Takeaways are 'Taking Away' our income

mr_stripey

flipflopflo said:

When we get paid into the joint account then I put lump of money into the bills account (rent, utilities, council tax, debt repayment etc ), a lump goes to a savings account for the emergency fund, some to the ISAs, a lump goes to the car account, holiday account, insurances account, a lump to the entertainment account, Christmas account, presents account, children's miscellaneous account ( this covers school uniforms, trips etc. haircuts, clothes etc.). Some goes in the health account for opticians, dentists and prescriptions. I’ve probably got a couple of other pots but I can’t think of what they are at the moment. 

Also my husband and I have our own personal accounts and a sum is transferred to those for us to pay our own personal bills from ( phone, hair, clothes, lunch out with friends, own savings etc.) We have the same amount each and that is money with which we can do what we want with.  

What is left in the joint account is for food and over payment of debt. 

I use YNAB (You Need A Budget) to allocate my money in a similar way you describe - basically envelope budgeting but with a nice interface and handy reports. So I might allocate £50 a month to the category "Take Away", each time I spend I enter the transaction in that category, and the amount to spend reduces accordingly.

Works for me as it lets me see exactly how much I'm spending and helps stops me going over budget on junk!

EssexHebridean

**Not directed at anyone in particular**

Could I gently ask that people are mindful of the way they refer to weight/food on here? MSE and its forum is supposed to be inclusive to all - and that should include those with eating disorders and differing body shapes who may well be severely triggered by seeing some of the language being used on this thread (and plentifully elsewhere on the forums also, sadly). No specifics, and no need for any responses to this paragraph either, but perhaps posters could just have a little think about the terminology they have used and ask themselves if they would be happy if a loved one of theirs with a history of issues around food/eating/weight was to be confronted with that form of wording. Thank you!  

EssexHebridean

We have a massive imbalance on incomes in my house too - similar in fact to the sort of level you describe OP. We've worked things out so that he gets a lump more than I do, but it's not proportionate - I would have been happy if it was but he didn't want it that way, and he acknowledges that in our case I do much more of the day to day life-admin that keeps the wheels on the household and that in itself is worth as much as the direct financial contribution. That personal spending money is really important though - and also clearly delineates that personal discretionary spending does NOT come from joint income that is needed for bills, longer term savings etc.  I do think this is something that you need to consider. 

hugheskevi

A few thoughts based on my own experiences:

• Coming at things from a health rather than financial perspective may be far more powerful. If you have put a lot of effort into running, cycling, swimming or whatever exercise you prefer, you are less likely to want to throw away the gains via poor nutrition and so take-aways become unattractive. Setting exercise goals to work toward may therefore be very beneficial. As a starter, maybe have a family parkrun to see if fitness is where it should be. If not, improve things.
• Always make sure an easy and healthy alternative is readily available - batch cook a lot of healthy food that can be frozen. Personally I cook about 14 portions of chilli at a time to freeze, which takes under an hour. Then I just cook some quinoa and reheat the chilli which takes under 10 minutes.
• Introduce a rule that if you must have a takeaway, you will collect it yourself and not have it delivered. The time and effort this involves will make it less attractive. Also walk or cycle to collect it for extra exercise to partially offset what you are about to do to yourself 
• If you want something a bit more dramatic - go vegan! Slashes the amount of take-out food available dramatically (although this is changing rapidly, with a lot of vegan junk food now available).

Personally I find dealing with finances utterly routine and easy, but have a harder relationship with food. But with simple tweaks to change perspective like those above everything is kept fine, albeit with careful weight monitoring and shopping habits to ensure unhealthy food is kept at a distance and is very much the exception.

stymied

Fingersoffish said:

So we resigned to share whatever was left after debt and bills. I’m a saver and she’s a Spender so this isn’t ideal as it means we never manage to save anything at the end of a month.

Could this be the key? Share what’s left after debt and bills but include a greater repayment to the debt each month than just the minimum, and some labelled savings pots that can’t be disputed e.g. Christmas / Holidays / Car Maintenance and maybe Emergency Fund.

Once you’ve all got used to this you could think about expanding the pots to more categories until you have a full budget including either takeaways or personal ents & treats for both of you.

EssexHebridean

The key advantage to having specific budgeted amounts available for personal spending is that it may curtail your wife's tendency to just spend without giving thought to the debt situation - and indeed without giving thought to whether the money is actually available for spending if she sees her own physical account balance going down. You can still continue to save as you would but actually have a personal emergency fund as well as the joint one which  may be useful at some stage. 

satchmo1

Home Bargain do a fantastic "Indi Grand" saag curry sauce that's only about 70p, and makes a great base for our chicken and chick pea curry with added frozen spinach. DH cooks it every other week using 600g of chicken thighs (which are tastier and cheaper than fillets), and we split it into about 4 / 5 portions and freeze it, If you don't like chick peas, substitute cubed potatoes.

I have a two-week menu that's a guide for shopping. I don't stick rigidly to it, based on special offers and what we fancy. Aldi's special selection pizzas are our "go-to" when we don't fancy faffing about. £1.99 each instead of ££££ for takeaway pizza.

Whenever I make mashed potatoes I do at least double, usually 3x, and freeze the one or two portions on foil in circles the size of my casserole dish, so it can be plopped onto cooked savoury mince for cottage pie.

Mince is cooked with carrots, onions, celery, beef stock, and portioned and frozen. It can have tomato puree and italian spices added for bolognese, It can have tomato puree, chili powder and half a tin of kidney beans for a chili or for tacos (freeze the remaining kidney beans for next time).

The best dahl is soooo simple. Fry a chopped onion in oil, boil a full kettle, add the water with about 100g of red lentils with a teaspoon of turmeric and a stock cube. Bring to boil, then simmer until lentils are cooked and thickened (about 45 minutes). That makes about 10 portions which can be frozen. Microwave for 1 minute.

To go with the dahl and curry, bake a tortilla wrap or two on a baking tray in the oven for ... about 5 minutes each side ... until lightly browned. Let cool for 5 minutes then break into pieces into a bowl. 

CapricornLass

Actually, you could try making the pizza bases with the kids, help them shape them on the baking tray, spread some tomato puree on and then they could 'choose' their own topping for it and scatter it on themselves- just have four or five things that you know they like that they can choose from.  Pizza cooks quickly at a high temperature, and I've seen kids with their noses practically glued to the oven door watching their pizzas rise and cook.....

Purplelady65

If you spent £2k on takeaways and meals out last year but only 10% of the total was meals out that roughly equates to £150 per month on takeaways and £15 per month on a family meal out. As you say the family meals out are quality family time then they should probably stay in the budget. Re the takeaways could you set a budget of £50 per month on takeaways so that you’re not cutting them out completely. Then as OPs have outlined meal planning for the week is key, batch cooking, freezing etc so you’ve always got a nutritious meal in the freezer that you could quickly defrost and heat up. 

400ixl

Have you thought about a bank account where you can set up buckets for certain things and also have a debit card assigned to a bucket. Starling for example does this.

You could then set up one bucket for bills and assign all of the direct debits to come out of there. You could have one for takeaways and look at it as when it is spent its spent for the month. This might modify behaviour over time to make it last the month and you can adjust the amount downwards over time as well.

The other thing you could do is have a spends bucket for your other half and get a debit card which can only spend against that bucket. This would allow for a budget but without the need for oversight.