Job Is Killing Me, My Options?

littlegreenparrot

I get the impression that you're drifting a bit - aware you want a change but not really sure what, or how to achieve it. Or even what the destination is. That's all fine, have been in similar positions myself in the past. 
I'm a bit of a one for setting up a plan - things to work towards so stuff is happening. Might not be the ideal thing, but it at least moves you towards where you want to be. 
I have also hated jobs, having an ongoing plan to get myself out of there has made me feel a bit better about it. 

So - my suggestions for what they're worth. 

- You can ask for the reduction in hours but don't know what the effect might be. I would start trying to put more money aside, and keeping an eye on local jobs for suitable things in case they throw a fit. Hopefully not, but if your on a zero hour contract they have no obligations to you, so better to be prepared and not need it. 

- Start learning to drive, maybe start putting money aside for car/ins if possible for when you get there. That will give you a lot more freedom to choose training/employment options further down the line. 

- Start looking into things that interest you. Have a chat with staff at the gym. What quals are required? How much do they cost? What's the pay like? You might be able to start working towards something, or volunteer, or whatever. Something related to it.
Years ago I did the Lifeguard course and did that for a 2nd job. 

- Try writing everything down to help order your thoughts (a mindmap can be useful for this) it can help to get everything out of your head and keep track of where you are. Then you can look at things like the logistics and stuff to see how feasible the ideas are. 

Of course your list of actions will probably be different, am just trying to give relevant examples. Try and find things that you can do now/next week that work towards what you want. 

Apologies for the essay, I have done info/advice for young people for years on similar themes and get a bit into it. It absolutely is possible to achieve, but it requires some thought, planning, patience and effort. 

TurnItAround

@littlegreenparrot Thank you! Please don't feel bad about writing as much as you want I'm very grateful for it as I've never had anyone advise me on basically anything and made many mistakes due to it also passed up on opportunities that would have benefitted me had someone had a word with me.

Anyhow you are right I am drifting or just stuck in thoughts. I had a dream throughout my teens that fell through and one I held onto for long, even to this day but just a modified version of it.

Health and Fitness is something I enjoy too and I genuinely would love to help people get into shape as I know how it can feel if like in my case you're really skinny low in confidence etc or overweight too I believe getting into shape can be life changing, I don't know exactly how I'd go about it. One route is do a PT course, another more appealing route is just do private coaching online and in person which I could build up by doing free coaching and this could combine my love for graphic design and art to some degree, even editing videos for clients (if i go down the route of making personalised videos for them) 

I could go on about the amount of things I have interests in and even tested the waters with in the past but then given up (not due to work just my own character flaws).

I do write stuff down but even that is scrambled, is there any method you can suggest as you can see by my post my head is all over the place and I pretty much believe that you can't be a jack of all trades but the only way to find my way is by trying.

As for the other stuff like driving its something I need to do asap, been putting it off way to long. Whenever I write a goal list its at the top, the only problem is my goal lists aren't very detailed or in-depth 

Jillanddy

One route is do a PT course, another more appealing route is just do private coaching online and in person which I could build up by doing free coaching

Without a qualification you cannot get insurance. Without insurance, the first thing that goes wrong with a client, and you will never dig yourself out of the debt you will be in when they sue you. Being on line won't protect you - in fact it could make you much more vulnerable if they follow your instructions and you give out duff advice.

I would suggest that instead of trying to grab at every straw, decide on one... research it ... decide what you need to achieve it and whether that is something you are prepared to do... and if not move to the next on the list. And why have you given up your teenage dream? You are 31 not 71! Nothing is impossible if you want it enough. Well, unless you want to be a top sportsperson, which may be a little hard to crack at 31. But people retrain or even start out in careers much older than you are. They succeed because there is nothing else they would rather do. 

[Deleted User]

TurnItAround said:

@arctic_ghost What is that? And to be honest I don't have a clear goal I just know I'd like to work either in a field I like or do my own thing, preferably the latter. I love health and fitness and am also quite good at graphic design/video editing/art so that could be an avenue I'd like to explore too. It just feels like any ideas I had have been written off in the past 5 years due to a combination of things not just the job.

https://www.nhshealthatwork.co.uk/what-is-oh.asp

Finding something you like doing is one way forward however it needs to pay your way through life.

I'd be inclined to find yourself a job that will let you slow down for a time while earning enough to cover your outgoings while you decide where to next.
You may want to consider getting qualified in something, perhaps obtaining a degree, and starting over. After obtaining a degree, my youngest decided out the blue to do a masters in social work, he never worked in a related field in his life, took to it like a fish to water and now works as a SW, Mon-Fri no shifts, good pension. It takes time and a deal of effort to get there, but a good job is unlikely to simply come along like the next bus, you need to make it happen.

Good luck with whatever you decide.  

pickledonionspaceraider

arctic_ghost said:

I'd be inclined to find yourself a job that will let you slow down for a time while earning enough to cover your outgoings while you decide where to next.

This 100%

It sounds as if you need a breather to get your head together OP and if you could find something less demanding, it may give you a temporary solution to gather your thoughts for a long term plan.  If you could find something local too, that would be ideal to cut the commute

I did this once - I left a high stress and long hours role, to work in a much easier environment, for about 3 months. It is the BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE in my working life.  It allowed me to gather my long term plan and start to address many issues 

We are at work too many hours of our lives, to spend them miserable.   I think many people who work full time can relate, it is hard to fit in friends, family, hobbies and even things like healthcare appointments.  I entirely get where you are coming from.

Take care

Ditzy_Mitzy

Ten am to seven pm Monday to Friday with an hour break per day equates to a forty hour working week, which is nothing unusual.  Going to a gym is something of a red herring as it's a leisure activity.  Is there one close to the workplace?  If you can leave the premises during the break it might be possible to go to the gym and have a quick shower rather than doing nothing with the hour. 

The commute seems to be bothering you.  Would driving save time?  If so, take a week off and do an intensive course.  And ask for a chair to sit on, they are being unreasonable with that one.  It's a furniture shop for God's sake.  

StevenB12

Unfortunately the simple and probably only solution is to find a new job. 

I work in utilities and used to work on the drainage side, I was often doing 90 hours or more over 7 days, this included on call duties 3 or 4 days a week. Fantastic money but no life what so ever, I would literally some days come home at 2 or 3am having started at 6:30am the previous morning. In the end I ended up still going to work with a chest infection, this turned to pneumonia and had me down and out for about 6 weeks. In that time I thought why am I doing this? Im never at home, no free time etc. And as much as I enjoy having money, it wasn't giving me time with family etc.

What I've done and what may work for you, is look at what you need to pay all your fixed bills, rent/mortgage, energy bills etc and shopping, and then see ideally what you need or want to have as luxury money to do as you please with, its often less than you think you want when you work it all out.

You could look at retraining or going self employed, especially on security work where you can set your own rate and work days and hours to suit.

theoretica

Just picking up on one point - Driving - there is a lot you can do yourself for free to prepare and make the best use of in-car time. Have you passed or are you confident you would find the theory test easy?  Really pay attention, especially when being driven, to the road, road markings and other drivers. Do you cycle?  If you can get yourself to a stage where all you need to do is learn to control a car it will be easier than trying to learn more at once, and cost less!

TurnItAround

@Ditzy_Mitzy yes the shop opens at 10-7pm but I have to still be here from 8am-8pm so its the extra 4 hours that were added since covid + the commute which are the main issues. I wouldn't say gym is a red herring as I kind of need to go, I didn't mention it but I also have quite severe posture/pain issues that are just getting worse (back pain, rotated hip, chronic tightness) been going to "specialists" for nearly two years and they've all been useless but going gym does help compared to if I don't go. So whether it's a home workout or a proper session it is mandatory for me to go and also I've noticed it helps with my mood and attitude a lot. I understand its my choice to go but it's not something i want to miss out on because of a job I don't like (even though I go irregularly due to motivation/fatigue) 

I used to have a chair but a lot of things changed here so it's not possible now.

@StevenB12 I think that is the harsh reality, I need to find a new job I think because the rate is good here I'm holding on and don't want to go unemployed so I guess if they don't agree to change my schedule I'll have to walk as you said with a security licence I can find work fairly easily.

@theoretica that is my ultimate goal for the short term, but again i need some time freed up to take lessons etc

I'm still lost what to say to my employers, what's a solid excuse I'm currently just planning to say something to the effect of "I can't work Wed/Thursday anymore as I need to work on something I've had planned for a while"

Not sure if its a good reason

theoretica

I am not sure if you picked up my post about working time directive - for 'only' working 48 hours you don't need an excuse - you have an absolute right

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/79108183/#Comment_79108183