Why don’t gamblers, give up asking for money.

NBLondon

sim2335 said:

people do get married through matchmaking companies and looking online.

Yes they do - but that's much more likely to be people who have previously had relationships that started in a more traditional way.  Sea_Shell is right - if you are hoping that this will find you a partner for life then you are probably going to struggle.  (Unless this is a religion based option for matchmaking; they can work when both sides are looking for the same.)

The answer to your top question is "because it's an addiction".  They will come back to you because you gave in previously.  So you need to keep that block in place and focus on what you really want - new friends and acquaintances, the goal of having your own place.

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

It’s scary to even think what he’s trying to do get me into debt I can never get out of and never have any money. Like situation he is now.

What kind of a addiction is this.

Forget him.

Lots of high profile people have had gambling addictions - Paul Merton and Peter Shilton to name a couple.

Your ex-friend is just one of many.
You can't understand why he does this so don't make your brain hurt by trying to understand.
He is not your problem.

I would say you may have an addiction to befriending people who take advantage of you and put you down.
You are worth more.

Re finding a wife:
You started a thread almost 2 years ago about this - did you take any of the advice you received?

sim2335

What I have staring doing is going to event I’m interested in

Brahma kumrais

Hare Krishna 

Yes Meetup too looking at Facebook groups.

Not sure what more to do find a wife, I’m not doing this specifically for a wife I’m going to events I enjoy.

What can I do when relatives make fun out of me, I’m in a WhatsApp group with them, most times I comment, they will make a joke out of it.

I can’t leave group as then I miss, important announcements baby pictures etc

Then when this happens all progress I was making outside feel like doing nothing.

ontheroad1970

If you go into a dating site specifically 'looking for a wife' one of two things is going to happen:

1. It will set off alarm bells to genuine people

2. It will attract scammers who will use your sense of desperation to separate you from your money.

Even with dating sites you need to build up a friendship first, and move forward at a pace that works for both people.  

ontheroad1970

Also, be prepared for relationships to not work.  No relationship is ever perfect - even with those that stay together for many many years - in fact knowing the parts of your relationship that needs work will often help keep you closer.  But both people need to work out what works for them and this is not an exact science no matter what the online dating agencies might say.  Online chemistry is not the same as in person chemistry.

I met my wife online and we have been married for 20 years next year.  I'd chatted with women before and got into a position where we both felt like we were soul mates, only to find that when we met, there was no chemistry.  Eharmony etc might advertise that they have your perfect person, but that's only on paper.  Meeting and then building a relationship based on a friendship is sometimes a short path, but sometimes a long path with many diversions along the way.  Neither is better than the other.  You need to work out what your wants and needs are and how they fit in with another person's.  

Pollycat

Have you tried to tell your family that their comments hurt you?

Could you just read what others post and don't comment at all? (I don't do Facebook).

Do your parents know you feel the butt of family jokes?
Could they say something to these people.

It really seems to me - having read a lot of your threads in the past - that you are surrounded (or surround yourself ) with people who have a very negative effect on the small amount of confidence you have.

sim2335

On the road 1970 - happy to work on it just if I could find someone even as a friend first 

Pollycat - don’t want to make a big issue out of it, 

NBLondon

Sim - I'm going to ask you the same question I asked on another thread.  Are you - or could you possibly be - on the autistic spectrum?  This could be behind a lot of the things you struggle with.  

sim2335

NBLondon said:

Sim - I'm going to ask you the same question I asked on another thread.  Are you - or could you possibly be - on the autistic spectrum?  This could be behind a lot of the things you struggle with.  

A professor said she thinks I might have mild, however she needed to see my parents

but a dr psychologist I’m seeing now doesn’t think I have it.

one before I saw thought I do.

ontheroad1970

sim2335 said:

On the road 1970 - happy to work on it just if I could find someone even as a friend first 

Pollycat - don’t want to make a big issue out of it, 

You have to go in for it with an open mind - even if using online dating agencies.  Anyone that is all out asking for marriage at the first stage is not genuine.  Meet people online and offline.  Try and enjoy it and life.  Then more of your personality will show and people will get to like you as you are.  Easier said than done often when you are insecure, but sometimes you just have to say, "This is me.  Like me or don't".  You can learn something about yourself along the way even if there are some difficult moments.  

It's not the difficult things in life that make you stronger, it's you getting yourself through the difficult times that makes you stronger.  Don't forget that.