Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my dad's wife to pay me for my houseplant?

John_Gray

Perhaps you could sue her in the Small Claims Court for Deprivation of Plant?

It will cost only £35 (probably two or three times what the orchid cost), and you'll have the added advantage of never having to deal with that family ever again!

nczm

Five months ago, I asked my dad's green-fingered wife if she could use her skills to nurse an orchid back to health for me. It's now looking healthy and pretty - but on their windowsill. Should I ask her to pay me for it if she wants to keep it, or should I just let her have it as she saved it?

Really? I thought that this was going to be a question about whether you should pay your MIL… Realistically your plant would be dead if you hadn’t got help - which in my mind makes it worth £0 to you (plus the cost of a new plant if you’d had to replace it - so you’re already quids in). Either take it back or let her keep it, no money needs to be exchanged here - but maybe consider a thank you if you take it back…

Bex68

I think the other posters are right. I gladly nurse back to health house plants that my mother has tried to kill (her outside garden us absolutely amazing though!). But I have enough house plants so am glad to return them however, if, once I’ve nursed it back to health, I really like it, I’l I’d buy mum a new one, for her to try and kill off!! So yes, just leave it and buy another. They’re not that expensive!!

grandmafromnorth

Dilemma? Really? When I look at all that’s going on in the world I can’t believe this is even worth consideration. 

honestcove

Ok I get it - so it’s your dad’s wife but not your mum. So you probably don’t like her much, but don’t want to overly upset your dad. How about saying to her: “thank you so much for bringing life back to what was nearly dead, please keep MY plant on your window sill for as long as you are around”

youngroachie

Your 'moral dilemma' is somewhat misguided since you asked her to 'nurse it back to life for you' and she has clearly done that. You didn't ask her to buy it from you when it was in poor health so it seems strange that you would want her to buy it from you now that she has done exactly what you wanted by putting it on her windowsill and watering it properly! You could potentially say she's done a great job and ask for it back but the only money you could ask her for is the value of it when you have it to get when it was in poor health (i.e. ZERO) as she didn't ask for your near-dead houseplant.

Emerion

I suspect that you don’t like her very much. As a result, in your mind, you have turned her failure to mention handing the plant back as a deliberate, underhand way to be unkind to you. Even if you are right (you know her, we don’t), asking for payment will come across as so ridiculously petty, that she will have won that battle, hands down. Think how it would make you look in front of your dad. Far better to be generous with praise and thanks, whether you mean it or not. Ask for advice on it’s care, and just take it. It is your plant, so she can’t complain without looking bad in front of your dad herself. But - it is possible that she didn’t mean it like that at all. Once you get off on the wrong foot with step parents or step children, it can be hard to make things right because of all the emotional baggage involved. Could this have been a peace offering from her?

SStitanic

Of course you shouldn't ask her to pay for it, it would be dead if wasn't for her. 

itsawinningthing

I would tell her effusively how good it looks and how knowledgeable she is to have saved it. As long as you're sure that she knew that you were asking her to save it for you, I would turn up with a small gift, a bunch of daffs or small chocolates whatever her thing is as a small thank you.... Give them to her, pick up the orchid and put it with your things ready to go back home with you.

SadieSue

WOW, really? I find it hard to believe someone really asked this question. I grow orchids in my bathroom, they love the humid, steamy conditions but you really need to know what you're doing to keep them alive and healthy. Google it, ask your local garden centre for tips but if you're going to ask your family for help where you've failed the least you can do is offer some recompense, ask her what she'd like. Orchids are not cheap BTW so think twice before you buy them for yourself or others.