Divorce help

So my ex of nearly 5 yrs has started divorce proceedings. This I’m happy about as I started the process 4 yrs ago and my ex would not comply and wasted lots of my money causing issues. 

My ex has contacted me to say when papers arrived please can I just sign and not cause any issues. I was baffled by this request and ex has said that they don’t want me to try lay claim to the pension they have. 

I’m really confused by this statement, I am also concerned as we have a child together who has additional needs and will not be financially self sufficient. I fear when our child hits 18 and maintenance stops ex will no longer provide or help support our child. This worries me especially if something was to happen to me. 

History around spilt ex threw us out of marital home and left me with nothing apart from a few clothes and small bits of furniture, and homeless. Within 4 weeks ex was with new partner, within 6 months surrendered our marital home to move in with new partner. 

Should I just sign or should I be asking for financial security for our child. 

Thanks for help and advice


Comments

  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 32,235
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    Don’t sign anything without getting proper legal advice first. 
    How long were you married for? 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • 400ixl
    400ixl Posts: 2,593
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    edited 7 February 2022 at 10:15PM
    You should be speaking to a divorce lawyer and understanding what you are entitled to. Some of the pension would probably be the main asset by the sounds of it.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 45,798
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    I can see what's in it for your ex if you just sign and 'don't make a fuss', but what's in it for you / your child? 

    I'm not one for demanding your rights and fighting to the bitter end for them (usually at a cost higher than whatever you are gaining), but I can also see no merit in being a doormat, which is what they are asking you to be, as far as I can see. 

    Take legal advice, take it from there. 
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  • elsien said:
    Don’t sign anything without getting proper legal advice first. 
    How long were you married for? 
    Married for 5 yrs, together 10, been separated nearly 5 yrs 
  • london21
    london21 Posts: 2,089
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    Do not be pressured into signing anything.

    Get legal advice.

    Do what is best for your child and yourself. 
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,198
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    The divorce and that financial issues are linked but separate.

    IF what you get is an application fr divorce, then returning this to say that you accept that the marriage is over doesn't prejudice your right to than make financial claims.

    You can seek financial settlement and if you have a child with additional needs then that's something it's likely to make sense for you to do, both for their benefit and if caring for them has affected your ability to work and build up pensions etc.

    For the reference to surrendering home I assume that you were renting ? 
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • TBagpuss said:
    The divorce and that financial issues are linked but separate.

    IF what you get is an application fr divorce, then returning this to say that you accept that the marriage is over doesn't prejudice your right to than make financial claims.

    You can seek financial settlement and if you have a child with additional needs then that's something it's likely to make sense for you to do, both for their benefit and if caring for them has affected your ability to work and build up pensions etc.

    For the reference to surrendering home I assume that you were renting ? 
    Yes we was renting through housing association. 

    My pension is minimal as haven’t been able to work full time due to caring for our child. 
  • kazwookie
    kazwookie Posts: 13,762
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    Get good legal advise.

    Sort out what you are entitled to in a financial settlement, and then start negotiations, sound like they wants to protect the pension for the new partner, and not pay any out to you.  value of house, value of any pensions, value of any money in the  bank / shares etc.

    DO NOT sign anything.

    Also what will happen to your child if anything does happen to you?  you need to make a WILL.
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  • Ms_Chocaholic
    Ms_Chocaholic Posts: 12,529
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  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,198
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    Or https://resolution.org.uk/ which is specific to family law
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
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