Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stretch my budget to have an expensive holiday lunch with my friend?

sparklygrl

I would be horrified if I suggested a fancy lunch to a visiting friend and they DIDN'T tell me it was too much.

How about suggesting an alternative - pop into a supermarket and grab some cheese, salami and baguettes and find a bench to sit on in the Tuileries - you can catch up, eat good food AND watch the locals.

Holygrail

grandmafromnorth said:

This isn’t a moral dilemma. It’s a question of common sense. If you really can’t afford the lunch say so. If you can afford it, enjoy the lunch. Pity you’ve not got anything more to worry about. 

I feel it is very harsh to say “pity you’ve not got anything more to worry about”unless I am misconstruing the comment. If I am then apologies. I feel being honest and explaining that you cannot afford a luxurious lunch will be no big deal. If they are a true friend they will have no problem with enjoying a much more affordable meal with a friend who they haven’t seen for a long time.

Pollycat

Why don't you just explain to your friend that you'd prefer a less expensive lunch?

Where you eat - and how much it costs - should be acceptable to both of you.

crmism

There's really no point having a budget, unless you stick to it - that's what it's for. Explain to your friend that you're unable to keep the arrangement, and suggest somewhere that IS within your means. Your alternative is to go ahead and meet up as suggested, but then you'll have to make economies elsewhere.

Lizrobson

Are you going to see your friend or have a meal? Which is important to you? Food for me is quite unimportant so I would go to a local snack bar, but only you know how important food i s for you.

VickiB

There is no such thing as "stretching the budget".  The point of setting a budget is to manage your finances.  If you can't afford it and it's not essential, you shouldn't spend your money on it.  The alternative would be to take another look at your budget and decide what you are not going to spend that money on (and for that you would need to have an understanding of exactly how much would be involved in that "slap-up lunch"), that is, what bill you won't be able to pay or what item you won't be able to have.  If you can re-budget and are comfortable with the result then you are not "stretching the budget" but working within the new one.  Either way, a good friend will be very happy to see you and spend time with you wherever you decide to eat together.

beebee20

I understand that the lunch is expensive and I agree with other comments about trying to find somewhere cheaper but also, how much is this lunch?! 

For the experience I'd say yes! As you've said you've not seen this friend for a while and you're rarely (I assume) in Paris. 
Saving is all well and good, but maybe it means buying own brand beans for the next few months, but you'll have gained an experience that you don't get everyday. 
After all what is money for if not to make sure you enjoy life? 
I say, go for lunch! It can't put you back THAT much, if it were £100s I'd say otherwise but , it's lunch! Live a little!

JayD

So many of these dilemmas simply need people to TALK to each other!

This is a friend, clearly one you are fond of and who is fond of you. Surely you can just tell her honestly that, while you are really looking forward to meeting up again, your budget wont stretch to a 'slap up meal' at Paris prices, and maybe she could suggest something a tad more affordable.

What would be so hard in saying that???

Brie

check to see if the really posh place has an adjacent cafe.  I've been to some very nice places where they had bottles of wine priced well into 4 or 5 digits but the cafe that was run by the same place was very affordable and still a great experience.

But if not - then just say you'd rather eat somewhere else instead.  Or just have cake and coffee.

gloriouslyhappy

SuperScrimper1 said:

Explain to your friend finances are tight ...Coffee and cake somewhere cheap ...or in a park if good weather...The main thing is that you get to see one another and catch up ... better an onion soup and a roll in a cafe than that if you need to catch up.

This ^^ But don't stress over it too much, a friend would understand most of your holiday bugdet's gone on the travel and other necessary expenses. Have fun!