Divorce: Is there a way to keep house for kids?

So, things have changed a lot recently. 
Wife cheating ... discovered ... divorce initiated.
Currently all living in same house ... limited fun.
Kids (13 and 15) have indicated a desire to live primarily with me ... and I am 100% supportive of that. (but recognise need for relationship with mother as well).
Due to divorce I am leaving the forces so I can be present and stable for kids. Have resigned ... last paid day 1 Sep 22.
I'm trying to work out a way to buy my soon to be ex wife out of the house. 
This is the clever ideas help I am after. 

Basics of finances.
House value (shot up) 800k, remaining mortgage 240k
Pension pay out on leaving (I've done a long time) c.125k
Savings plus recent inheritance (my side but still joint pot): 280k

Based on a 50/50 split (I am not looking to screw her over, just want a clean break) I don't see a way I can buy her out of the house (c.400k).
Unless there are some clever tricks people know? e.g Is releasing equity an option?  
I know my pension / pension pot is worth a lot - can I do anything with that? Gift her more in return for paying less on house?
Hell I don't even know where to go for advice !!
And all complicated because I am leaving Forces and while I back myself to get a job, even if I do, I will not have been in it long to get a mortgage.
And essentially this is because I want to provide stability for kids as we go through this difficult time and as they go through GCSEs. They have both stated a desire to stay here, I'm OK with that.

Follow on question: if I can't stay here, and we get 50/50 split (c.450k each) should I:
A. Rent, until job - mortgage aligns?
B. Buy cheap and have some residual?
C. Buy as expensive as I can? 

Sorry if woolly, grateful for any advice / pointers. 

Thanks !!

Jeb

Comments

  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,607 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    What about any savings or pension she has - they are part of the pot as well. 
    Do you have a solicitor / that would seem to be your starting point. 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Is downsizing not an option?
  • tacpot12
    tacpot12 Posts: 9,171 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper


    Assuming your pension provisions are equal and that she has no savings of any sort, a 50:50 split would see you needing to pay her half the equity in the house £280K + half of your savings/inheritance/lump sum (so £280K + £125K divided by two)  = £482K

    You have £405K you can give her immediately, I would suggest you keep back £5K for emergencies. So you can give her £400K, which should be enough to buy a house, but leaves you owing her £82K.  

    I would expect that you can add this to the mortgage, so your mortgage will be £240K+82K = £322K.

    With your wife's agreement, you might defer remortgaging until you have been permanently employed for six months (so around Spring/Summer 2023). She would get her £82K when you are able to remortgage. Anyone advising her would also suggest that she gets some interest on this amount. 

    The best option financially is likely to be to sell the current house and by two properties costing no more than £480K each. With this option, neither of you would have any mortgage. (The equity in the house plus your savings/inheritance/lump sum would allow you to have £480K each for a house) 
    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,236 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    You and she are free to agree on whatever you want.

    However, given the figures you mention, a court is very unlikely to make an order that means one of you stays in the current house, unless that person can pay the other their full share, and remortgage to get them off the mortgage, as on the figures you've given there should be sufficient to enable both of you to rehouse , so the obvious thong to do is to sell the current house, and then for you both to rehouse.

    You should talk to both a solicitor and a financial advisor. It is possible to have  settlement where you offset pension against capital, but  generally it will make more sense financially to retain both types of asset - you don't want to wind up with no/minimal pension , and presumably your wife is going to need somewhere to live so she, like you, may want to maximise her share of the equity.

    50/50 split its the starting point but things such as your respective incomes and earning capacity are also relevant . Your pensions as well as any lump sum you get on leaving the service will be relevant. The inheritance you received is also relevant , if both your reasonable needs can be met without it then the court may see it as fair that you retain that rather than it being split, although this will depend on the specifics of your case. 

    On the face of it, if the house were to be sold then there would be a pot of somewhere in the region of £965,000 - so in most parts of the country you should be be able to rehouse without any difficulty.
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • Thanks all, very useful indeed. Sadly it appears that staying in the house for the kids is not really a viable option.

    So, sell it is.

    I think (!) I'll rent for a year, will put me in a position to see what mortgage I'll be able to get with new job (hopefully) and then move quickly when something comes up.

    Again, thanks all, just trying to make the best of the situation.
  • Thrugelmir
    Thrugelmir Posts: 89,546 Forumite
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    edited 19 February 2022 at 12:10AM
    Consult a family law solicitor ASAP.  As far as is the court is concerned the welfare of the children is paramount and will come first. To this end the Court automatically assumes guardianship of the children and represents their interests, independently of the warring parties. Division of assets can come later. The house could be sold and the equity divided once both your children have left full time education. Given their ages stability is key for the children. Extremely important years in their development. 


  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,236 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 25 February 2022 at 2:44PM
    Consult a family law solicitor ASAP.  As far as is the court is concerned the welfare of the children is paramount and will come first. To this end the Court automatically assumes guardianship of the children and represents their interests, independently of the warring parties. Division of assets can come later. The house could be sold and the equity divided once both your children have left full time education. Given their ages stability is key for the children. Extremely important years in their development. 

    .
    No, nearly all of this is inaccurate.

    In proceedings relating to the children (e.g. disputes over who they live with and what contact they have) the welfare of the children is paramount. However, the court does not assume guardianship.
    In Care Proceedings (where Social Services are involved) a Children's Guardian is appointed by the court to represent the children's interest, however, in private proceedings between parents it is unusual to have a guardian appointed, and would normally only happen where there are significant concerns (e.g. allegations of abuse by one parent ).

    In proceedings relating to financial issues, the needs of the children is one of the many factors the court takes into account in deciding what is a fair settlement. This is not the only, or the primary consideration. 

    It is possible for a house sale to be delayed, however, the court has to take into account the needs of both parties, and the fact that in most cases, the children will spend time with both parents so ideally both should end up about to provide suitable accommodation. 

    The couple can agree any settlement they want, including agreeing to delay a house sale to enable children to stay in the family home, however, if a court is making the decision it would be rare for them to delay the sale of the house unless remaining in the property were the only viable option, or where there  are special circumstances ( for example, where the family home has been adapted to meet the needs of a child with disabilities)   - there is no presumption that the needs of the children require them to remain in the same house as before the divorce, although ensuring that they do have *a* secure home is something the court will try to ensure  is achieved.

    It is correct that OP should talk to a solicitor, though. 
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 2,687 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Controversial, but could you stand it to delay the divorce and "just" become separated? If you stayed in the forces, presumably there would be reduced contact. The kids would get to stay in the house and you could sell and split the money after they've left. 
    Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

    For free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.
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