Money Moral Dilemma: I put in a much bigger deposit - but should we split the property equally?

Crossed_swords

And thirdly, you need to be tenants in common for unequal shares which will make a will necessary

ginger_chocolate

When I bought a house with my partner he put in a larger deposit than I did. After considering various options (through something called "talking to each other" I know, radical, right?) we decided that I would pay a higher share of the monthly mortgage payment until things even out.

 We also each left our share of the house to each other in our wills so that we didn't risk one of us being left homeless - and this is something you're going to need to consider too, regardless of how you split the house ownership. Even if you don't want your lesser contributing partner to be entitled to half the house if you split up, do you want to risk them being left homeless if you pass away unexpectedly?

This was influenced by the fact that he already owned property before we met, so was able to stump up for more deposit, but I had the higher salary of the two of us. If my salary or anything else about the situation changes significantly in the future, we will review, but so far it's worked well. We had also been together for over a decade at this point, so although nothing is guaranteed in life, we knew each other well enough to have a sense of how the other might behave in the event of a break-up 

This thread is probably useful in the sense that it might give you some ideas for different ways to approach the situation, but ultimately you have to talk to each other and figure out a solution that you can both live with. If you can't manage that, then probably it's a bit too soon to be entering a major financial commitment together. 

seeroo

I would usually say get a deed of trust that states you get your deposit back on sale. It's only sensible in an unmarried/no kids situation. In my experience partners say they don't care about money until you split then all of a sudden they want everything they can get. 

However as I notice only one other person has asked the question what is the reason for the other person having a lower deposit? Are there children involved? If one partner has given up part of their career or earnings to do unpaid labour like childcare etc. then is it really fair to penalise them for not being able to afford a bigger deposit. 

Once there are children you become a family and there is more to think about than just mine and yours. 

Also as others have said why are people assuming the person with the larger deposit is female. I paid all of our deposit of £30k and my husband nothing. I earn more than him and I have plenty of friends in the same situation. 

LittleMissSunshine2021

You are being completely reasonable. Definitely put in place a tenants in common rather than joint tenants arrangement, where you can specify the percentage each one owns, rather than a 50/50 split. This could also protect your assets in the event of your death.  Your conveyancy solicitor should advise you of the options. I did this with my (now ex) husband and protecting my assets allowed me then to be able to buy again when we had to sell the family home. If your partner is reluctant to do this and can’t see why it is important to you, then I would possibly question the longevity of the relationship and whether buying a house together is the right thing to do. 

Grumpy_auld_yin

Just no . First hand experience of a fall out (not mine) . Unless you have a lawyer for free it will cost you dearly to retrieve anything .

SuseOrm

I don’t think you should buy a house with anybody that there’s an even remote possibility you might split up from Personal

SuseOrm

teetkac said:

No, I don't think you should split 50/50. You could do two things:

1. Have an agreement drawn up that upon sale or split you get your 40% back and she gets her 5% and you could split the remainder 50/50. Or

2. Split it proportionally right from the start you 67.5% and her 32.5% (see a comment further up for the math rather than writing it out again for you).

Personally, I'd only split the whole property value 50/50 if you'd be willing to hand over your money if you split up. 

The thing is if they want to have children it’ll be a 7030 split at absolute best if the worst happens.  So honestly don’t think it really matters too much if, that’s in the big picture in in the plan,  whats documented at this stage.  

SeagullFTB

There's been a lot of good advice on here, but giving accurate advice is difficult with very little information. As seeroo mentioned, there could be other factors such as children. If you partner has less money due to raising your child(ren), it would be fairer to factor this in.

Ultimately, you need to communicate and maybe take separate advice and then find a solution that is mutually agreeable. There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer. On the limited information provided, a 60/40 split is quite generous. 

In response to those saying you shouldn't buy a property with someone if there's even a tiny chance you could split up... unfortunately, we live in the real world. I highly doubt you intend or foresee you splitting up, but there is ALWAYS a possibility that it could happen. A relationship is never guaranteed. 

Herts_Julie

Make sure that the property is bought as tenants in common rather than joint tenants.  Then draw up a Declaration of Trust to record your share and how any increase/decrease in value is to be apportioned.  You can have the solicitor draw up paperwork so that the person how put more money into the property, gets a greater share if you split and have to sell.  In law there is no such thing as a common-law husband/wife so if you aren’t married or in a civil partnership, your money in the property will go to your next of kin and not your partner, no matter how long you have been together or if you have children.  It is important to have a Will drawn up to decide where your property or money will go if something were to happen to you.  Solicitors will often draw up a Will for £50 so it’s worth protecting yourselves

FTB_Dan

SuseOrm said:

I don’t think you should buy a house with anybody that there’s an even remote possibility you might split up from Personal

Granted you shouldn't, but you also need to be realistic and plan for the worst. 

Me and my partner aren't contributing an equal deposit but as others have mentioned, this will be taken into account in the percentages so I own slightly less. No issue from my behalf and if the worst does happen then its a fair split.