We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum. This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are - or become - political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
Leaving children unattended - advice please
muddlingmywaythrough
Posts: 48 Forumite
I am a dog walker with a 7 Yr old and an 11 Yr old. During school hols etc I am fortunate that I can drop all but one of my clients so can be with the kids (some of the dogs I walk are not used to children so it works well for me). For the last few months or so I have been leaving the kids at home alone for an hour and a quarter while I walk this one dog. They are sensible anyway and know the rules (no answering the door, no using kettle/cooker etc). I also video call every 15 mins to check they're okay. This has always been fine and without problems. I have also let my neighbour know as she works from home and keeps a listen out for the kidd for me but thankfully she's never been needed. Now however she's moving and I just don't know whether to carry on leaving them on their own. Eldest I definitely would but youngest will complain if she has to come out but eldest doesn't. I know there are no laws on this (just guidance) but what do you all think?
0
Comments
-
Take the children with you and get exercise plus family time.
Depends on the children but that feels to young, I have similar aged children at home and older children.
I should add how do they get on ? I would struggle with my older boys up to about 13 on their own briefly !.1 -
You know your children and how mature and capable they are. I had no problem leaving mine alone for a few hours when they were 10 and 11. The only thing in your situation is the age difference between your children. I don’t think it’s fair to leave an 11 year old in charge of a 7 year old.0
-
There's no childcare here once children are 11/yr7 so I had to have mine responsible enough to be left by the time they were that age if I was to work.
For that reason I would say your older one should be ok. The younger one is a couple of years younger than I started prepping mine to be left. I'd be more tempted to take youngest with me.1 -
You are not suddenly leaving youngsters on their own and you are not out of contact. They know the rules, haven't broken them up to now and know what to do if something happens. Even if a parent is in the house they are not in the same room monitoring their every action so you being around the block isn't that much different.
The only thing I might suggest is to see if there's another neighbour(s) who might be available to call on for help should you be a bit far from the home. Also maybe get a key safe so that if there is an emergency someone (neighbour or other) can access the house without actually having to give them a key.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Debt Free Wannabe and Old Style Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
"Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.” Nellie McClung1 -
Ultimately asking a group of strangers on the internet who know little of your children and your circumstances will do little to reassure you that the right decision was made if things go wrong.
My Partners children are 12 & 9 and exceptionally responsible and we live in the countryside but we would be reluctant to leave them more than 15 minutes (Girl and a Boy) my children two boys living in a small town there is no way I would have left them 10 minutes at this age as no doubt disaster would have happened, they flooded the house tripped the electrics @ 18 & 15 !!!.
That said the eldest girl is now 12 and often comes home to an empty house and I know some parents who would not be happy with that.
I appreciate though some times it's good to sense check, it does sounds like you have built up to this point and are being as responsible as possible, me personally I would bring them both with me for a walk and a chat.0 -
One thing I'd say - and your dynamics may vary - is that I always made it clear to my eldest that he was NOT responsible for his brothers' behaviour. Blood would have flowed if he'd thought he should 'make' them do what they were supposed to do: homework, going to bed etc.
I can't remember when we first left them alone, but I definitely didn't leave all 3 of them for quite a while! Any 2 together were OK, 3 was high risk whether we were there or not.Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
I never left my older child responsible for the younger one. What happens if they fall out? If the older one tells the younger one to do something or not do something and they don't agree?
I feel it is unfair to make an 11 year old responsible for a 7 year old.
We had a family dog and they came with me rain or shine.
.
I had 4 years between my two but didn't leave either until they were 11 .
While there are no rules as such if anything happens when they are alone you can be charged with neglect.0 -
I think leaving an 11 year old on their own for an hour or so is fine but I wouldn't leave them looking after a younger child and I definitely wouldn't leave a 7 year old on their own.
It sounds like your choice is either to take the younger one with you (and they won't be happy) or leave a child at home who I suspect most would say is too young to be left. Is it really that big a decision? I'm not a hard line "do what I say" parent by any means, but if there is a good reason - like safety - for something, I will put on my grown up pants and say what will be happening. It doesn't matter if they're grumpy about it, you're an adult, you can manage. You could offer some options to your 7 year old to make it more fun - they choose the route or they choose a treat on the way home at the end of the week, or maybe get an app that's interactive as you walk around to make it more fun.
0 -
rach_k said:I think leaving an 11 year old on their own for an hour or so is fine but I wouldn't leave them looking after a younger child and I definitely wouldn't leave a 7 year old on their own.
It sounds like your choice is either to take the younger one with you (and they won't be happy) or leave a child at home who I suspect most would say is too young to be left. Is it really that big a decision? I'm not a hard line "do what I say" parent by any means, but if there is a good reason - like safety - for something, I will put on my grown up pants and say what will be happening. It doesn't matter if they're grumpy about it, you're an adult, you can manage. You could offer some options to your 7 year old to make it more fun - they choose the route or they choose a treat on the way home at the end of the week, or maybe get an app that's interactive as you walk around to make it more fun.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 346.6K Banking & Borrowing
- 251.4K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 451.4K Spending & Discounts
- 238.8K Work, Benefits & Business
- 614.3K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 174.8K Life & Family
- 252K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards