House starting to fall apart around elderly mum..

CapricornLass

Maybe worth having a look at the Buy with Confidence site, which is traders who have been approved by Trading Standards.  The people I have got that way to do work for me have been good.  Personal recommendation is obviously the other way to find someone reliable.

Chickereeeee

The ONLY reason that it could be a good idea for to stay is if she has great relations with he neighbours. Regular visits to each others houses, that sort of thing. Otherwise, I would do everything to convince her to move. It only gets harder later on, and eventually you will get her falling, and unable to contact anybody. (MIL fell on the stairs in the early evening, just after the daily visit, and we did not find her until the next morning. She had a call button around her neck, but forgot to use it.)

Eventually, we had to move her (to a care home) and she protested all the time, but, as soon as she was established in the new place, she was happier than we had seen her for many years.

Rosa_Damascena

joho said:

Thank you, especially @Bendy_House

Lots to think about. She's caught covid now too!

Is moving in with you an option? For your own peace of mind?

Bendy_House

Rosa_Damascena said:

joho said:

Thank you, especially @Bendy_House

Lots to think about. She's caught covid now too!

Is moving in with you an option? For your own peace of mind?

From experience, that's something to be considered very carefully.... :-)

Brie

There is a local service in our area that assists with work for elderly and disabled that can range from gardening to small home repairs.  That might be a good place to start.  Once you know that the individuals can be trusted they may be able to advise on the bigger jobs too.

Your local Age UK may be able to put you on to whatever your local group is called.  

Hope you're mom's covid is as mild as possible!

elsien

Bendy_House said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

joho said:

Thank you, especially @Bendy_House

Lots to think about. She's caught covid now too!

Is moving in with you an option? For your own peace of mind?

From experience, that's something to be considered very carefully.... :-)

Absolutely. I love my mother dearly but moving in together would be a disaster for both our peace of mind. We are in agreement on that point.

TELLIT01

Chickereeeee said:

The ONLY reason that it could be a good idea for to stay is if she has great relations with he neighbours. Regular visits to each others houses, that sort of thing. Otherwise, I would do everything to convince her to move. It only gets harder later on, and eventually you will get her falling, and unable to contact anybody. (MIL fell on the stairs in the early evening, just after the daily visit, and we did not find her until the next morning. She had a call button around her neck, but forgot to use it.)

Eventually, we had to move her (to a care home) and she protested all the time, but, as soon as she was established in the new place, she was happier than we had seen her for many years.

There is a big difference between it not being a good idea to stay where she is and actually getting her to move.  She will know the area, the shops etc and won't want the upheaval.  Unless she is to be dragged kicking and screaming from her home, a way to prevent further deterioration of her existing property needs to be found.

joho

Well there are a couple of options:
She moves somewhere smaller, newer, easier to maintain etc. as close to where she is as possible.
She moves in with us. But we are 200 miles away and she has my brother and 2 grandchildren very nearby. It would be a big wrench as she takes the grandkids to and from school etc. I don't think she could move in with them. 
She gets some money to do the works, whether that be mortgage, loan or equity release.
Someone wins the lottery!

TELLIT01

Some form of equity release or lifetime mortgage would have the lowest cost to her, but would she be able to manage the property if it was restored to good condition?  Alternatively, the OP and their brother fund the repairs and recoup their costs if/when the property is sold.  From the initial post I had assumed the mother was elderly and frail, but if she takes the grandkids to and from school that would seem not to be the case.  Why has she permitted the house to deteriorate so much?  Is it simply a case of not having the funds to get the work done?  Not judging, just trying to clarify the situation.

joho

TELLIT01 said:

Some form of equity release or lifetime mortgage would have the lowest cost to her, but would she be able to manage the property if it was restored to good condition?  Alternatively, the OP and their brother fund the repairs and recoup their costs if/when the property is sold.  From the initial post I had assumed the mother was elderly and frail, but if she takes the grandkids to and from school that would seem not to be the case.  Why has she permitted the house to deteriorate so much?  Is it simply a case of not having the funds to get the work done?  Not judging, just trying to clarify the situation.

We'd love to be able to afford to help and wouldn't care about inheritance, but we can't afford it either.

She's not frail and the grandkids keep her young and mobile for sure. Hopefully Covid won't affect her too badly.