Job Is Killing Me, My Options?

Jillanddy

Secondly I think I gave the wrong impression again but in no way am I on a hunt to claim disability or any benefits its solely for the purpose of time to work on things i have an interest in and can potentially convert into income or even some courses I want to do so 3 days is perfect as it'd free up two whole days I can utilise. 

I didn't think you were. But disability is the only reason why an employer must consider adjustments due to a medical condition; and equally I wanted to be clear that cutting down on work meant cutting down in income too, and not having money drastically cuts into ones leisure activities! It's all very well saying that you don't have enough time to do what you want to do, but that is a common enough malady for people in full time work, and it's obvious from previous posts you've made that money has been an issue when you had all the time in the world to pursue your own interests. You asked "does it have to be like this?". Well for the vast majority of people with no private income, the answer is pretty much yes. It's work, or it's poverty. Sometimes both at the same time. 

I don't think there's any magic solution to how to ask though. You have no obvious grounds for arguing for this, so I would probably just go with saying that you are struggling with the number of hours and would like to cut them. See what they say. If they are amenable, I don't think it needs a sophisticated argument. If they aren't then no argument in the world will convince them.

theoretica

You haven't a hope of getting exactly what you want, if you don't tell your employer what that is.  I would say just ask, but know and be clear that it is asking and not demanding.

On the other hand, how many hours a week are you currently working? 60? 55? You have the right to opt back in to the working time directive and only work a maximum of 48 hours on average - but I would start by asking for the greater reduction you really want.  If you need it, the TUC have a draft letter here https://www.tuc.org.uk/sites/default/files/tuc/optout.pdf

TurnItAround

@Jillanddy okay I see what you mean about the medical issue stuff. So do you think I shouldn't mention it at all? I forgot to say I'm also due for a surgery on both my legs to remove the veins in the scanning/check up stage atm. Not sure if it means anything. Also does being 0hrs give me any wiggle room?

The only real thing I have going for me is that I've been here 3 years and the shop I work at the management really like me to the point that if I explain to them my situation they'd say to my employer that they specifically want me on site if my employers decide to axe my hours or keep me doing 60 a week with no compromise.

I did struggle with money most of my life but thankfully in the last year or so I've managed to pull my stuff together, still room for improvement but I've come a long way in that regard. I also don't want the time off to spend money or go holidays etc I don't do any of that stuff and previously when I had time I didn't want to actually do anything to further my life or future, i just feel like I'm in a different place in terms of what I want to do with my life.

I understand life is life and not a 24.7 roller-coaster ride of fun and amazing experiences but I also dont think being sleep deprived and miserable is the only answer. If these things weren't a factor then why wouldn't everyone just do 12hr+ shifts as it'd be extra cash, so that's why I'm aiming for something more "normal". When I was doing 5 days 8hrs I had no real issue just my personal life was a mess compared to now. 

Sorry I'm not trying to come across as rude or argumentative and I know if I don't like it I can just go somewhere else and all that but I dont think it's as cut and dry as that because there are things I like and did try to fit things around this schedule but its just not working for me 

Jillanddy

TurnItAround said:

@Jillanddy okay I see what you mean about the medical issue stuff. So do you think I shouldn't mention it at all? I forgot to say I'm also due for a surgery on both my legs to remove the veins in the scanning/check up stage atm. Not sure if it means anything. Also does being 0hrs give me any wiggle room?

The only real thing I have going for me is that I've been here 3 years and the shop I work at the management really like me to the point that if I explain to them my situation they'd say to my employer that they specifically want me on site if my employers decide to axe my hours or keep me doing 60 a week with no compromise.

I did struggle with money most of my life but thankfully in the last year or so I've managed to pull my stuff together, still room for improvement but I've come a long way in that regard. I also don't want the time off to spend money or go holidays etc I don't do any of that stuff and previously when I had time I didn't want to actually do anything to further my life or future, i just feel like I'm in a different place in terms of what I want to do with my life.

I understand life is life and not a 24.7 roller-coaster ride of fun and amazing experiences but I also dont think being sleep deprived and miserable is the only answer. If these things weren't a factor then why wouldn't everyone just do 12hr+ shifts as it'd be extra cash, so that's why I'm aiming for something more "normal". When I was doing 5 days 8hrs I had no real issue just my personal life was a mess compared to now. 

Sorry I'm not trying to come across as rude or argumentative and I know if I don't like it I can just go somewhere else and all that but I dont think it's as cut and dry as that because there are things I like and did try to fit things around this schedule but its just not working for me 

Ah. Ah. You didn't mention being on a zero hours contract. Or if you did I missed it. If you are genuinely a zero hours worker, you don't need to ask. You just tell them when you are available to work. You don't have any legal requirement to work any hours at all. BUT, BUT BUT - they don't have any requirement to offer you any hours either. They can, to all intents and purposes, simply stop offering you any work and that's it. So you could lose it all at pretty much any point in time. And if you are zero hours and are needing to undertake surgery this is probably the worst time to (a) ask for a reduction in hours or (b) mention anything at all about health or surgeries. If they get wind of the fact that you might be a liability you can kiss all your hours goodbye. So think very carefully about it, and if you still want to do it, I would simply say that you unfortunately can't work on XTZ days now due to "domestic responsibilities" or some such thing - you need to help your elderly mum, for example. 

And I am not seeing you being rude or argumentative - just making sure that you have considered all aspects and risks to this. Because it will be too late to cry foul if you don't like the outcome later! 

[Deleted User]

Ask your employer for an occupational health referral and start there.

That aside what plans do you have for going forward long term?

hangryconsumer

TurnItAround said:

I understand life is life and not a 24.7 roller-coaster ride of fun and amazing experiences but I also dont think being sleep deprived and miserable is the only answer.

You're lucky getting to your age and still having some kind of hope that life could be better because being sleep deprived overworked and miserable is exactly what society and the government wants. It's how they control us. You get miserable from your poor quality of life and then they can dope you up on antidepressants so that you can continue to be a complaint zombie for the next 40 years until you finally get to die.

One person here usually comes across as negative/attacking so I can see why you've gone on the defensive but you've done nothing wrong. Your 15/16 hour day is horrible and draining but employment law doesn't care about that and wants to put the blame on you for your poor work/life balance. "oh it's YOUR FAULT that you have a 2 hour commute" and so on and etc. Life/society/government doesn't care if we are miserable, it just wants us to slave away. Doesn't matter if we're happy as long as we're doing the work they're forcing us to do.

You're right to question it and you're right to be miserable because it's affecting your health and you want to die because life is a big fat 4-letter word beginning with S. You want more, and I wish you all the best of luck in getting there.

purplelady99

Work seems to be taking up too much of your life so I’m not surprised you feel exhausted at the weekends. As you’re only 31 years old it’s not a great situation to be in where your work is having a negative effect on your health. You have a long term medical condition so your employer may consider making reasonable adjustments for you. However I’d suggest the best solution is for you to look for another job, maybe a lot closer to home so you don’t have all the travelling to contend with and can have a better work / life balance.

 It sounds as if work takes up so much of your time that you don’t have any headspace to think through alternatives. Could you book a couple of days annual leave or say you’re not available for a couple of days to give yourself some breathing space and have a good look on recruitment sites to see what types of roles are out there that you might be interested in? There are lots of jobs around at the moment. I think you just need the time to think through the options and come up with a plan. Good luck with it all. 

TurnItAround

@Jillanddy Yes that's correct it is a zero hour basis, would they ask for proof if I said I'm doing a course or looking after someone? That's why I mentioned my colleague who does nights, he's on an actual contract and they've let him switch to 2 days a week for over a year and also found someone to cover Sundays. So one guy does mon-thurs, he does fri/sat and a 3rd guy does Sunday. I understand they can sack me off completely but Im hoping it won't be that extreme. I once was off 6 weeks due to surgery for a broken hand and they told me themselves to just stay off until full recovery as I wanted to return earlier. Mind you I don't get sick pay.

@[Deleted User] What is that? And to be honest I don't have a clear goal I just know I'd like to work either in a field I like or do my own thing, preferably the latter. I love health and fitness and am also quite good at graphic design/video editing/art so that could be an avenue I'd like to explore too. It just feels like any ideas I had have been written off in the past 5 years due to a combination of things not just the job.

@hangryconsumer Thank you man appreciate it, I've always been optimistic that I'll live some life I want maybe I'm deluded but hey the thought of being like this stuck in a job I hate seems like the idea of hell to me. I understand people have to do it and circumstances make people do it but I've seen my parents do it and in a way I see it as a disservice to them if I dont make more of myself. Again I may be out of touch with reality and but like you said I'm still hopeful although I can feel it dwindling with time. 

I appreciate Jill's posts maybe it's the reality of life for many after all including myself, I do agree however there are limits and completely agree about how the system is designed and really so far removed from what humans wants and needs actually are whilst also making necessities of life more and more difficult to obtain. 

@purplelady99 Cheers, I could consider that but I think ideally I'd be happy with 3 days here if its not possible then that'll be my only option. 

Also you're a 100% right about how I am mentally atm, my mind is scattered and whilst a few days off or annual leave is good I still feel completely lost as any interests I had have been put so far behind me that I've ironically lost interest and even if I do start to peruse something on my time off, its just zapped away as soom as I return to work which I hate, I hate getting into something, making progress then it instantly stops due to my work. 

I've also had situations where I've had annual leave and just stood in my room not knowing what to do with the time as I work 5-7 months with no annual leave sometimes. 

Thank you everyone for the input its very much appreciated, I'm not after pity or trying to make it sound like my life is the worst but I genuinely don't have any friends and the "friends" I do have can't give any worthwhile advice with any resemblance of care or thought... Or just effort, so its much appreciated! 

Jillanddy

@Jillanddy Yes that's correct it is a zero hour basis, would they ask for proof if I said I'm doing a course or looking after someone? That's why I mentioned my colleague who does nights, he's on an actual contract and they've let him switch to 2 days a week for over a year and also found someone to cover Sundays. So one guy does mon-thurs, he does fri/sat and a 3rd guy does Sunday. I understand they can sack me off completely but Im hoping it won't be that extreme. I once was off 6 weeks due to surgery for a broken hand and they told me themselves to just stay off until full recovery as I wanted to return earlier. Mind you I don't get sick pay.

You are not required to have or give any reason for refusing shifts. You simply say that you are no longer available to work whatever days you don't wish to work. How they will take that is something none of us could predict - you know them and we don't. 

What do you mean, you don't get sick pay? You surely must get SSP? The employer pays that. I assume you mean you don't get company or discretionary sick pay?

And btw - the fact that I reflect reality is in no way being negative. For anyone who knows me, I am very idealistic and left-wing. And it's lively to indulge in what life would be like in a perfect world, after the revolution, when life is fair and employers decidedly lovely.... That is not a world we live in. It's easy to spout words about human "rights" and "needs" when it is not you footing the bill or taking the risks. It's easy to encourage people to do what may be very foolish things without once warning them how risky it may be. It's also highly irresponsible. People need to be aware of the risks. Then it is for them to decide whether they are willing to take them or not. 

TurnItAround

@Jillanddy Sorry I do get sick pay via SSP but I dont know if actual contracted employees get more? If they do I guess I meant I don't get "actual" sick pay which I'm not overly fussed about but I dont think my surgery should be too much of an issue as far as the controllers have told me as long as they know in advance they can just take me off the shifts for the week or what have you.

I do agree though that reducing hours and the surgery coinciding could be an issue and maybe best not to mention any of it until my hours are reduced or something.

Also you are both right in your own way and have both given me a valid opinions from different perspectives which is always good, at the end of the day I know how I feel about my schedule as I'm doing it and do agree with Jill that I should think properly before making rash decisions which I've done too many times in the past but also not stick around because fear of the unknown