Money Moral Dilemma: I bought a friend gig tickets as a gift - should they have invited me?

drodbar

So let me get this right:  You're buying somebody something as a "gift", then expecting to be able to tell them how to use their gift? That's not really a gift; that's giving them something with strings attached.  

A family member of mine used to do this all the time.  He would give somebody a "gift" (usually money), then use emotional bullying tactics to make them go out for a drink with him and only him.  If they saw any other friends, he would remind them just how much he'd given them and tell them that they were being unreasonable.  It's quite a toxic way to behave and one of the reasons he had very few friends.

squirrel59

Of course not. If you wanted to go, you should have invited them to come with you. Your treat.

Tim11111000111

On the face of it, the gift was two tickets for them to do with as they please (including taking someone else).

Obviously there could be context that might affect the situation - have either of you gifted tickets before? Had you discussed the gig? Did you include a note or anything else that hinted you wanted to go? None of this would completely override the fact that the gift is still theirs to do with as they wish, but it might make the behaviour slightly less socially acceptable.

If you wanted to go, the gift should have been "I'm taking you to a gig" and you could have simply held on to the tickets. 

Angelica123

It's hard to see where the dilemma is... If you present 2 tickets with an unspoken expectation that one ticket will go to you... You are not giving a gift, you are giving a test. 

It is perfectly reasonable to say I am treating to you to X experience. It's no less appreciated by the recipient and takes out the ambiguity. For most people, spending quality time together is part of the gift anyway.

I hate unnecessary conflict caused by people expecting others to be telepathic and could easily be resolved with a little communication. 

Luker178

No dilemma. Should have invited them.

melvynjs

Dont be silly. You gave away the tickets. Give someone £100, see if they give you £50!

jedav

The trouble with gifts is that they may not be used in the manner in which the recipient would like.  This is especially true of cash.  To paraphrase a dictionary definition a gift is something given freely.  If you wanted to go with your friend you could have issued an invitation to attend with you and kept control of the tickets.  So, whilst it would have been nice if the friend had given you first refusal, there was no obligation to do so.  

honestcove

I think the answer is yes if that person was your bestie and you were expecting your bestie to say: “hey thats your fave band too so let’s go together cos your my bestie” Maybe you’ve now found out that they’re not. 

PeterE17

Go look for the answer in the pair of Family Guy episodes "Stewie kills Lois" and "Lois kills Stewie". The bad intentions behind the gift of a ticket led to all sorts of problems (or possibly a rollicking good fantasy).

Medic994

It's a shame MSE is lowering itself to this made up, click-baity rubbish