It's getting tough out there. Feeling the pinch?

Brie

Jellytotts said:

I leave the skin on the butternut squash, once blitzed you don't know it's there.  I leave it on for roasting too, I love the crispy edges.

Great to know @Jellytotts - I hate the faff of trying to peel squash to soup.

I leave the  squash mostly intact for roasting - just cut in half and scoop out the seeds and stringy bits.  (seeds can also be roasted if you can bother to clean them up - baking tray, oil, salt)

And when the squash is cooked I eat the skin as is.  Never a problem with a butternut.  Other squashes are less forgiving.

Brambling

-taff said:

timehastoldme said:

I ummed and aahed about having children before concluding that it wasn't for me (looks hard and expensive). Tentatively discussed with husband and he also emphatically agreed it looked hard and he wasn't all that keen so we decided to stick with dogs and books.

Did take till my mid 30's to be confident in that certainty. There's a bit of a societal expectation for babies. Kept being asked when I was going to start, or that I'd regret it if I didn't etc etc. No regrets so far. Lots of books. 

Yeah....I realised the only reason I'd be having children would be to look after me in my dotage so that was a total non starter..Plus...books man! books!

There is a family history (sister, aunt & great aunt) who have a medical condition which meant they were unable to have children however i made the choice not to have them and my mother unsuccessfully tried to make me feel guilty for it.  She would often ask me who was going to look after me in my old age! to which i would just say 'thanks' and was that the reason she had 7 of us! I would also comment but what if i had only sons seeing how often you see my brother! 

Books for me too

London_1

TheAble said:

Floss said:

But for those younger folk for whom conception might be difficult for medical reasons, it can be upsetting to be asked on their wedding day "when are you starting a family?". There is an assumption that everyone can have children which isn't always the case.

 

"What do you do for a living?" is another one that should also be avoided as well in my view,  

I remember my youngest DD being asked what she liked best at school by a visittor  to which she replied  very quietly 
"Going home to my Mum " bless he she is now 53 and still likes to be with me as well as we are very alike  
JackieO xx

leftatthetrafficlights

I find it stunning that anyone feels they have a right to ask uninvited personal questions about kids/careers etc - if they came to your house would they root through your personal items??!! 😡 To me it's just incredibly discourteous and frankly none of their business! 

I have children and grandchildren (happy to volunteer that info! 😉) and have family members who do not - we all made choices that were right for us and are happy with the choices we made decades on - even though I frequently thought life would be considerably easier if I had stuck with dogs!! 😉😂😂😂

Floss

leftatthetrafficlights said:

I find it stunning that anyone feels they have a right to ask uninvited personal questions about kids/careers etc - if they came to your house would they root through your personal items??!! 😡 To me it's just incredibly discourteous and frankly none of their business! 

But it happens, even in 2022.

Spendless

Brambling said:

-taff said:

timehastoldme said:

I ummed and aahed about having children before concluding that it wasn't for me (looks hard and expensive). Tentatively discussed with husband and he also emphatically agreed it looked hard and he wasn't all that keen so we decided to stick with dogs and books.

Did take till my mid 30's to be confident in that certainty. There's a bit of a societal expectation for babies. Kept being asked when I was going to start, or that I'd regret it if I didn't etc etc. No regrets so far. Lots of books. 

Yeah....I realised the only reason I'd be having children would be to look after me in my dotage so that was a total non starter..Plus...books man! books!

There is a family history (sister, aunt & great aunt) who have a medical condition which meant they were unable to have children however i made the choice not to have them and my mother unsuccessfully tried to make me feel guilty for.  She would often ask me who was going to look after me in my old age! to which would get a thanks from me for the reason she had 7 of us I would also comment but what if they are sons seeing how often you see my brother! 

Books for me too

I never understand the 'who will look after you in old age' question. I mean I have 2 kids they could live miles from me, emigrate or and   I hope they don't but they could die before me or becomes invalids themselves. No guarantees with that.

Kantankrus_Mare

My children are grown up and aged 27 and 28 so at the age when everyone assumes you are or will become a grand parent. My son, the eldest,  keeps saying he doesnt want children as he likes his freedom too much but he is in a relatively new relationship and I understand has plenty of time to change his mind. My daughter is in a same sex relationship and whilst there are ways and means, I cant see it happening there either. I would never pressure either of them to reproduce. If it happens it happens but I think others think Im missing out on so much as I dont have grand children. We have pretty full lives with working, an allotment, going to the gym and travelling, not quite sure Id fit grandchildren in 
We got back off holiday yesterday and first thing this morning I nipped to the allotment to check on progress. My 4 strawberry beds are producing tons of fruit which my daughter has been picking whilst we have been away. Will have lots for the freezer and will have a go at jam making. The others that are frozen get used throughout the year for smoothies or as ice in a pink gin and tonic. Might be a few Eton mess along the way too! We have lots of potatoes in the cupboard from before we went away and I need to use them before they start going off. Might look at a potato and onion pie which Ive never made before. Everything else at the allotment is coming on and I really want to try this year to not wast any produce so my second freezer will be getting switched on at some point. Have also got some spring onions at the plot that are still in from last year and rather big. Need to think what I can do with them.
Back to work tomorrow so back to reality and saving some money where we can.

Bluegreen143

Ah “what do you do” - used to be awkward to answer as a SAHM as inevitably people gave you a funny look 😒 and even now I have a good career I find it a funny question - I’m not passionate about my job - it just pays the bills. I don’t feel like talking about my job really helps anyone understand me tbh. “What do you do” - cook and read and knit and garden and hang out in pubs and work out and nurture my children and oh, I do my job on the side to pay for all the rest” 😅

euronorris

I feel like there is never a 'correct' answer to 'what do you do'. If you're a sahm/sahd, some people think you're lazy (far from it!), if you've got a good career some people think you're selfish, if you're part time, you still can't win. D**ned if you and d**ned if you don't. 

It's the same with having/not having kids. Or getting married. Someone has always got something negative to say about whatever choice you have made (or even when it's outside of your control).

Your allotment sounds wonderful @Kantankrus_Mare. I check on my garden far too often. I'm itching to harvest the elephant garlic, but have another week or two yet I think.

OrkneyStar

We have one son, and we are happy with that. I was never that 'into' babies the way some people just seem to light up around any baby, but I have enjoyed motherhood so far. We are at the teen stage just now, and that comes with it's own set of unique challenges, as I am sure some of you can relate. I think there are plusses and minuses to having children or being child free - each person/couple needs to decide for themselves which plusses and minuses apply to them, and what the best way forward is. If having lots of children works for you, and you have the time/energy/finances to care for them, great. If you prefer a smaller family, and feel you have the time/energy/finances to support that, also great. If you don't want any kids, great too. I do feel for those who would like to have had a family, but for various reasons could not/cannot, and I have always tried to avoid 'are you having kids?' sort of questions. Some folk just cannot help themselves asking - it's bad enough if you have chosen not to have any kids, but if you desperately want them and cannot it must be heart breaking being asked! Taking it back to old style money saving, kids ARE expensive, more so in the teen years I'd say (yes babies need stuff, but much of that can be second hand or even borrowed - a 2 year old doesn't care if his clothes are second hand, teenagers are not so keen!). We do make it clear to DS though, that while he can have brands and nice things, he also has to learn to save and be wise with his money - he is getting there I think. With one we can afford to spend a little more on him than if we had 2 or 3, so he's lucky in that regard!