Staying in our home

GrumpyDil

My condolences as well.

Reading your post it looks like your husband had life insurance to cover the mortgage plus a separate life cover provided as part of his employment. 

I would also suspect that he had some form of pension with his employment. It's early days but if he does have an emoyment related pension it may have additional benefits depending upon the type of pension. You should be able to find out more when you speak to his employer.

Above all take time to make sure you and your daughter are OK and take whatever help is offered. We had a friend lose her husband on new years day. We've helped with a couple of small things and basically said let us know if we can do anything to help. 

BooJewels

My sincere condolences.  I was widowed last summer, so I understand your predicament, although I had the advantage, if you can call it that, of knowing it was coming for a while and being able to plan and put arrangements in place to minimise the issues.  So I escaped the additional shock element.

I would reiterate what others have said; banks, lenders, utility companies and the likes, usually have dedicated bereavement departments and please always ask for these when ringing - they put suitably trained and motivated personnel into those departments with good reason.  They're sensitive and helpful and will steer you through what needs to be done with patience.

We actually settled our mortgage at the critical illness stage earlier, but again, the bank employ people specifically to handle such cases and they know what they're doing.  I would image your situation will be quicker to resolve, as we had a lot of medical evidence to provide - and some was hard to get from consultants.  Ensure, as already mentioned, that you get additional copies of the death certificate, as they're likely to be needed in more than one place at once.

Chase up any pension pots as you've already touched on - even if your husband only worked for a company for a short time, if he had a workplace pension.  I got three paid in total - one was only £72, from a few weeks part time, but better in my pocket than the Government, or whoever it defaults to.  I found that the more money involved, the more hoops they'll make you jump through to get it.  So expect the bigger ones to be more work.

But please also ensure that you check out the Bereavement Support Payment from the Government - it pays £2,500 as a cash lump sum and then £100 / month for 18 months if you were married and your husband (or civil partner) was under state pension age and had paid a qualifying period of NI.  If your daughter qualifies for child benefit - which she no doubt will at 11 - the payments rise to £3,500 and £350/month.  You'll need to send a marriage certificate and fill in a modest form that you can print from the link above.  I went into the local Job Centre and they certified the certificate for me, so that I didn't have to send off the original.  I had the cash in my account within 3 weeks of posting the form.

I also question if you need Probate or not - if you inherit 100% as a spouse, you probably don't need it at all - wait and see if anyone asks for it.  I've not done it and no one has asked.

I wish you luck.  There's no hurry, if you don't feel up to changing names on the electricity bill etc., but I personally found it helpful to be doing something.  But your young daughter will need you too.

getmore4less

Much has been covered.

Ask for help, 
When people say let us know if there is anything we can do they mean it but step back unless very close then never get asked.

If the property legal title at land registry is only in your husband's name you will need the grant(probate) to change the legal owners.

BUT it can wait there is no need to rush that part. 
If you know someone who has done it before in time they can help if you don't mind sharing information.

The key with the property is you will get the funds to clear the mortgage that is often the biggest worry people have as they have no visibility of future income to make payments.

I would check the imediate funds to see if you have enough to get through the next week or two.

Longer term you know you have funds coming, that could be quite quick.

One suggestion made to me when dealing with a death,  even if I want to do everything consider getting someone to drive if heading out to local institutions.

Everything can be done by post these days.

First job will registration that used to need a trip to the registrar I believe that is now being done by phone(check your area)

That would be a good time to take one of the offers of support and have someone with you.

Think about any extra support for you daughter.

As said by others there is no rush to get everything done take as much time as you need for each step.

Many find the process cathartic I know I did.

BooJewels

@getmore4less said:

First job will registration that used to need a trip to the registrar I believe that is now being done by phone(check your area)

I did mine by phone and my father's a year earlier was too.  Actually, that was one of the bits I was really dreading, as I had an appointment to do it (they ring you first when they get the papers from the GP and set up an appointment for the actual registration and tell you what information they'll need you to have to complete the process) and so you know when it's coming.  

But the lady registrar was totally lovely, very calm and patient and it was not the ordeal I was anticipating.  But it takes a while, as because it's done over the phone they check and double check everything, spell every name back to you etc, so you need to allow enough time for it - I think they warned me it would take 45 minutes and it was about that.  Perhaps the best way you can prepare for that is to remove any distractions, so that you can concentrate - maybe that's where your support can perhaps take your daughter out for a while.

Have a debit card with you too as if you order extra death certificates, which as above, I recommend that you do, they take payment over the phone during that process.  But I think they'll remind you about this in the appointment making call.

They also send you a code in the papers for the Tell Us Once service that was mentioned earlier - this can be done on-line and informs all Government departments about the death and covers things like passports, driving licence, tax, benefits and pensions.  Definitely worth doing.

Pennylane

Really sorry for your loss.  You have had some excellent advice on here so don’t feel you have to rush, just take your time and it will all fall into place.  The Tell Us Once Service is brilliant and I found my late Mum’s life insurance company excellent.  You may not even need probate. Check with the bank.  Take care.

Savvy_Sue

getmore4less said:

When people say let us know if there is anything we can do they mean it but step back unless very close then never get asked.

<snip>

One suggestion made to me when dealing with a death,  even if I want to do everything consider getting someone to drive if heading out to local institutions.

Both these suggestions worth noting: people will offer once, then nothing. But do not be afraid to ask. Initially you have no idea what you want or need.

And even if you don't have another person to drive, someone with you to navigate and hold the tissues is well worthwhile.

Flugelhorn

I am so sorry to hear of your loss - please don't worry about all this, it will sort out in time - the bereavement teams at various places should be able to help you but won't expect anything to be done for a while.

FWIW - my neighbour was widowed, house was in husband's name only - she was worried re this, lovely friend who was solicitor assured all was fine as it was but she was wanting to make it "all sorted" - all the legals were easily done, land registry changed etc etc 

Brie

Sorry for your loss - it can be such a shock even when one is expecting it.

I can't see anything about if you are working other than looking after your daughter.  It's possible that your employer will have support that can be offered in addition to the financial things that your husband's employer will provide.   Obviously there will be some sort of compassion leave that will be part of the HR policy but there may other things, free legal service, counselling for you and/or your daughter.  Your husband's employer might have those too.  If you are able to let us know who you both work for or at least the industry someone might be able to help further with this.

gettingtheresometime

I'm sorry for your loss ... I know only too well the swirl of emotions you're experiencing. 

If like mine, your husband's death was unexpected, then be prepared for there to be a post mortem which might delay the ability to register his death. 

I've found that I have only needed one copy of the death certificate as many organisations prefer you to inform them online so you can upload a scanned copy of the death certificate.

It might also be worth looking at widowed and young.org.U.K. who offers specific advice for people who have been bereaved before the age of 51. 

Username03725

All good advice so far but don’t get 10 copies of the death certificate. I did for both of my parents' deaths and most weren’t needed.

Count how many institutions you need to inform that are outside of the Tell Us Once service (so non-state orgs), and then count how many of those you expect to deal with instantly. Of the 10 copies I had, we used only 2 or 3. It was wasted money.