What's a reasonable amount....

born_again

Thriftking said:

So my wife is not working and I have taken on full responsibility for bills, mortgage the running of two cars and the costs associated with our pet.

We had a discussion about how much she felt she needed for the month to cover food for the two of us and her mobile phone bill and a few other bits. I suggested £500. Her response was that it was loads and "she'd easy be able to save on that amount"

Two weeks later she's run out and I've been stung for the shopping for the last three weeks, a tank of fuel and a couple of other bits.

She was self employed but has stopped working as we are having a baby. She is not eligible for maternity pay schemes. I don't want to be unrealistic in the amount we budget but being as my wage is paying for everything I need to be reasonably thrifty and budget well.

Thoughts please

Ask her where the money went? If she has nothing to hide she will tell you.
Has she been for Coffee with friends everyday?

Has baby arrived or is she still pregnant? 

Clearly if the £500 went on food then you would have realised by what was on your plate each night.

Perhaps let everything come out of the joint account, as it will let you see where the money is going. It makes no difference who earns the money you are a couple. 

EssexHebridean

OK - cutting through the judgement around your terminology, you need to sit down together with a years worth of bank statements and card bills and establish yourselves a proper household budget. You also need to do it soon - before your new arrival...well, arrives! 

You may find the link to the SOA calculator in my signature is helpful as it will prompt you to think about all the categories. Go through everything, being sure not to forget the quarterly or annual spends. Once it is all completed it will give you a monthly figure that should remain when everything else has gone out - if you don't have that figure then it;s time to start tracking spends more closely and thinking about where it might have gone - multiply the surplus figure by 12 to find out how much you may be "losing" over a year - £175 doesn't sound like a huge figure on its own perhaps but if that amount is being "lost" by being frittered each month then that's over £2000 a year! 

£350 a month is an extremely decent sum for two people to eat from - we spend around half that and we certainly don't penny pinch. We choose free range eggs and chicken and meat usually comes from farmers markets or "farm gate" for the quality and provenance. we also have a fortnightly veg box delivered which costs a little more than buying i the supermarket would do but works for us. We do however opt for value ranges and "wonky" fruit and veg where it is as good as the next option up - so rice and pasta are always value (20p spaghetti tastes exactly the same as 50p spaghetti, oddly enough!) and for the relatively few branded items we purchase they are ALWAYS bought on special offer. Knowing what your "target price" is for certain things can be helpful - so unit prices for things like loo rolls, kitchen rolls and crisps, and possibly "per 100g" prices for things like coffee. Meal planning and ensuring that food waste doesn't happen keeps costs lower as well. 

Remember when budgeting that you do both need some personal spending money as well - so account for that. 

Different couples work their money out differently - some use a single account for everything, others have a personal account each and use a joint account just for bills and general household expenses. there's no right or wrong - the key is that what works for you works for BOTH of you, and that financial decision making is shared.