What's a reasonable amount....

Zanderman

Thriftking said:

cx6 said:

For me, and I emphasise it is only my opinion, you would be better off budgeting together and not 'I pay this - she pays that'

The phrase you used ' I've been stung for the shopping for the last three weeks' surprised me in a married couple expecting a baby.

  

I don't understand the alternative. 

My wife has no income so indirectly I'm paying for everything. We are just trying to establish reasonable budgets for things. We sat and agreed £500 would be sufficient and for a month's worth of groceries 

I allocated my finances accordingly and yes I'm sorry the phrase surprised you but I have had to find another £300 in a budget that's already very stretched from the purchase of baby things and decorating a nursery.

I think the point being made is that it is odd, certainly to many people, for one person in a marriage to stress how they are paying for everything. It's your phrases 'I'm paying' and 'I'm being stung' and 'my finances' that are the issue. Not we and our.

You're married and you have a household income to cover two adults, an expected baby and all bills.  Who earns that income is, arguably, irrelevant.  Many people take the approach that, when married (or even just co-habiting), household income is completely shared.  Perhaps with a payment out (of a joint account) each month into individual accounts for individual stuff - clothes etc).

Your mileage may differ!

You still need to work out budgets though.

Thriftking

We have a joint account that covers the payments and bills. My other half did not want to pay into a joint account so we have the model that we have our own money and the joint account is for the management of bills or joint expenses.

One income was greater than another so the bias of how much was paid into this joint account has been adjusted a few times to compensate. Now it is adjusted to the level that one person is fully funding it.

Maybe the tone of my post has made me sound like a horrible selfish idiot but I just was after an insight into how other couples in similar situation manage expenses. 

The figure of £500 per month was based upon a £20 phone bill. £350 on groceries and the remaining £130 as contingency.

We shop at Aldi and the dog has a subscription for tails which comes via mail order so his expenses are budgeted/accounted for elsewhere.

noh

There are two of us. I do the food shopping using Lidl. Im not trying to cut the bill to minimum so just buy what we need including wine and dog food.
I use the Lidl Plus app which gives you a digital receipt therefore I can see a history of our spend.
We are spending on average £80 a week on food wine and household products.
Your estimate of £500 per month should be plenty.

sheramber

 where did the overspend come in.
make a list of what was spent and on what
phone bill  ?
groceries wk1, wk2 etc  ?

Contingencies  ?

Where did she spend more than had been allocated?

Then look at why more than the allocated amount was spent.

Was that justified? Maybe as one off purchase for the baby etc

It looks as if when you had two incomes spending didn't  need to be thought about. Now you are on one income you both need to decide what you can spend on and how much.

Set a weekly amount for groceries and your wife has to stick to it.  Ask herself before putting it in the trolley- do we really need that?
Can I buy a cheaper brand?
Is there anything on special offer?

Shop once a week and stay away from shops for the rest of the week to prevent being tempted to buy extras.

Any excess left one week can be put aside and be available for any extras another week.

I have had to find another £300 in a budget that's already very stretched 

correction, you and your wife have to work together to find that money from elsewhere in the budget.

It is not your responsibility alone, it is a joint responsibility.

andyhicks88

So, just to get this straight so I'm not misreading it.

A budget has been set of £500 for a months worth of food shopping, mobile phone bill and any extras. In the end you ended up paying for 3 weeks of shopping yourself and other bits and bobs? So basically that budget lasted for a week? I'd not be asking if that budget is enough, I'd be asking quite what it's being spent on because it doesn't seem to be the actual basics it was set up for, or at the very least, not in the most sensible manner.

Ebe_Scrooge

Thriftking said:

we have the model that we have our own money and the joint account is for the management of bills or joint expenses.

Thriftking said:

 but I just was after an insight into how other couples in similar situation manage expenses.

I'm not judging you in any way, shape or form - how you choose to manage your finances is a completely private affair.  But if you're after opinions of how other couples sort it out, I will admit I find your approach somewhat strange.  In our household everything is joint.  It doesn't matter who earns what - everything goes into a joint account, all bills, mortgage, etc. get paid from there.

Not sure if it makes a difference, but we've been married a long time, have 3 kids, and trust each other totally.  We both know what our monthly income and expenses are, roughly how much spare we have available for "fun money" each month.  And neither of us would dream of going and splashing out on something without asking the other person first - even if it's something we can  comfortably afford.

Like I say, it's entirely up to you how you arrange your finances - but you did ask for opinions :-)

jimjames

Thriftking said:

cx6 said:

For me, and I emphasise it is only my opinion, you would be better off budgeting together and not 'I pay this - she pays that'

The phrase you used ' I've been stung for the shopping for the last three weeks' surprised me in a married couple expecting a baby.

  

I don't understand the alternative. 

My wife has no income so indirectly I'm paying for everything. We are just trying to establish reasonable budgets for things. We sat and agreed £500 would be sufficient and for a month's worth of groceries 

I allocated my finances accordingly and yes I'm sorry the phrase surprised you but I have had to find another £300 in a budget that's already very stretched from the purchase of baby things and decorating a nursery.

How much were you paying for groceries beforehand? I don't mean you personally but the bill. If it was £100 a week then why has it increased? If it was £150 a month before then it's not surprising it's breached the £500. Mobile phone should be around £10 per month if you get a good SIM only deal, obviously you know what that amount is as it should be fixed.

EDIT - just seen your previous post. If your budget was £350 for groceries how was that spent in a week? You really need to see what the spending is going on, not in a way that accuses your wife but so you can understand budgets going forward.

warby68

From 2 incomes to 1 is hard especially if there hasn't been any money put to one side for this period and you haven't done a lot of preparation before it happened.

I'd go back through your statements as best you can and find out what you usually spend on the various categories and start from there. See what's left after the non-negotiable/fixed items and allocate that out. You can use an online supermarket basket to 'practice' what you can get for your new budget etc.

If she spent £500 on groceries in less than 2 weeks obviously that needs looking into as it isn't affordable. Your £350 sounds perfectly reasonable for 2 people, neither frugal nor extravagant.

Make sure you look at the budget together as its a big change and might take quite a bit of adjustment. If your wife was reluctant to have joint finances and had her own income, it might be that you just don't know what each other's spends are fully. She might have covered other things from that £500.

[Deleted User]

I live with my other half, no kids, we don't look to be frugal on food/shopping and £90-£110 a week is normal at Sainsbury's

If I was spending £150 a week I'd be buying a LOT of stuff that was way above ordinary but that could well be nappies and baby products which you hadn't factored in before?

enthusiasticsaver

Thriftking said:

We have a joint account that covers the payments and bills. My other half did not want to pay into a joint account so we have the model that we have our own money and the joint account is for the management of bills or joint expenses.

One income was greater than another so the bias of how much was paid into this joint account has been adjusted a few times to compensate. Now it is adjusted to the level that one person is fully funding it.

Maybe the tone of my post has made me sound like a horrible selfish idiot but I just was after an insight into how other couples in similar situation manage expenses. 

The figure of £500 per month was based upon a £20 phone bill. £350 on groceries and the remaining £130 as contingency.

We shop at Aldi and the dog has a subscription for tails which comes via mail order so his expenses are budgeted/accounted for elsewhere.

If you shop in Aldi and the pet food is paid for through the joint account then £350 sounds a lot for two adults. The biggest issue is how much can you afford to pay for groceries and what were you paying before as surely it should not be more than that beyond baby expenses. 

We have been in your situation with just one income coming in when we had young children and after that my husband worked full time and I worked part time until the children were older.  Similarly my husband retired before me so my income was larger than his pension initially until I retired so there has been disparity in incomes really since we had children. The way we sorted our finances was a joint account for all income and joint expenditure.  Spending money for each of us was the same into personal accounts. Why did your partner not want joint finances? I think there needs to be a conversation as to what outgoings she has.  Does she have any debt she is servicing on no income other than the £500.