Transparency - am I being fleeced?!

mvarrier

I do all the household accounts and my wife is quite used to seeing money passed through her bank accounts in to savings accounts etc! However, I do have a spreadsheet, fully accessible to us both which I up date every month which shows where the monies are

LHW99

I tend to be the one keeping an eye on everything, and also use a spreadsheet, but I make my partner sit down with me every 6 months or so, and just review all the accounts, just so there is some awareness of the number of accounts and rough balances.

However we each have our own accounts, which we deal with separately (if under supervision for my partner to make sure login etc doesn't throw up unexpected "computer says no" issues). It good for birthdays etc if nothing else!

Daliah

There's quite a bit about money on the Relate website https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/money. Don't give up until you have a greed a mutually acceptable way of handling the current and future  family finances

Kim1965

My partner has never taken any interest in our finances and refuses point blank to discuss pensions etc. I have provided all passwords and info. We only have a joint account.
 Recently my partner had to get the banking app and for the first time in 38 yrs asked about various payments and was happy to find there was a sipp and isa in her name.
 Why do you think something untoward is going on?? 

TheWoodler

Different models of healthy shared financial management work for different couples, incomes and family setups, but what they all have in common is regular discussion; a willingness to share both information and finances; agreement on solutions and goals; and access.

For example, my husband and I share household expenditure, but have completely separate finances. At the same time, we know each other’s salaries, where to find each other’s paperwork in case of need, and roughly how much the other has where, and will review, discuss, and agree everything together on regular basis.

From the sound of things, we’ve probably perused each other’s statements more than your husband has shown you where *your* money is, and I wouldn’t be comfortable with those fleeting glimpses you’ve described. 

enthusiasticsaver

I look after our household finances and we have a joint current account, two joint savings accounts and investments split between us in stocks and share ISAs. Frequently I transfer money around but my husband can access all accounts online. We each have a personal current account and credit card.