17 year old wants to leave college course

Kezzanetty

poppy12345 said:

It sounds like to me that he's struggling with some health conditions related to metal health. I agree with the above that his college should be supporting him, not telling him about his grade but they can't do this if someone doesn't tell them what's going on. When you speak to them tomorrow, i'd advise you to be honest about his struggles and ask them for more support.

Thank you, I don’t want him to struggle on just because of our money situation. I just want him to have a future.  He’s fed up of hearing ‘he’s a lovely Lad but..’ 

poppy12345

Kezzanetty said:

poppy12345 said:

It sounds like to me that he's struggling with some health conditions related to metal health. I agree with the above that his college should be supporting him, not telling him about his grade but they can't do this if someone doesn't tell them what's going on. When you speak to them tomorrow, i'd advise you to be honest about his struggles and ask them for more support.

  He’s fed up of hearing ‘he’s a lovely Lad but..’ 

I totally get that. I hope you get some answers tomorrow.

Chris_English

Is it possible / likely that the tutor doesn't know that he plans to try another course next year? If he doesn't it's probably worth trying to explain the situation; that he knows he's bitten off more than he can chew here, and that he's intending to fix it by a change of direction but at the same college.

Or, as another option (as we're not far into this year at all); could he switch to the other course now? College courses aren;t particuklarly onerous in terms of time (nothing like a full-time job) so if he switches to something that he'd enjoy more and be better at he may well find that he's both able to manage the work and catch-up on the bits that he;s missed.

Spending another eight months on a subject that he doesn't like, that he;s failing at, and that he knows he's going to leave doesn't sound like much fun.

400ixl

Maybe looking at apprenticeships in fields where the work is less technical and more practical. Something which is day release to college to get a qualification, but gains the experience day to day in doing the job.

The college should be able to help with this and it would keep him in an education supported environment.

Spendless

With him being 18 in the summer, is this already the 2nd year of a 2 year course? You will need to make plans financially for what you do once he does leave education (allowing for this may happen earlier than you anticipated). Even with a full time job he may not earn enough to contribute the same as what the loss is, you probably could do with working it hypothetically out now basing on  a f-time min wage job for an 18yo.

I agree that the tutor is trying to give a cop out and it needs asking what are they doing to support your son. What month is the course due to finish? Wondering if he can just manage even if he's disliking it. Is it a course where you can help him at home with it, see if that improves anything

theoretica

If he might also need more time on the course he wants to do next year, is there a way he could start it early somehow?

Kezzanetty

Yes this is year 2 of his course, year one was on and off with lockdowns. In hindsight he could have started a different course in September but there we go.  He said he didn’t want to let us down and tell us he was struggling.  He is due to take as practical test in March with the course finishing in may/June.  

I’m certainly not expecting him to make up what we will lose, my MIL did that to my husband and took most of his first wages.  The original plan was that while he was planning to spend the next 18 months in education we would use this time for my husband to do some online courses to hopefully find a better job with more hours.  We have had a chat and said that if he really can’t cope with it then he will have to get a job and we will just tighten our belts until hubs is more qualified and able tournaments more money.

thank you all for your kind words.  I’m hoping that he is having a teenage drama and the tutor was just using it as an incentive to try harder! Guess I will find out tomorrow.  I will write down a few points and questions I have for them! 

MalMonroe

Kezzanetty said:

So my 17 year old is getting poor grades at college.  He tries so hard but it’s looking like this isn’t the career for him.  His plan was to struggle to the end of the year and try a new course in September however his tutor has suggested he may throw him off the course due to low grades.  If this happens would we lose the child eminent of UC and child benefit? I’m guessing we do.  My husband has poor mental health and only works part time.  We are very worried about our sons future but also about money in the meantime.  

Hi, I really am disgusted to hear about that tutor. Wherever a student is studying there should be help available for them if they are struggling. For his tutor so say such a thing to your son is wrong. There should have been discussions with you, your son and the person in charge of student welfare, as mentioned by Grumpy_chap, above. Teaching establishments are supposed to offer all round care and not say such awful things like your son could be thrown off the course. I doubt that tutor has such authority anyway.

It is obvious that the course he's on isn't suiting your son and someone at the college should have picked that up and discussed it with him well before now. The poor lad is probably trying his very best.

It does seem as if he is suffering from mental issues, though and your GP could possibly help as the first port of call.

Please try not to pressurise your poor boy with worries about money though. It does sound as if he's got enough on his plate already.

And I hope the tutor can help tomorrow, although I'd be looking to speak to someone with a bit more seniority and authority in order to get some better all-round support for my child, if it were me. 

Kezzanetty

Just had the online meeting with his tutor and he is allowing my son to come in an extra afternoon to do some practical practice and he is going to leave the project he is stuck on in hope he can move on and come back to it later.  I think the tutor was just trying to scare the kids into trying harder!!  It annoys me that my son had been stuck for months and nothing was said to him. 

He seams much happier and feels that all is not lost! 

Thank you everyone for your help in keeping a mum calm and stop me over reacting! Xx