It's getting tough out there. Feeling the pinch?

Brie

No kids here, more by chance rather than planning it that way.  My mom tried to guilt me and then started sending me random articles about IVF etc which I thought a tad bizarre.  I didn't bother to respond and she eventually stopped.  

Cats and wine for me please!

Northern_Tribe

I have a larger than average family.  At times things were very difficult financially but I wish circumstances had been different and I could have had more children. I now have grandchildren which is a great joy. I agree that some people feel free to ask the most impertinent questions such as -  Have you ever heard of contraception?  It seems like people still feel free to criticise women who they think have too few or too many children.

Yes children are expensive and I like books, wine and cats, but, for me, nothing is better than a child.

ladyholly

My grandaughter has just split up with her boyfriend and her other Grandmother is complaining because she wants to see her great grandchildren. She is in her 60s and our grandaughter is 20 and has no intention of having children yet!

QueenJess

Wow, lots of topics going on here! On the subject of children, I would never ask anyone as they could want them but not be able to have them or not want them - either way it would be irritating to them. I think I always knew I wanted them, but wasn’t totally sure. I thought about looking back on my life whether I would regret not having any and decided that for me I would. I then promptly had DS!

I absolutely love books too and have a whole wall of them in my house. I am loving introducing DS to books. I just finished reading him Roald Dahl’s Georges Marvellous Medicine. He loved it and was giggling at the fantastic language in there.

I hate people asking what I do as much as I used to hate people asking about my degree as both were an absolute conversation killer. You got “oh” and then they can never think of anything to say. I find other people’s jobs quite interesting though and someone I spoke to recently volunteered that they worked for Lego. I hate to bite my tongue a bit as I was so excited and really wanted to ask a million questions, but I didn’t want to annoy him!

otb666

i used a 30 degree wash and 30 minute wash today and was very impressed with results I normally do 150 min wash at 40 degrees.  The clothes did come out wetter but fine as able to line dry in the summer. 

I think as long as the kids are wanted its fine.  Unfortunately my dad had a lot of children just to show he could and has never been interested in us especially the girls

Katiehound

otb666 said:

i used a 30 degree wash and 30 minute wash today and was very impressed with results I normally do 150 min wash at 40 degrees.  The clothes did come out wetter but fine as able to line dry in the summer. 

 

When I use the 30 min wash I then use the spin facility on the fastest spin programme- 12 mins. It must use very little power as my solar panels are fully on during that time (rather than when heating the machine)

monnagran

Crashing in uninvited................

I don't think anyone should be allowed to have babies until they have lived for a year with hormone-fuelled teenagers.  Nature tricks you when it delivers those delicious little bundles.  They grow!

Not that I would part with mine now, I adopted 2 sons and love them to bits, but when I look at them I don't see 2 50+ middle1aged men, I see cheeky little boys.

As for having children to look after you in old age???
Although my eldest did assure me that I would never, never be put into a home, he would live with me and look after me himself.
He would too.
I went away and doubled up on my vitamins.

Back to the topic.  I'll leave you in peace.

EssexHebridean

I’ve pretty much always known I didn’t want kids - MrEH meanwhile always simply assumed he would - but when he thought about the idea realised he didn’t actually want them, he’d just taken for granted that any future partner probably would! Being upfront about not wanting children can lead to some truly vile responses though - I’ve been called selfish (for NOT bringing a child into the world for the wrong reasons, presumably), unnatural, told smugly “oh you’ll regret that once you’re too old to have them” (spoiler alert - I don’t), told that “I can’t imagine any woman hating children” (I don’t, and they tend to like me too - I adore our niece and nephew and particularly as small children they always made a beeline for me whenever I was about). Two of the most bizarre comments were being asked by an aunt whether I felt bothered that I was depriving my parents of grandchildren, and my personal favourite the person who asked in astonishment “who will take care of you when you’re old?” My response to that last was to ask if her children were aware that was her driving reason for having them…it went a bit quiet at that point! 😂 I gather things are a bit better now and people are more inclined to think, butI suspect there are still many out there who consider that a childless woman is an open target for scorn and spite! 

I can confirm that LL stayfresh certainly ARE very much reusable - I’ve just taken one out of use after probably several years because it’s no longer effective - we tend to have quite a few in rotation at any one time. I used to buy both sizes but realised a while ago that there’s little point - might as well buy the big ones and use them for everything! 

YoungBlueEyes

When I eventually got my feet under me and started going out again, a few guys expressed interest. Some of them showed serious interest, but I wasn't there yet. I picked himself because he always knew he didn't want children, he has nieces and that's enough for him. 

I've had a lot of the same conversations EssexHebridean, and I completely agree that some people can be just awful.   All the usual 'you'll regret it when you're older', 'someone to look after you', 'no greater joy in the world', 'just have some, I guarantee you'll want them when you've had them' etc etc. My favourite was someone (on learning that I'd been married but didn't have kids) asked me "What's wrong with you?!" That one really got to me. She was so...... emphatic. 

Edit: My response was usually "there's too many children in the world, we're very over-stocked on ourselves" (thanks Dylan Moran).

Agree about kids loving me too. Anyone up to about age 10 seems to think I'm the best thing on 2 legs. I''m like a magnet ha haa!  And cats. There's a cat comes in my garden - he slides under my gate, spends a couple of seconds weighing me up, then parks itself on my feet/lap and promptly goes to sleep.  When I have to shoo it off because it's too goddamn hot, it looks at me with absolute disdain.  Which is not something a dog would ever do! 

danjackson2021

My partner and both have had to do DRO and or bankruptcy over 6 years again and again recently. Now once again we have council tax bailiffs calling round saying we owe a couple of thousands and that’s since the last balance got wiped 

we also have the utilities company calling trying to fit prepay meters but we won’t let them in without a warrant with a wet signature from a judge which they will never be able to get. They claim it’s thousands our in unpaid bills again since the last time the balance was wiled


the thing is our benefits don’t even cover food and necessities, I explain that to the bailiffs everytime they call but they just keep calling back I never open the door


these days the bailiffs can’t do anything anyway we live in rented house which the LL is trying to get a possession order and we have no assets 

we both have large credit card balances which we are just paying the bare minimum every month

i suppose we are the same as the government just going further into debt with no hope of ever being able to pay it back