Requesting flexible working hours in my new job.

Taucher

Hello all,

I work in a big organization. I currently work 10am-6pm - I drop my son off at school and my wife picks him up. 

I interviewed for, and was subsequently offered, a new job (promotion) in a different department to my current one. Each department is like completely new organisation despite being the same company. I mentioned in my interview my desire to work different hours so that I can continue dropping my son at school. They said this can be considered. Two weeks after the interview I had an email saying I am welcome to submit a flexible working request when I start with them but that the expectation is that I work 9-5 (ie a request is likely to be rejected). 

My other considerations are that my wife works from home 100% and is the main breadwinner - earns more than double what I earn. SHe is pregnant and is planning to take a whole year maternity from July so taking son to school and picking up is possible for her but she'd also have the new baby.

I dont really know what to do - Im not sure I would have accepted the new job had I known the hours would be fixed at 9-5 and thought I was being responsible raising it in the interview.

Any advice?

Jillanddy

I'm sure you're aware how perverse this is still - the roles would normally be the other way around! 

Whilst it is always hard (for both parents, if they are both working at it) with a new baby,  I think it's not impossible,  given there's planning time still,  for her to be able to do the school run with a baby. Many of us have had to do it,  so it's not impossible. It's actually not even that hard most of the time with planning. 

In her shoes too,  I'd want to support you with this opportunity to progress. Fantastic she is the breadwinner.  Great she earns a lot.  But life can change on a sixpence, so progression for you is a good thing - as is the satisfaction of progressing, new challenges and trying new skills. 

So I would talk to her in the context of how do you make it work. If they refuse your first request,  you have a year to prove yourself and can submit again.  But none of this is insurmountable if you both want it to work.  Kids grow up so fast. Before you know it, they'll be taking themselves to school and won't want to be seen dead with either of you. But seeing positive and happy,  progressing and progressive parents, role models worth emulating, is worth more to a child than anything. 

You can both make this happen.  If you want to. 

DontBringBertie

As a compromise could you ask them if they’d consider 9-5 on three days and 10-6 on two days or something?

That way your wife wouldn’t be doing the drop off 5 days a week.

Although, difficult to assess without knowing what type of job you do. 

ILoveSittingDown

When my kids were born I put in a flexible working request to work from home 2 days a week. This was pre-pandemic where working from home was much less common in our organisation. When submitting the request I included how it would benefit me but also how it would benefit the company. So try to think how you could spin it as a benefit to the company. Maybe you could emphasise that having an hour 5-6 after everyone else has gone home will allow you more time to do any parts of the jobs that require intense focus and concentration?

General_Grant

I think I'm alone in not seeing the problem.

You are looking to a promotion which would prevent your taking your child to school most days.
Your wife has a job which is working from home (so perhaps not that far from the school) and would need to get him there before 9 am.  So she'd be back at home close to normal business start times and perhaps these are not critical if she is able to take time in the middle of the afternoon to collect them now.

The question is, "how does the boy get to and from school, who is available to accompany him?"

Answer: a parent takes the child and the one available is the mother.

It's not about who earns the most and sharing child care: it's about the practical task of getting the child to and from school.

ILoveSittingDown

General_Grant said:

I think I'm alone in not seeing the problem.

Because you haven’t read or understood the original post

Ath_Wat

Taucher said:

Hello all,

I work in a big organization. I currently work 10am-6pm - I drop my son off at school and my wife picks him up. 

I interviewed for, and was subsequently offered, a new job (promotion) in a different department to my current one. Each department is like completely new organisation despite being the same company. I mentioned in my interview my desire to work different hours so that I can continue dropping my son at school. They said this can be considered. Two weeks after the interview I had an email saying I am welcome to submit a flexible working request when I start with them but that the expectation is that I work 9-5 (ie a request is likely to be rejected). 

My other considerations are that my wife works from home 100% and is the main breadwinner - earns more than double what I earn. SHe is pregnant and is planning to take a whole year maternity from July so taking son to school and picking up is possible for her but she'd also have the new baby.

I dont really know what to do - Im not sure I would have accepted the new job had I known the hours would be fixed at 9-5 and thought I was being responsible raising it in the interview.

Any advice?

How long after the interview was the job offered and accepted?

Can you still turn it down if that is your preference?  Did you say when it was offered that you were only willing to accept if you could continue your current hours?

Andy_L

They can only refuse if they have a " valid businesses reason" Do they? Is there a way you can show that reason is either mistaken or can be mitigated?

Undervalued

Andy_L said:

They can only refuse if they have a " valid businesses reason" Do they? Is there a way you can show that reason is either mistaken or can be mitigated?

Which most businesses can find if they have a mind to! Difficult, although not always impossible to challenge. Even if you successfully challenge such a refusal would you really be comfortable working there?

That said, many (perhaps most) larger organisations tend to go further that the law would actually require in accommodating this sort of request, as they often do with reasonable adjustments for disabled staff etc.

In many ways this is a situation where their "real world" attitude is more important than legal entitlements.

Taucher

General_Grant said:

I think I'm alone in not seeing the problem.

You are looking to a promotion which would prevent your taking your child to school most days.
Your wife has a job which is working from home (so perhaps not that far from the school) and would need to get him there before 9 am.  So she'd be back at home close to normal business start times and perhaps these are not critical if she is able to take time in the middle of the afternoon to collect them now.

The question is, "how does the boy get to and from school, who is available to accompany him?"

Answer: a parent takes the child and the one available is the mother.

It's not about who earns the most and sharing child care: it's about the practical task of getting the child to and from school.

Unfortunately you are not alone in not seeing the problem. Yours is the attitude of my employer, seemingly.

The parent who is available to take my child to school is not 'the mother'. My wife works from 7:30am - 2:30pm. She collects my son from school. I work 10am - 6pm. I get my son up, give him breakfast and drop him at school on the way to work. This works well and will work when we have another child. 

My son's school starts at 8:55am. The school is 30-35 minutes from my work. The school has told us there is no space available in the breakfast club so that is not an option. So if my new job insists I start at 9am that would leave my wife to take my son to school and pick him up at the end of the day. Soon she will also have to take our other child to nursery and collect them too. All while doing her own job which, relevantly, is most of our income. 

Carrot007

Taucher said:

General_Grant said:

I think I'm alone in not seeing the problem.

You are looking to a promotion which would prevent your taking your child to school most days.
Your wife has a job which is working from home (so perhaps not that far from the school) and would need to get him there before 9 am.  So she'd be back at home close to normal business start times and perhaps these are not critical if she is able to take time in the middle of the afternoon to collect them now.

The question is, "how does the boy get to and from school, who is available to accompany him?"

Answer: a parent takes the child and the one available is the mother.

It's not about who earns the most and sharing child care: it's about the practical task of getting the child to and from school.

Unfortunately you are not alone in not seeing the problem. Yours is the attitude of my employer, seemingly.

The parent who is available to take my child to school is not 'the mother'. My wife works from 7:30am - 2:30pm. She collects my son from school. I work 10am - 6pm. I get my son up, give him breakfast and drop him at school on the way to work. This works well and will work when we have another child. 

My son's school starts at 8:55am. The school is 30-35 minutes from my work. The school has told us there is no space available in the breakfast club so that is not an option. So if my new job insists I start at 9am that would leave my wife to take my son to school and pick him up at the end of the day. Soon she will also have to take our other child to nursery and collect them too. All while doing her own job which, relevantly, is most of our income. 

First tiem you have clarified it with the hours your wife works.

If it was that important you should have made it a condition of acceptance of the job. You did not so are at the whims of the management who rightly decided it was not that important to you because it was not requested to be put in the contract.