone's perspective is different, but I struggle to reconcile the realities of the world with what appears to be a low-life form of behaviour that appears to be legitimised in the name of the free market.

As I said before, the OP should be careful of Karma.   Has a nasty habit of biting when least expected, and who knows when the OP may be on the job market again, and guess who wont be offering them a job!!!

If company A offers more money than company B then it is perfectly acceptable to stay with company A and the OP is not a low life for deciding to stay with company A.

Despite your assertions company B won't be blackballing the OP from any future employment opportunities as they won't take this decision personally, in business a situation like this happens all the time.  Company B will almost certainly have a second candidate for the job who they have not rejected yet and will then probably offer the job to.

Undervalued

JReacher1 said:

Smithcom said:

JReacher1 said:

74jax said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

If you work for a big corporate organisation then they will have very strict pay policies so people are often not in the position to hand out pay rises just because the employee requests one. Only exceptional circumstances e.g the employee resigning can trigger this scenario. 

I just don’t understand the view some people seem to have that they refuse to consider an alternative salary increase offer from the company they are employed with just because they refused to grant a payrise previously. It’s putting emotion behind something which is a purely business decision and no matter which employment option you take neither company would take it personally. It’s just business. 

The difference here is that the OP is pretty confident that his bargaining chip alternative position will secure him a nice wage increase with the current employer, and seems quite chipper about stringing the 'new employer' along for a few weeks whilst they mobilise/organise themselves and give this increase to him.

The new employer will have undertaken a recruitment process, which they will have now stood down, because they have secured their new employee.

I accept the fact that everyone's perspective is different, but I struggle to reconcile the realities of the world with what appears to be a low-life form of behaviour that appears to be legitimised in the name of the free market.

As I said before, the OP should be careful of Karma.   Has a nasty habit of biting when least expected, and who knows when the OP may be on the job market again, and guess who wont be offering them a job!!!

If company A offers more money than company B then it is perfectly acceptable to stay with company A and the OP is not a low life for deciding to stay with company A.

Despite your assertions company B won't be blackballing the OP from any future employment opportunities as they won't take this decision personally, in business a situation like this happens all the time.  Company B will almost certainly have a second candidate for the job who they have not rejected yet and will then probably offer the job to.

I don't see how you can possibly know that, any more than Smithcom can feel certain that they will!

JReacher1

Undervalued said:

JReacher1 said:

Smithcom said:

JReacher1 said:

74jax said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

If you work for a big corporate organisation then they will have very strict pay policies so people are often not in the position to hand out pay rises just because the employee requests one. Only exceptional circumstances e.g the employee resigning can trigger this scenario. 

I just don’t understand the view some people seem to have that they refuse to consider an alternative salary increase offer from the company they are employed with just because they refused to grant a payrise previously. It’s putting emotion behind something which is a purely business decision and no matter which employment option you take neither company would take it personally. It’s just business. 

The difference here is that the OP is pretty confident that his bargaining chip alternative position will secure him a nice wage increase with the current employer, and seems quite chipper about stringing the 'new employer' along for a few weeks whilst they mobilise/organise themselves and give this increase to him.

The new employer will have undertaken a recruitment process, which they will have now stood down, because they have secured their new employee.

I accept the fact that everyone's perspective is different, but I struggle to reconcile the realities of the world with what appears to be a low-life form of behaviour that appears to be legitimised in the name of the free market.

As I said before, the OP should be careful of Karma.   Has a nasty habit of biting when least expected, and who knows when the OP may be on the job market again, and guess who wont be offering them a job!!!

If company A offers more money than company B then it is perfectly acceptable to stay with company A and the OP is not a low life for deciding to stay with company A.

Despite your assertions company B won't be blackballing the OP from any future employment opportunities as they won't take this decision personally, in business a situation like this happens all the time.  Company B will almost certainly have a second candidate for the job who they have not rejected yet and will then probably offer the job to.

I don't see how you can possibly know that, any more than Smithcom can feel certain that they will!

It’s an educated guess. I accept there is a very small chance of a company keeping a record of previous job applicants that they want to blackball but think it’s very unlikely 😃

Smithcom

JReacher1 said:

Undervalued said:

JReacher1 said:

Smithcom said:

JReacher1 said:

74jax said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

If you work for a big corporate organisation then they will have very strict pay policies so people are often not in the position to hand out pay rises just because the employee requests one. Only exceptional circumstances e.g the employee resigning can trigger this scenario. 

I just don’t understand the view some people seem to have that they refuse to consider an alternative salary increase offer from the company they are employed with just because they refused to grant a payrise previously. It’s putting emotion behind something which is a purely business decision and no matter which employment option you take neither company would take it personally. It’s just business. 

The difference here is that the OP is pretty confident that his bargaining chip alternative position will secure him a nice wage increase with the current employer, and seems quite chipper about stringing the 'new employer' along for a few weeks whilst they mobilise/organise themselves and give this increase to him.

The new employer will have undertaken a recruitment process, which they will have now stood down, because they have secured their new employee.

I accept the fact that everyone's perspective is different, but I struggle to reconcile the realities of the world with what appears to be a low-life form of behaviour that appears to be legitimised in the name of the free market.

As I said before, the OP should be careful of Karma.   Has a nasty habit of biting when least expected, and who knows when the OP may be on the job market again, and guess who wont be offering them a job!!!

If company A offers more money than company B then it is perfectly acceptable to stay with company A and the OP is not a low life for deciding to stay with company A.

Despite your assertions company B won't be blackballing the OP from any future employment opportunities as they won't take this decision personally, in business a situation like this happens all the time.  Company B will almost certainly have a second candidate for the job who they have not rejected yet and will then probably offer the job to.

I don't see how you can possibly know that, any more than Smithcom can feel certain that they will!

It’s an educated guess. I accept there is a very small chance of a company keeping a record of previous job applicants that they want to blackball but think it’s very unlikely 😃

I wonder which is more likely after the OP messing the 'new employer' around for weeks on end whilst they hold out for a pay rise from the 'previous employer'.   Are you seriously saying that the new employer would likely welcome them with open arms should a future vacancy arise and the OP was back on the market again......or do you think they will think 'once bitten twice shy.

I live in the real world and I know for a fact that any employer would be at least wary, and at worst run a mile, from any previous applicant that had strung out the role for many weeks, and then declined it, after having accepted it.

But we all have a view, I guess.

JReacher1

Smithcom said:

JReacher1 said:

Undervalued said:

JReacher1 said:

Smithcom said:

JReacher1 said:

74jax said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s pretty standard to change your mind if your current company gives a counter offer which is more attractive. You need to make the decision that is best for you. It’s a purely business decision at the end of the day and neither your current employer or the employer who offered will take it personally over whatever decision you make. 

People will say if your current company valued you then they would give you a pay rise and you shouldn’t have to leave etc but these people don’t live in the real world so it’s best to just ignore them 😃. 

Hey, I'm very much in the real world last time I checked... ☺ 

It all depends on personal circumstances. As mentioned before when asked on here, I asked my boss for an increase (I really didn't want to leave but had, I thought, a really good case for an increase).  I didn't get one so it was my choice to look at another role which I did.  I handed my notice in and was offered the increase and a little more but didn't take it. I honestly don't see anything - personally - wrong with that. I'm very clear to always say its what I would do myself.

Everyone's real world is different. 

If you work for a big corporate organisation then they will have very strict pay policies so people are often not in the position to hand out pay rises just because the employee requests one. Only exceptional circumstances e.g the employee resigning can trigger this scenario. 

I just don’t understand the view some people seem to have that they refuse to consider an alternative salary increase offer from the company they are employed with just because they refused to grant a payrise previously. It’s putting emotion behind something which is a purely business decision and no matter which employment option you take neither company would take it personally. It’s just business. 

The difference here is that the OP is pretty confident that his bargaining chip alternative position will secure him a nice wage increase with the current employer, and seems quite chipper about stringing the 'new employer' along for a few weeks whilst they mobilise/organise themselves and give this increase to him.

The new employer will have undertaken a recruitment process, which they will have now stood down, because they have secured their new employee.

I accept the fact that everyone's perspective is different, but I struggle to reconcile the realities of the world with what appears to be a low-life form of behaviour that appears to be legitimised in the name of the free market.

As I said before, the OP should be careful of Karma.   Has a nasty habit of biting when least expected, and who knows when the OP may be on the job market again, and guess who wont be offering them a job!!!

If company A offers more money than company B then it is perfectly acceptable to stay with company A and the OP is not a low life for deciding to stay with company A.

Despite your assertions company B won't be blackballing the OP from any future employment opportunities as they won't take this decision personally, in business a situation like this happens all the time.  Company B will almost certainly have a second candidate for the job who they have not rejected yet and will then probably offer the job to.

I don't see how you can possibly know that, any more than Smithcom can feel certain that they will!

It’s an educated guess. I accept there is a very small chance of a company keeping a record of previous job applicants that they want to blackball but think it’s very unlikely 😃

I wonder which is more likely after the OP messing the 'new employer' around for weeks on end whilst they hold out for a pay rise from the 'previous employer'.   Are you seriously saying that the new employer would likely welcome them with open arms should a future vacancy arise and the OP was back on the market again......or do you think they will think 'once bitten twice shy.

I live in the real world and I know for a fact that any employer would be at least wary, and at worst run a mile, from any previous applicant that had strung out the role for many weeks, and then declined it, after having accepted it.

But we all have a view, I guess.

I can only assume you work in a small business with just say two or three people. In that scenario you are right as they probably won’t consider the OP again as they’ll take it personally (like you seem to be doing). 

However any decent sized organisation won’t really be that bothered as it’s a common occurrence for someone to pull out of a job offer due to a better offer. You’ve previously mentioned karma but that’s not actually a thing 😉

TELLIT01

JReacher1 said:

Despite your assertions company B won't be blackballing the OP from any future employment opportunities as they won't take this decision personally, in business a situation like this happens all the time.  Company B will almost certainly have a second candidate for the job who they have not rejected yet and will then probably offer the job to.

Some will but others won't.  If I had recruited somebody who accepted and then turned down a job they wouldn't be top of my list to recruit if another vacancy came along.  Why should I be any more confident they wouldn't do the same thing again?