Money Moral Dilemma: I put in a much bigger deposit - but should we split the property equally?

Rosa_Damascena

nick1234 said:

I personally wouldnt risk it and buy with someone more financially compatible, as the courts will always favour the weaker partner e.g. women in a split.  

I'd go one step further and suggest keeping finances entirely separate if possible. What is all this rush to shack up anyway?

SuseOrm

The professional misogynists have arrived i see.  courts only ever favour women staying in the family home or receiving a greater share if there are children involved I don’t even need to ask if some of you would see your children kicked out of the house because I actually know the answer to that already,  you wouldn’t hesitate.  

primrose_penguin

I think your partner is being rather selfish expecting the ownership of the property to be 50/50 when you are putting in 40% deposit and them 5%. Like others have said you need to speak to the solicitor handling the sale and make sure an agreement is drawn up and signed by both of you, that if you need to sell the house you get your 40% deposit back and they the 5%, then what is left as long as the mortgage etc. is paid equally the remainder is split 50/50 between you. If they won't agree to this I would question buying a house with them. Good luck.

randalf72

A potential issue is that purchasing a house is only part of the equation. 

Many have posted formulas that do indeed relate to the percentage breakdown based upon the initial investment but you’ve also got the maintenance costs which may be split equally but benefit the majority investor more. 

What would be the breakdown if one put in a significantly larger deposit but the other paid for a new kitchen and an extension increasing the value of the house?

How would it be affected if the extension was done two years after the move? Do the percentage splits still make sense or are they unfair? What about the capital growth since the purchase?

after a number of years should it be a moot point and a 50/50 split accepted as reasonable?

keithyno.1

REJP said:

I am puzzled by the description of the partner as "they".  More than one partner?
Apart from that, no, "they" don't get 50/50 share.  Will "they" be paying 50/50 on the mortgage?
If OP has to ask this question I wonder what other doubts will arise in future.   40/60 on decorators bills, same on household bills?  Not a good outlook for a long term relationship.

The description of the partner as “they” could be because the poster of the MMD doesn’t want to give ANY personal information away in case their partner reads it, thereby narrowing it down to them (note the gender of the poster isn’t stated either).

But it could also be because their partner identifies as transsexual, transgender, non-binary or gender fluid and hence prefers the pronoun “they” be used, instead of “he” or “she.” It’s becoming more and more common these days. 

MalMonroe

REJP said:

I am puzzled by the description of the partner as "they".  More than one partner?
Apart from that, no, "they" don't get 50/50 share.  Will "they" be paying 50/50 on the mortgage?
If OP has to ask this question I wonder what other doubts will arise in future.   40/60 on decorators bills, same on household bills?  Not a good outlook for a long term relationship.

No need to be puzzled -

"Singular they has become the pronoun of choice to replace he and she in cases where the gender of the antecedent – the word the pronoun refers to – is unknown, irrelevant, or nonbinary, or where gender needs to be concealed." (Oxford English Dictionary). It's becoming quite common.

Jake1642

It is perhaps less about money than about commitment to a relationship/ If you are committed and this is a long term relationship then over time one person is likely to earn more than the other (and this may change). Keeping finances separate does not make sense to me. If one person is richer then it is possible they could afford expensive clothes and meals while the other couldn't. If the richer then buys presents for the poorer it does look a lot like inappropriate control.

Decide on the commitment. If it is full then go in together financially 50/50. If not, then don't buy the house.

anotheruser

This is a contributing reason why true and real relationships are on the decline.

People trust each other less and keep things separate more these days.
Fully appreciate relationships can go sour over time, but was everything shared?  Were both parties earning?  Were both parties really 100% committed to each other?  I always get the feeling there was something off from the beginning with so many of them.

My wife and I split everything, despite me earning a fair bit more than she does.
I provided nearly 100% of the deposit for our house and haven't asked for a penny back.  We pay the mortgage from our joint account, of which she pays less than I do into it per month*.

I feel sorry for those people who are not in a fully 100% trusting and committed relationship that the dilema in this topic is a dilema and not an easy, straightforward action.


* = 

* Some people may say "well if you earn more, then you should pay more" - we organise our finances as equally as possible in terms of monitary value.  Sometimes, she will pay less and I will pay more, somes, my wife has paid more and I have paid less.  But if you put in a percentage of salary each, then that gives the partner absolutely no incentive to get a better job and earn more money.

MsWall

I've been in your shoes. It isn't fair to split 50/50 and you would effectively be gifting the person you are buying with (potentially) tens of thousands of pounds. My strong advice would be to buy the house as tennants in common. 'As tenants in common:

• you can own different shares of the property
• the property does not automatically go to the other owners if you die
• you can pass on your share of the property in your will.' (Gov website)

I'm no expert but this would protect your interests. It isn't about trust or a measure of how good the relationship is, it's just ensuring a fair split and in the event things didn't work out it would mean you would both come out with your fair share. Other people have also suggested entering into a trust agreement. I completley agree.

You'd need to speak to a legal expert but I'm sure if you agreed to pay different amounts of the mortgage, for example if they could afford to pay in more, you could work it out so that you both own a percentage based on what you've put in currently but your partners share of equity could rise to 50/50 once they had paid in the same amount as you. This could be an option.

I bought a house with someone fully convinced it was forever but life happens. Protect your interests. Good luck.

Gycraig

anotheruser said:

This is a contributing reason why true and real relationships are on the decline.

People trust each other less and keep things separate more these days.
Fully appreciate relationships can go sour over time, but was everything shared?  Were both parties earning?  Were both parties really 100% committed to each other?  I always get the feeling there was something off from the beginning with so many of them.

My wife and I split everything, despite me earning a fair bit more than she does.
I provided nearly 100% of the deposit for our house and haven't asked for a penny back.  We pay the mortgage from our joint account, of which she pays less than I do into it per month*.

I feel sorry for those people who are not in a fully 100% trusting and committed relationship that the dilema in this topic is a dilema and not an easy, straightforward action.


* = 

* Some people may say "well if you earn more, then you should pay more" - we organise our finances as equally as possible in terms of monitary value.  Sometimes, she will pay less and I will pay more, somes, my wife has paid more and I have paid less.  But if you put in a percentage of salary each, then that gives the partner absolutely no incentive to get a better job and earn more money.

A high number of marriages end in divorce so it’s common sense to do basics to protect yourself, the person you marry and the person you divorce are often completely different people. 

If my wife had put 40% of the deposit in and I put 5% I’d have been telling her make sure her money was protected. 

Whether I had more money or less I would definitely be getting it put in writing equity is split 50-50 in a sale and the respective partners get there deposits back l.