First meeting with Manager followed by supervision meeting & Disciplinary

intex310

Hi,

Just started a new job and been for 2 weeks. Its a third week running. Resigned from a permanent job to get in to this company as is my dream.

First week, started working with a temp and getting to know the place. to begin with, I didn't even know she was on temp. I felt gutted for that temp losing her job and was very sad and pity at the same time as I was taking her job. My line manager was on annual leave during my first week. Never met my manager in person to an any induction instead every instructions are emailed. Surprisingly, first with a 1900 words and second with a threat to discipline for not wearing a mask. Yes, a mask where I might have forgotten for split of a second during drinking or talking to someone over the phone. Cannot recall the exact situation but she remembers the date. Impressively, one of the date was on my first day! 

Apparently, she lodged a complaint citing my attitude towards learning. At one instance, 'I said thank you Darling' whilst she showed me something. Today I've been to a formal  meeting with my manager where I found out lots of other allegations made by her. I didn't deny saying 'Darling'. Rest are all cooked up by the manager. Never had seen or met my manager in my life. Looks like she's had a habit of playing a bully cards with few other employees in the past as well. It seems there exist a pattern after chatting with other people at work. 

I cannot achieve anything fighting with my line manager. I'm completely overwhelmed with anxiety and feel pressured at all times, work or home. I did submit myself to few colleagues how I felt and bullied.

Resign or fight? If I loose, bullying and harrassment charges going to be in my file with a word "Termination". 

Please can someone advise?

tacpot12

The way to turn your manager around is to make yourself valuable and easy to work with. Try complying with her wishes and throwing yourself into learning the job and excelling at it. A good worker will make their manager look good. Tell her you want to make a success of the job and that you are upset that you got off to a bad start and want to make amends. Ask her how you can do this and see what she says. 

I would ignore anything anyone else has told you about her. 

Undervalued

intex310 said:

I cannot achieve anything fighting with my line manager. I'm completely overwhelmed with anxiety and feel pressured at all times, work or home. I did submit myself to few colleagues how I felt and bullied.

Resign or fight? If I loose, bullying and harrassment charges going to be in my file with a word "Termination". 

Please can someone advise?

You have no legal protection against unfair dismissal (except if there were unlawful discrimination etc) due to your short period of employment. So, unless you believe that there is any realistic prospect of the firm siding with you over this manager any fight will be futile. 

Regarding a reference, they can say whatever they like as long as it is true and not deliberately misleading. Some firms have a policy of only giving the most basic of reference but many are more forthcoming. Then of course there is the informal grapevine that exists in most fields.

Sorry but that is a realistic assessment of the situation.

intex310

Thank you all for you inputs. 

Can I submit resignation and call sick? Just needed to buy a week's time for pay.

Undervalued

intex310 said:

Thank you all for you inputs. 

Can I submit resignation and call sick? Just needed to buy a week's time for pay.

You can but the firm could refuse to pay even SSP if they had reasonable grounds to think the sickness was not genuine.

I would strongly suggest seeing or at least speaking to your doctor. They might refuse to issues a "fit note" as you can self certify for seven days but at least there would be something on record in the event that the firm are difficult.

Any company sick pay "entitlement" will almost certainly be discretionary, so they are unlikely to pay that. No SSP is payable for the first three days of illness.

Marvel1

Jillanddy said:

I'm sorry,  but if you called any member of staff,  never mind your manager,  "darling", in most places I have ever worked,  you would be lucky to not be in a disciplinary. It is entirely inappropriate and patronising language in a workplace. So,  in summary,  you are instructed to wear a mask in your workplace and there have been occasions you haven't done so. You have spoken to your manager inappropriately. And you have been talking about your manager,  behind  her back, to your colleagues (don't think for one minute that she doesn't know - someone will have told her). And you managed to wrack up this outstanding summary in three weeks! If you don't think that there is some merit to concerns that you admit happened, I do wonder the extent to which you may simply be oblivious to the other complaints, rather than innocent of them. 

This is a fight you won't win. In your next job,  I would suggest you reconsider your approach to people in the workplace. 

Curious how to wear a mask and drink?


OP:
The 'darling' word was a big stand out for me and definately  a no.

Hate to say but under 2 years, they can dismiss you for no reason  and they possibly will.

The best people to talk about your manager how much they are a ...... is your family or friends not work colleagues.

Giblets

Surprised they have made it an official disciplinary action at this point, would have thought a quiet word would have sufficed. 

We’re HR involved in the disciplinary meeting?! They should have followed the ACAS code, if not might be worth discussing with Them, and explaining how you feel. But it will depend on the organisation, some HR are quite good and others just do managements bidding 

eamon

I can recall a colleague calling our line manager (female) "sweetheart!". Cringeworthy stuff. Fortunately the manager was sufficiently versed in old school vernacular not to make a fuss over it.

But this is 2022 and using terms of endearment in the workplace to bosses/colleagues is rightly frowned upon.

johnnymorrison66

It sounds like you are under a lot of stress. It’s important if you really want to keep ypirjob and are willing to improve your performance that you make urgent contact with Human Resources. Explain that you received no proper induction or training for the role and that you felt overwhelmed and had no access to your manager who was away. You said you had sympathy for the temp that would lose her role because of your new position, this informs me that their is no malice in you, and it’s likely your ‘ Darling’ remark was a clumsy attempt at being friendly, although you appear now to recognise this was not professional. Ask for a second chance and offer to write a formal apology to the person you called ‘Darling’. If I get called darling by a lady in the canteen whilst I’m ordering food, I don’t demand to see her manager and insist she be sacked, so I think it would be ridiculous to suggest this is a firing event. But you need some instruction in appropriate language at work. Many people have only just returned to the workplace, rules on mask wearing have changed frequently and you have only just started working in this new environment. It is understandable that you may have inadvertently had a momentary lapse of concentration. Above all be willing to listen to improve your performance. Ask for that second chance and get the induction into the role you wish to make a success of. I wish you the best of luck.

Undervalued

Giblets said:

Surprised they have made it an official disciplinary action at this point, would have thought a quiet word would have sufficed. 

We’re HR involved in the disciplinary meeting?! They should have followed the ACAS code, if not might be worth discussing with Them, and explaining how you feel. But it will depend on the organisation, some HR are quite good and others just do managements bidding 

They should have followed a fair process and the ACAS guidelines are one way of doing so - but not the only way. The days of having to follow a laid down statutory procedure are long gone.

In any case it is almost certainly a moot point as, under these circumstances, there is unlikely to be any useful legal redress.

intex310

Thanks all.

Just handed in my resignation with immediate effect and the manager accepted it straight away. Sad I had to leave my dream job but I feel free. I can breathe now. Looking forward to get a job again. Should I mention my 3 weeks at this work? Would I get a reference good/bad?