Staying in our home

thegreenone

I'm sorry for your loss.

I agree with @Username03725. I am sure I was restricted to five DCs (£11 each) this time and most institutions copied and returned originals by return, some Signed For.  The registrar emailed me the questions she would be asking and I was able to sit down and check/write out the answers calmly before she phoned.  This was for my Mum so I can't imagine where your head is at the moment for your husband but there is plenty of help out there.

TripleH

You have my sympathies for your loss.

I lost my father unexpectedly although he was retired.

Please, if you have to ring anywhere, ask for the bereavement team first of all. They are better at dealing with these situations sympathetically than standard call centre staff. I know it helped my mother dealing with them. Don't worry if you do go to pieces on a call. I did whrn talking to HMRC and my younger brother had to take over. We, 2 six foot plus well built men, managed to muddle our way through a call whilst taking it in turns to not cry. The poor soul from HMRC did a wonderful job dealing with us.

getmore4less

ON the DC I went for
1 in the file(not to be moved)
1 in hand for any places your turn up in person.
X to post off as you get them back.
forget what X was now, one came back in two pieces with the offer to replace we had enough.

The reality is they come back quite quick doing a few places serially does not add any/much delay to being ready to send off the forms.

getmore4less

Another thing I found useful was a few folders and clear pockets.

Even the most organised and best memory this is a time when that goes out the window.

Makes notes of everything you do, dates, times, person and what was said
File any correspondence by institution. 
A letter would arrive as the result of a phone call a week earlier and recall was not good.

Helps to have a to do list with the next thing to get done for each one.

Username03725

getmore4less said:

Another thing I found useful was a few folders and clear pockets.

Even the most organised and best memory this is a time when that goes out the window.

Makes notes of everything you do, dates, times, person and what was said
File any correspondence by institution. 
A letter would arrive as the result of a phone call a week earlier and recall was not good.

Helps to have a to do list with the next thing to get done for each one.

Re this after any letter or phone call of note I emailed a detailed summary to my siblings (we were sole beneficiaries), to make sure we were all on the same page and to act as a record of what had gone on. All emails in & out no matter how trivial it seemed at the time went into an email folder created for this purpose.

When probate & dispersal was still being finalised 12 months later that additional source of historical info was extremely useful, if only to remind us how difficult it may have seemed at the time but with hindsight was an orderly well-managed process that actually went relatively quickly & smoothly.

Email. It's a useful tool.

Flugelhorn

agree re only needing small number of certs - "tell us once" has made big difference - probably no more than 3 needed. Also agree re bereavement teams - they were definitely the best bunch of employees in any of the organisations I dealt with -they had leeway to "do things", certainly were never officious and often genuinely kind. Pity not all staff in said organisations are like that!

hope you are feeling OK  OP 

BooJewels

I'd concur with the recent suggestions made.  For the two estates I've been managing at the same time (father and husband) I had a separate note book for each one.  I started a new page with a heading and date, each time I approached a new company and made notes - the time, who I spoke to, what department etc. and a summary of the conversation.  It really is worth spending that time, it makes it much easier to recall where you're up to - and is really helpful when you chase people to be able to say "I spoke to Fred in the bereavement department at 09:47 last Tuesday morning" - they know from the outset that there's no point fobbing you off or being vague.

It had proved invaluable since too - for various reasons and we recently got a letter in respect of my father's continuous health care funding where they seemingly found something during an audit and have offered us the chance to appeal his funding refusal decision made in 2019.  Being able to go back and give exact appointment times and names where someone didn't turn up (happened several times) has really helped us fill in the extensive paperwork they sent.  Plus the notes I took at the time really helped us remember details.

In respect of DCs - I got 10 for my father, but both my sister and I were dealing with his estate, so 5 each and we each only used a couple routinely.  I got 6 for my husband and the same 2 or 3 went in and out several times.  I too got one sliced in half by a letter opening machine that came back in 2 pieces.  Get a good scan of one when they arrive as this can be printed, emailed or uploaded which many companies are now allowing.  I just sent out a print from this, as one company where I was doing a name change just asked for 'a photocopy' for their records.

But I recently encountered an issue where I was asked for a copy of my Mum's DC, whilst selling the family home as it was required for land registry changes, as her name was still on the record.  So what I've done, as part of my prep for my son in future, is put one each of all the DCs I have into the file with my Will, so that he has them all to hand in one place, just in case.

In respect of my father's estate, almost completed now, my sister and I share notes in Google Keep as to anything we've done (I publish estate accounts every month end, as I handle the money side of it) and we always forward any received emails to the other - it keeps each other fully informed, plus acts as a back up and saves for the minor embarrassment when an organisation speaks to one of us, then rings the other to follow up, because they insist on mixing up our phone numbers - which keeps happening.

JGB1955

I had 5 DCs for my father.  I numbered them on the back and kept a spreadsheet detailing who they had been sent to, when they were sent and when they were returned.

The spreadsheet also detailed necessary actions, refunds due, dates of follow up phone calls etc etc.  It meant that if anything had happened to me in the meantime, someone else would have been able to pick up where I left off.

vickyholly

thankyou everyone  x

vickyholly

so, its been a very long 7 days , kind of getting things done, took all of your advice and only got 5 death certificates, lots of people seem happy with a scan or a photo now. , Morgage company have put me on a holiday , but a e still charging daily interest. but have assured me i wont get kicked out, I was abit confused about the death in service pay out, i though that was tied up with pension, but is separate benifit at my husbands work and they have already started the ball rolling and contacted their pension provider for me, having a meeting with my husbands boss on monday so i guess ill know more then. , Life insurance is with legal and general, they need a certified copy of the will, which im getting a copy done a solicitors as dont want to send off original, the difficult thing with them is they want all 3 executors to sign in front of a solicitor at the same time, one of the executors lives miles away and is disabled so makes this really awkward. id there any way around it? could she do it separately at a solicitors near her ? thankyou all so much for helping me through these scary days