Takeaways are 'Taking Away' our income

kmcld2

I batch cook soups and dinners on my days off. Slow cookers are great for this. 

Have a look at this guy, I believe he used to work in a Chinese takeaway. Some lovely recipes on here.

https://youtube.com/channel/UCCgokDPHo27pO-HBCxqLmuA

mr_stripey

Fingersoffish said:

Hi All!

In 2021 we spent almost £2,000 on Takeaways and Meals out... Not only is this bad for our health (From 28in to a 36in waist in 6 years and approx 9st to 12st 8) it is around 5% of our income. A shocking statistic that could really help us tackle our large debt of £26,000

Late-night takeaways make up 90% of this and are the main problem over meals out which are generally quality family time. 

Reasons:

- 2x Fussy eating children
- Hectic lifestyle (often getting home late etc. and little time or energy for cooking)
- Busy weekends which include a 6-hour drive on a Friday and Sunday evening.
- Poor shopping habits 
- A wife who REALLY REALLY likes Chinese 
- A husband with terrible willpower when it comes to food 

I know you might be inclined to say 'You know the reasons, do something about it' but there must be other people in this situation!

definitely guilty of spending way too much on takeaways. 

I live alone and sometimes (well, quite often) fancy a takeaway and it's easy to get drawn into (so much choice at your fingertips) and easy to write it off as only £15 / £20, but as you say when you add it all up it is a lot of money!

I also found that sometimes after hyping myself up to order a fantastic mixed Madras from my local Indian, I would feel a great deal of regret afterwards. Bad choice, costing me money and making me fat just for the brief "high" of treating myself to a curry.

My YNAB (You Need A Budget) software tells me I spent an average of £85 a month last year on take aways (caveat - that does include having the odd McDonalds when the kids are staying over). It's a lot of money and although I can afford it, it doesn't make me feel any better about it.

I try to focus on the take away remorse I feel after I've consumed it knowing I would feel just as satisfied if I'd cooked myself something simple.

Fingersoffish

EssexHebridean said:

She either needs to get involved with the finances (ask her how she would cope with things if she's never BEEN involved if you dropped dead/went under a bus tomorrow - yes it's brutal, but sometimes brutal is needed) or she needs to accept that you are in control of those finances, and so what you say goes with regard to ordering takeaway etc. Do you both have your own spending money? If so one solution might be to suggest that if one of you wants a takeaway and the other is adamant that no, they will cook, then that takeaway for the party that wants it comes from their own spends, NOT the family budget. 

It is SO important that the finances in a household aren't only understood by one person - we've had people post on here previously in absolute pieces because a partner has ended up in hospital - or worse - and they literally have no idea how to access bank accounts, what various payments are for - it is unbelievably distressing for all parties and so easy to avoid. 

Can your ex meet you part way with the 8Y/O - it seems ludicrous that you're having to travel 500 miles in a weekend each time! 

If you can get to the root of the fussy eating then that might also help - although it may be best to choose your battles on that one and just focus on trying to deal with the eating habits of the one who is with you all the time as obviously what happens on the other 5 days of the week for 8Y/O is out of your control. Aside from anything else, teaching them now about how a balanced diet works will set them up for a far healthier future - something that both you and your wife should want to get behind! 

Start to view takeaways as a treat not a lifestyle. Maybe initially get the children to help choose whether you go for a meal as a family on a Saturday or you order a takeaway on the Saturday evening to enjoy at home, perhaps in front of a film that you've all agreed to watch? make it an either/or - "we can go to X and have lunch, or we can get a takeaway from Y for dinner - both not both - shall we vote on it?".  it's a great life lesson from them that you can't do "all the things" and that budgets play a part in the things you choose to do. 

I agree - I will Try and have that conversation. It does worry me that she knows nothing about our finances if anything were to happen to me. 

And no, we don’t have our ‘own’ money because it was a bone of contention due to me earning roughly 3x more. So we resigned to share whatever was left after debt and bills. I’m a saver and she’s a Spender so this isn’t ideal as it means we never manage to save anything at the end of a month.

in terms of my ex, unfortunately she doesn’t drive and I’ve been doing this for the past 7 years so it’s unlikely to change. I’ve come to accept it as a part of our weekly routines.

Getting the kids involved sounds great. Believe it or not I’m actually degree level educated in human biology and nutrition which makes this whole post even more bizarre! I know how bad this stuff is for all of us but I don’t do anything about it!! 

 

powerspowers

Good luck with talking to your partner!

I second fakeaway from supermarket as an an easy swap- give yourself a limit of say 2 a week and try to cook the rest of the time? We cut down on takeaways in the first lockdown - just stopped cold turkey. Now it’s a treat maybe once or twice a month with a few nights of fakeaway for when we’re worn out and craving something 

SusieT

Good luck with talking to your partner! 
If she is a spender and you a saver then to start her thinking of budgeting in a gentle rather than throwing her in at the deep end, it may be worth having an account each that is for personal spends, and also to give her a budget each week for groceries so that she has something to control and is not expected to grasp everything all in 1 go.  If you can start to plan what meals you want each week, then you can buy the ingredientd for those things in one shop, then just get a few things like milk, bread or veg that need to be fresh. As above, cook and freeze things at the weekend, perhaps involve the children so that it is a fun thing to do, and then in the week they get to choose what they want to eat from what they made. only 1 or 2 take away(s) a week, with the aim of reducing it to once and then only as a special treat so that you are not going cold turkey with it! Then with the batch cooking at weekends, the grocery bill should reduce as well as the late night fast food!

kimwp

I spent £600 on takeaways and junk food last year. Switching to longer working days and feeling a bit miserable with the neverending pandemic meant that hunger and the desire to treat myself to feel better overcame sense. It's worth understanding that when we're hungry, our brains make us focus on fatty, sugary foods more. I've put a block on the takeaway websites and make sure I have quick, tasty food in the house. Try your Chinese food store for sauces. I think though, if your partner is not on board and you do the cooking but work late, you are going to find it very difficult and might have to accept small changes. (Not to discourage you, but being realistic might result in less frustration)

BlueJ94

I don't have children so can't comment on that side of things. 

But, myself and my other half take it in turns each night to cook. Usually if the other person doesn't really like the food it's tough or make your own, simple. My OH is a fussy eater no veggies or fruit, only fries waffles it wedges

But I'll make him something he likes and I'll make myself whatever I enjoy, I know you say you don't have the time but if you want to change your ways you need to make the time. Meal plan, batch cook and freeze. Maybe takes 1 hour out of your day but it will take 10 minutes to defrost and cook on a busier day!

Also, don't limit yourself on take aways. Everyone enjoys one, but maybe limit how many you have a month, write down some takeaway ideas and toss them into a jar and then when it's takeaway night choose from the jar! 

ferreroreeses

I used to spend A LOT of money on takeaway as well but I decided one day that spending so much every month was not sustainable and would ultimately have an impact on my long term financial goals. Started sticking to a strict meal prep routine and haven't looked back since!

flipflopflo

When we get paid into the joint account then I put lump of money into the bills account (rent, utilities, council tax, debt repayment etc ), a lump goes to a savings account for the emergency fund, some to the ISAs, a lump goes to the car account, holiday account, insurances account, a lump to the entertainment account, Christmas account, presents account, children's miscellaneous account ( this covers school uniforms, trips etc. haircuts, clothes etc.). Some goes in the health account for opticians, dentists and prescriptions. I’ve probably got a couple of other pots but I can’t think of what they are at the moment. 

Also my husband and I have our own personal accounts and a sum is transferred to those for us to pay our own personal bills from ( phone, hair, clothes, lunch out with friends, own savings etc.) We have the same amount each and that is money with which we can do what we want with.  

What is left in the joint account is for food and over payment of debt. 

Kakiste

After I had my light bulb moment and cut my budgets to the bone I found that having 3 frozen pizzas always in the freezer worked very well for the days where you are knackered and can't be bothered to cook anything/are craving unhealthy foods/need dinner fast- meant that we could do an unhealthy quick dinner but know that we only spent £4 on it.