Where to focus - mortgage, renovations etc?

beanielou

Hope all goes smoothly.

South_coast

Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

shellstar

Pay day has come. I've set aside £448 towards moving costs. My deposit is covered by my equity in the sale but not solicitors fees, stamp duty etc. I am trying to minimise the impact on my emergency/career transition fund and so I am saving all I can so as to not take any moving costs from that. I am £2739 short and realistically, I won't make up the full shortfall before moving but I will reduce it. I got £108 interest from my Plum ISA this month and that is in the pot now too.

The shortfall was less but I had a difficult text exchange with Ex-DP. We have a number of high ticket items that we jointly purchased - garden furniture, quality lawn mower, dining room table and chairs. He suddenly asked me to pay him for them. New, we paid about £5k for all 3. I said sure, but I already own half of them. He asked for £2k, and I pointed out that given they are 4-5 years old, they aren't worth as much as he thinks. I did my research, and the lawn mower has held it's value quite well. The garden furniture and dining room table range much more for what people are asking 2nd hand, and again, I already own half. Also, asking price isn't sold price. I (generously, I thought) estimated that if all items went for top whack, I'd owe him about £1100. He wasn't happy with that at all, said there were other items he's not mentioned (he probably means his sofa, which is absolutely wrecked by the dog and he wouldn't get anything for. He did bring it with him when we moved in together though, and chose to leave it - I didn't ask him for it and had actually assumed he'd be taking it, but it really is wrecked and he kindly said my 'needs were greater' than his). Anyway, we settled on £1500. So I am overpaying. What annoyed me most is that he's clearly forgotten that I forgave £5,000 of his debt to me to get him to agree to the original sale, so clearly I owe him absolutely nothing for any of it! I really wanted to point this out to him but just couldn't bring myself to start the argument. It's really brought home to me the extent of my people pleasing. I can hold boundaries with him, but in this instance, it's texts, I'm just trying to get to the end of this so I can be free of this particular tie to him, and I just didn't feel resourced to have the argument. Work has been busy, heatwave sapping all energy, year 1 of my course coming to an end so I'm tired. So I let it go, and now I'm £1,500 down I frankly, IMHO, didn't owe him. Will be taking this to therapy as definitely something to work on.

Survey is today! I went with the company suggested by my financial adviser. I'm sure they get a kick back, but they were the cheapest quote. So far, I've been impressed though. Very communicative. Good tracking so I know where everything is at.

There seems to be a problem with my buyer's mortgage. Their mortgage company is asking for buildings regs for the loft conversion. However, it was converted in the 1990s and no such paperwork exists. My solicitor suspects it never did and says its rare for such documents to be available after so long, if they were. We had indemnity insurance for this when we bought, but our mortgage company (and the previous buyers) never asked for this. It's not clear if they will accept the insurance etc. It is a bit of a worry but I'm trying to let the professionals do their job instead of worrying. End of the day, this must have come up before, there will be a solution, and I just hope the solution is simple and doesn't cause me any problems!! Fingers crossed. I don't think getting the regs retrospectively will be an option. If it was converted in the 1990s, it won't be up to modern regs for sure.

daisy_1571

just text him back saying

I've got the transfer set up to send you £1500, its marked to go off automatically as soon as you send the £5000 that I loaned you back to my account. The next message I expect you to send me will be to say you have sent it. Any other message will not be responded to.

If he can ask you for money, he can't object to you asking for money???

If you assume you will hear not more about it thats great. If you think he'll message and be annoying delete and block the number. In the idea days people didn't still have access to ex partners, its sadly too easy now to keep in contact but really there's no need to respond to anything he sends.

Apologies if there's more to it, thats just a response to your last post without knowing more background

Dxx

daisy_1571

Either that or tell him to come collect them/one of them in full and complete final chat. No way should you just be sending money. Let him try to sell a 5 year old table and chairs for what he thinks its worth.

You'll pick up a cheap set that will fit your new place better, you'll lose the joint memories of buying it with him and its one less bulky thing to move. Win, win, win !

shellstar

I've been quiet because tbh, it's been a really stressful and difficult time. I'm currently waiting for a structural engineer to provide a certificate of structural adequacy but he said he might not be able to because the loft is decorated (e.g. plastered, carpeted, wooden flooring over sub-floor). I confess I cried. I just don't understand how this is happening. How did this not come up when we bought it? The loft conversion was done in 1988. It's solid. Clearly it's structurally sound, and yet... There are some exposed beams and I've sent him every piece of paper and photo we took when we renovated it (nothing structural, we moved some partition walls - confirmed by a structural engineer at the time). I called Building Control to see if it was possible to get the original completion certificate (if one even existed. Apparently they weren't required to be produced as standard until 2013!!). I was told a) probably not and b) I have no legal right to it and would need the permission of the owner at the time of the conversion, or to contact the original architect and see if they have plans still. FROM 1988!!!

So I am feeling slightly hopeless and just trying my best to not show how upset I feel around DS. There is NOTHING wrong with the loft conversion. It's an amazing master bedroom with dressing area and large en suite. Today, it feels like this nightmare will never end.

My birthday was last week, and this was the day the structural engineer came. That morning I also noticed my downstairs toilet had the sound of water, as if the cistern was continuing to fill. It was continous. I couldn't find any water so called my plumber. He said, I'm sorry to tell you, but that sound is a mains water leak. You have a burst pipe somewhere under your house. I called Thames Water, they said they'd be out on the 3rd August. So I called the house insurance. They said I was covered for leak detection and access, but that I should go ahead and appoint my own company. So I did. Well - total saga. Thames Water didn't have correct records for where the mains stop tap is to the house. They came out to try and find it. My neighbours said nobody had been able to find it in 2 decades! Thames Water said the tap shut off 7 houses. The guy I hired actually found it, and it only shuts off 2 houses. Well, those neighbours were delighted to have the mains stop tap finally found. Over the moon! He then had to find the tap to my house, which he eventually found on the property of my attached neighbour. It's been hours of searching by this point. He's £112.50 per hour plus VAT!!! As he's turning it off, he notices in my neighbours garden a lovely, lush patch of green grass. Well, everyone's garden around here is a dried desert so tests confirmed yes, the leak is on their property. So I ruined their day by letting them know and today, tried to claim the near £1,900 I had to spend on detecting the leak. Instead, the claims portal is trying to send their own engineer to detect the leak (which would have been a much easier process on my birthday but I was told they wouldn't do!). So I'm trying to make clear, via this portal that no, I don't want you to send this new lot out. I want you to pay me back and here are the receipts. Nothing so far. I hope they don't try saying they won't pay because I used a different contractor. I checked at least twice that they were telling me to hire my own person and I hope that call was recorded.

Also, I've been diagnosed with anaemia. So if I'm being honest, at the moment I am low. I am pleased I passed the first year of my course. I am grateful for my beautiful boy. I have gratitude that if I'm stuck, I'm stuck in a village I love, but I also feel despair at the thought I could be financially tied to Ex-DP for the next X years if we can't sell the house, or lose so much on the house that my finances are ruined and my plans for a new life are in ashes. I confess, I've been crying a lot over all of this and all Ex-DP does is message when is it going to be sold?! When I told him about the leak he said to keep quiet and just get the house sold. I mean, I really just don't even know him anymore. Of course, this is before we found the leak was at the neighbours and I can't believe I had to explain to him that a) that is deeply immoral and b) the buyer could rightly sue us! He did send me his half for the structural engineer, but he's doing absolutely nothing to actually push any of this forward. I think I am starting to hate him.

So money wise… haemorrhaging with no guarantee of success. 😭

beanielou

All sounds very tough. Keep plodding.

shellstar

The loft got certified as structurally adequate, which I think is the best we can get without destructive paperwork. I am sooooo relieved!!! I've got several friends now petrified about their own loft conversions, converted pre-purchase with only indemnity insurance in place. Fingers crossed they don't hit the same issues. I asked to be told when the buyers got their mortgage and of course, have heard absolutely nothing bar a request to leave the oven and the dishwasher for them, which I'm happy to do. So I feel a lot lighter at the moment. The cumulative stress of lofts, and leaks and a 3 year old who wants to battle every request at the moment has been getting a bit much (the time he takes to get in the car!! If I try to speed things up the meltdown makes it longer. Give me strength!).

No news on getting back the money on the leak detection. Their computer is saying no because I followed the process as advised three times on the phone (find your own people and we will reimburse you) when it seems the actual process is to send out their own people. It's almost £1,900 so I really hope I can get this one resolved asap. I'm trying not to think about it.

Money wise, still not doing great. A while back I agreed to take DS to visit Granny in her new house in Scotland. She moved specifically to have room for a grandchildren so I feel I have to take him. We're driving as the plane was super expensive. All of his Dad's family are in Scotland and I do want him to know them, so we're going week after next. I'm breaking up the journey with a stay in Yorkshire. DS has never slept outside of a cot (accept the car, and on roll mats at daycare). I'm keeping expectations low. We'll be sharing a bed in Yorkshire and he has his own room at Granny's. There is a reason I've kept his bars on his bed so we shall see how we get on. At least there are others around to help if he decides to party at 2am, as he did last time I tried to convert his bed to a toddler bed.

shellstar

Update on the leak claim. They are only going to pay one of the 3 invoices I have submitted (as it took them hours to find the mains stop tap due to Thames Water not knowing where they are). They at least are paying the largest invoice. So removing excess, I am out £750. To find my neighbours leak. Never mind I guess. Could have been my leak. My poor neighbour is housing association so they have been out twice now and still not fixed the leak. It's a really bad one so pretty stressful for them. I can't hear it in my house anymore for some reason. I suspect it is now louder in theirs. Oddly, the water pressure has been absolutely fine! So it is galling to be out so much money, but could be a lot worse and at least it's resolved (for me) and off my mental load.

beanielou

Glad they are at least paying something. Enjoy Scotland. I’m in central Scotland.