We’re moving in… Couple… Finances

GBNI

Joint account for all bills (50/50) then own day to day account for your own spends is how I do it with my OH.

[Deleted User]

We're always done half of income each into a joint account to cover all shared expenses, other half kept for own spending.

That way the higher earner contributes more, but also keeps more, which seems fair. 

Pollycat

This is a subject that comes up often on here.

There is no right or wrong answer.

We have had joint accounts for 30+ years.
Over the time we've been together, our income has changed.
My OH was earning much more than me when we first met and that continued for some years.
Then he became unemployed and had to start his career again.

Gradually he caught up to my income and we were earning about the same.
Then I took early retirement aged 50 and my income reduced even though I was getting a decent pension and had a significant lump sum that went into the pot (along with the money from the sale of the house I owned before we met).
Then he finished work but without a pension (that kicked in age 60, 7 years later) so we lived on my pension.
My state pension came first, then his.

All income: 2 x occupational pensions and 2 x state pensions are paid into the same account.
We never argue about money.
It works for us.

Whatever you decide, it has to work for both of you.

NBLondon

PurpleGoldFish said:

As for a joint account, I don’t like this as I don’t have my own cards and I’d always feel as though I’d need to ask before spending. 

You don't have to give up your own account when you get a joint account.  

Joint account for joint spending: mortgage/rent, utilities, household expenses, savings for holidays etc..   Whether you fund it equally or in proportion to the take-home salary is for the two of you to decide between you.  What things are household expenses and which are personal is also a thing to agree between you.

getmore4less

One strategy is you set your living and expectations using the lower salary.

That determines the amount of rent, bills and me money based on the lower earner.

Then the higher earner pays for any upgrades if they don't like the level the lower earners money buys.

eg using the previous £1,000/£1,200 lets say lower want to split their pot
joint
£300 rent
£200 food
£100 bills
personal
£100 car/transport
£100 holidays
£100 going out
£100 savings

If higher earner wants better food, go out more, better holidays or a bigger sky package they pay from their extra £200.

Gavin83

Me and my wife have a joint account that we use for bills, plus some joint savings. We contribute 50/50 into these and we each keep the rest of our wages to do with what we wish. So essentially what Stephen is suggesting. It works for us. Others might want to do it differently. Ultimately there's no right or wrong answer to this.

comeandgo

My husband and I do as Stephen suggests otherwise it makes you look to be a money grabber.  

BellaLasagna2018

I’ll put it another way, a darker approach: One year on, you don’t really know Stephen that well yet, and consequently,  he doesn’t know you fully yet either (apparently, it takes 3 or 4 years of living together - I don’t know if it’s true, but let’s go with this). You put all your moneys together in a joint account and then one day, something happens, one of you ( I don’t want to be sexist here) turns out to not be so nice, or meets  someone else, or  wants another life, etc and cleans the account out. Where does that leave the other person? 

michelle09

Honestly I think that the only correct answer is the one that you and Stephen come up with and both agree. And only the two of you can work out what that is.

When my partner and I first moved in our rent+bills was £1400. So we opened a joint account and each put £1000 a month in. Then we'd use the extra for things like meals out and grocery shopping.

18 months later we got married, and 6 months after that we brought a house. We still have our income into our own accounts but we dump most of it into the joint. But we consider all of our finances joint and wouldn't make any sizeable purchase without talking to the other. I wouldn't be in a serious relationship without shared finances or with someone I didn't trust financially.

It works for us. Ultimately my partner is a bit bemused by my need to know exactly how much money we have going in/out but likes the financial situation it has put us in.

But I do believe that whatever system you have has to be one you are both fully on board with or it is going to create tension before you've even started.

onomatopoeia99

Share bills.  If you want to have the same left over as Stephen or more, increase your salary.