Leaving a group

Mojisola

Emmia said:

Honestly just leave the group, if they ask to your face "why" just say that it's not really your cup of tea.

And if your mother is concerned about you missing family events, she can easily message you with the details. 

ironlady2022

leaving is best thing

Claddagh_Noir

Just say you have become a ludite overnight and be done with it.  Your family sound very overbearing and domineering from what you have wrote.  Like something from a cliche American sitcom!!   I am part of a work group chat due to working from home and it is constantly on mute and I just look over it every so often.

Luckily, I am not part of a family groupchat, if I need to speak to any of my kin, I will give them a call as and when. 

pinkshoes

sim2335 said:

Ms_Chocaholic said:

Can you mute the group and not get involved and just look at it from time to time for events etc

I have muted the group, if I don’t say anything they just bring my name into things, then I need to respond.

and it seemed weird if I’m the only person in group not saying anything ever

Have you actually asked them in the group to stop making jokes?

If you make jokes back, they might not have a clue that you actually find it really awful and upsetting so keep doing it. People are not mind readers.

You don't NEED to respond at all to things like this unless they ask you a direct and sensible question. Otherwise just ignore.

sim2335

My mums not in group it’s just my couins and uncle.

pinkshoes never thought of that, what happens when i need to ask them a question?, that’s when they make jokes.
nope not told them stop joking, I don’t want to make a big deal or show it affects me etc

london21

sim2335 said:

I’m in a group with some of my relatives, I don’t like it and want to leave because I don’t really get involed feel like a outsider and almost every time I say something people will take the mick, so I don’t feel like saying anything.

Or randomly just bring my name into things for a joke.

My mum is get really angry when I said I want as there’s events etc on that she thinks I will miss out on.

Don’t get me wrong I enjoy meeting them and hanging out but not on group chat it’s too much and I don’t wanna meet them all time.

Sometimes they go a bit far when I defend myself, or say a joke back.

It ruins my whole day, even when I was happy, I start thinking what must people be thinking, etc and think people look down on me etc

Why should I stay with people who don’t respect me.

The Important things they will still invite me, it may be a nusicince for them to message me separately plus I don’t wanna make a big issue when I leave. And my mum thinks why don’t I wanna get involed with family, I told her they take mick and she’s just like ignore it.

Other things I enjoy she doesn’t like I meet Hare Krishna, really enjoy it and she’s like you will get brainwashed and that’s all you will think about.

And there going on a trip for 4 days, only for 175 and mum was thinking I was mad for wanting to go, and waste of money, and how will you afford anything elese etc.

Start by muting the group.

If so bad then leave but you might get them upset.

But then again do what works for you. 

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

My mums not in group it’s just my couins and uncle.

pinkshoes never thought of that, what happens when i need to ask them a question?, that’s when they make jokes.
nope not told them stop joking, I don’t want to make a big deal or show it affects me etc

But it does affect you.
To the extent that it can spoil your whole day.
I'm not convinced that your Mum is fully supportive but could you ask her to tell these family members to back off?

sim2335

Pollycat said:

sim2335 said:

My mums not in group it’s just my couins and uncle.

pinkshoes never thought of that, what happens when i need to ask them a question?, that’s when they make jokes.
nope not told them stop joking, I don’t want to make a big deal or show it affects me etc

But it does affect you.
To the extent that it can spoil your whole day.
I'm not convinced that your Mum is fully supportive but could you ask her to tell these family members to back off?

I don’t want them to know it effects me it’s embrassing, or make it a big deal.

would not invole my mum etc.

pinkshoes

sim2335 said:

My mums not in group it’s just my couins and uncle.

pinkshoes never thought of that, what happens when i need to ask them a question?, that’s when they make jokes.
nope not told them stop joking, I don’t want to make a big deal or show it affects me etc

If you need to ask something then just ask it.

If they respond with jokes that you find inappropriate then just politely ask them not to.

E.g. "would you mind not making jokes like that? I find it rather rude".

If they keep making the same jokes even once you have asked them not to then just leave the group. They are not your sort of people, family or not!

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

Pollycat said:

sim2335 said:

My mums not in group it’s just my couins and uncle.

pinkshoes never thought of that, what happens when i need to ask them a question?, that’s when they make jokes.
nope not told them stop joking, I don’t want to make a big deal or show it affects me etc

But it does affect you.
To the extent that it can spoil your whole day.
I'm not convinced that your Mum is fully supportive but could you ask her to tell these family members to back off?

I don’t want them to know it effects me it’s embrassing, or make it a big deal.

would not invole my mum etc.

Then you either have to put up with their behaviour or leave the group.
There is no magic wand to make your relatives behave in the way you would like them to.