Will I ever get to the end?!

rachy185

Hi all, a long winded post ahead!

First time for me coming face to face with my debt, enough is enough and I'm just hoping there will be an end to it all whether it takes years and years!

I don't even know where to start, I've always enjoyed spending but I was actually a good saver at one point and very careful. I won a jackpot in 2020 and I think it spiralled from there, my debt around then was around 12k and to this date its around 37k. I seem to gamble a lot then spend a lot more, I like to spend with no limits. Literally no control over myself no more and I really don't know how to stop. 

I am lucky at this minute as no debt is incurring any Apr, my worry is if I don't get it down enough then eventually I won't be able to swap between cards and 0%.

Currently my debt is:

Tesco £13436 (pay £250 monthly)this 0% ends next April, I was wanting to then transfer the remaining balance to mbna if an offer is available.

Halifax £3973 (pay around £500 for someone who uses it but £1669 of that balance is mine and I don't pay towards this yet I think the 0% ends roughly April next year too)

Barclaycard £9933 (pay around £415 monthly, 0% ends April 2024)

Mbna £2625 (hoping to pay £100 monthly for now as I have too many outgoings, 0% ends this time next year. This is the card I want to transfer the rest of the tesco banks debt once the 0% ends)

Lendable £5200 @ £162 monthly.

I have done my incoming and outgoings etc which after my bills and cutting down on food bills I'm left with just under £400 monthly. I have 4 children so would obviously like to keep some funds to get what they need but I'm struggling to think that £80 odd weekly for a month would be enough especially now the cost of everything has increased.

I suppose I just want some comfort in knowing its possible to be debt free one day, and I'm intrigued to see if people have been in a similar situation and managed to cut the debt.

I honestly spend so much and I think I need to address the issues deep down, week in week out I live the same routine. Gamble, spend win some back and do the same again with getting money out of the credit cards. I am so ashamed its got to this point considering I've always been careful. I also pay everything on time etc so no deep trouble just as of yet.

Each day is a new day and I am so willing to get debt free and be happy again!

Amber1980

Hi there,just dropping by to say good luck and well done for taking the first step!
You will get lots of good advice on here,as you said,the main thing will be dealing with why you gamble and how to stop…….there are definitely people on here who will have that personal experience xx

rachy185

Amber1980 said:

Hi there,just dropping by to say good luck and well done for taking the first step!
You will get lots of good advice on here,as you said,the main thing will be dealing with why you gamble and how to stop…….there are definitely people on here who will have that personal experience xx

Thank you so much for your reply, I just need to see that there is an end and I don't have to keep living the way I do. Just need to snap out of this routine and take it day by day xx

Amber1980

I guess most of us who are in debt have got into it for similar reasons,not everyone of course but I certainly overspent on clothes etc for years,it becomes a habit like any other,then maybe an addiction!,
 I still find that my routine in the morning is automatically to look at clothes websites etc,I’m much better at just looking now,but really to break a habit you probably need to find a different,healthier one?
Just like I associate a cup of tea with chocolate so if I wanted to give up chocolate I’d probably need to not sit down with the regular cup of tea and do something else instead!😂😂

rachy185

Amber1980 said:

I guess most of us who are in debt have got into it for similar reasons,not everyone of course but I certainly overspent on clothes etc for years,it becomes a habit like any other,then maybe an addiction!,
 I still find that my routine in the morning is automatically to look at clothes websites etc,I’m much better at just looking now,but really to break a habit you probably need to find a different,healthier one?
Just like I associate a cup of tea with chocolate so if I wanted to give up chocolate I’d probably need to not sit down with the regular cup of tea and do something else instead!😂😂

This is so true 🤣🤣 I think everyone has some form of addiction but different ways to manage it. If I want something I usually purchase it only like perfumes, trainers and clothes etc. The children have everything they need, certainly not spoilt but they do get a lot spent on them too especially birthdays/christmas although I set limits per child and usually don't go over. Like you say I need to find a healthier option 😊

mark55man

Good luck welcome aboard.  

Have a look at this budgeting tool called a SOA (Statement of affairs) https://stoozing.com/soa.php and feel free to post it up here. One of the buttons formats it for MSE. Although you need to get on top of the gambling, you still need to address the wider spending bit as well - and there are so many spending geniuses on this board that I am sure you will get suggestions for some things that will help. 

we stopped at 4 kids as well so I know the pressures they can bring - but you sound right on top of that

my theory is that you can save a lot by doing some big one off things, but the most money saving is done by reducing or stopping the smaller habits/drains on your weekly or daily spends.  good luck I have subscribed and will be around for the duration - it will be a slog, and I've had my share of ups and downs along the way, but you can do this, and it may help to know that lots of diaries have people successfully addressing similar  or worse situations.  You are not paying much if any interest at he moment so although unsustainable, maybe try a real tightening ASAP and then relax a little, but always looking to cut waste

rachy185

mark55man said:

Good luck welcome aboard.  

Have a look at this budgeting tool called a SOA (Statement of affairs) https://stoozing.com/soa.php and feel free to post it up here. One of the buttons formats it for MSE. Although you need to get on top of the gambling, you still need to address the wider spending bit as well - and there are so many spending geniuses on this board that I am sure you will get suggestions for some things that will help. 

we stopped at 4 kids as well so I know the pressures they can bring - but you sound right on top of that

my theory is that you can save a lot by doing some big one off things, but the most money saving is done by reducing or stopping the smaller habits/drains on your weekly or daily spends.  good luck I have subscribed and will be around for the duration - it will be a slog, and I've had my share of ups and downs along the way, but you can do this, and it may help to know that lots of diaries have people successfully addressing similar  or worse situations.  You are not paying much if any interest at he moment so although unsustainable, maybe try a real tightening ASAP and then relax a little, but always looking to cut waste

Thank you for the advice it really helps. I've done a soa i just didn't post as it shows I have less available as I don't include hairdressers etc in my monthly budget. I've had a good look through some of the diaries and it really helps, I've also taken on board some saving tips I have a piggy bank that I put notes and pounds in here and there. I only started it the end of January and there's roughly £300 already, I'm hoping it will go towards some of the debt at a later date but I find it helps. I also have £100 in bonds and £80 in my plum account, luckily I've also done parks this year to save for Christmas. I feel I've made a start and although it could be a lot worse interest wise etc its just making me really down the over all debt, I just hope I stop spending and limit as you say. Thank you for taking the time comment its much appreciated 🙏 

Four_Seasons

Hi, good luck in your debt busting journey, keep posting you will get lots of brilliant tips.
will be cheering you on x

rachy185

Four_Seasons said:

Hi, good luck in your debt busting journey, keep posting you will get lots of brilliant tips.
will be cheering you on x

Hi, thank you. I'm looking forward to seeing how far I will get this will thread will add to the motivation x

WinterWarrior

Hi rachy, good luck on your journey. I used to spend too much playing online. Like you, I never got into trouble with it, in fact I never took out debt for it, but I did spend too much of my disposable income. I also won a smallish jackpot that really set me on that path. I tried to stop, cut down, started again and finally registered with gamstop. I was convinced I could do it on my own, but I couldn’t without that complete block. I could spend an entire day spinning away and for a while was incredibly bored without it. I’m not proud, but I’m glad I recognised it before it became a problem I had to admit out loud! I really, really recommend a hard stop! 

I now have so much more spare money and you will have too. You’ll be in so much better a position to start your journey to being debt free once that devil is off your shoulder. I wish you so much luck 🌟

mark55man

lovely post WW.