Dilemma with recent house move and future

johnnpaull12

Hi all,

I’m just looking for a bit of advice regarding an issue I’ve had since moving house.

Sorry if the thread is too long I’m new to this! I’ll try and break it down to keep it simple:

Partner and I recently moved into new house (Start Dec ‘21) which is a 3 Bed Semi. We moved from a 2 bed end terraced which was our home for 3 years. Only 5 min drive away.

We have realised we have a combination of a very noisy family next door with 3 young kids, along with a Semi Detached structure where we can hear everything coming through. The main issue is impact noises every time someone walks (stomps) around the stairs and landing, doors slamming, every going on in the kitchen.

Not unreasonable noise at all and no more than you’d expect from a house with 3 kids in (though they make so much noise!)

The noise is so intrusive. The chaotic noise stops around 7-8 when kids go to bed but can still hear noise up until 10:30 when everyone’s in bed. Can’t relax or concentrate on watching TV. On weekend we are woken up at 7:30 because the kids are screaming and stomping and can’t get back asleep.

Over the past few weeks I’ve reached my wits end. I’ve driven myself insane about what to do. I’ve spent hours online researching soundproofing and seen so many conflicting reports and opinions, I don’t want to spend thousands on it not to work. Apparently impact noise is nigh on impossible to stop travelling into our house. 

I was adamant on getting this done as I cannot put up with the noise but I was sceptical about its result. I’ve now resigned to the thought of getting it done, what if I were to spend £10k on getting work done and it STILL not work. 

Option B is we save this £10k and move house. (I’m looking at this could pay a large chunk of moving fees). Our fixed term ends July ‘22. I know we ideally need to wait 6 months to resell and it would look suspicious for it to go back on the market already. Would rather not also pay ERP’s. I feel like this could be a way out, while at the same time will give me a year or so to try and get used to it. (Though I don’t think I will).

OH isn’t as disturbed by the whole noise situation but knows I’m unhappy with it. She is wanting to decorate, make home improvements etc but my heart isn’t in it currently. It would upset her to contemplate moving again, but Ultimately I know she would never want me to be unhappy.

This was our ‘dream’ home and to be our ‘forever’ home, I was so looking forward to this new chapter in my life but I now dread the future and can’t see myself here. I know it sounds dramatic but I can’t put up with 20 years of it, I can’t get it off my mind!

We can probably afford a detached property so this could be an option in 12-15 months time. It will be a strange period of time for me but the hope of not being stuck in this situation slightly helps my mind. Haven’t told OH this thought process yet as I don’t want to taint their time here, I might just keep reiterating I don’t feel at home yet. 

We are still in our late 20s. We would like children in the next couple years which makes me feel we need to make sure we make the right decision.

Wondering if anyone out there has had any similar experiences or can give an opinion on what would be best to do.

Thank you in advance!

[Deleted User]

We have recently moved to a detached house after two semi-detached's and I must admit for me it's absolutely the right thing as we are very noise conscious. Although more the other way as we have two kids (15 & 12) who can be seriously loud when they want to be along with two dogs and we were always so worried about the noise they were making or the TV being too loud etc that we couldn't really relax and always felt on edge. I think it's a similar 'on edge' feeling you are describing.

I think it's all very new for you. There will be a big adjustment period. You may never get used to it - but you might, or at least be able to take a longer 'interim' period before a move to a detached property. Perhaps get a couple of good sound proofing companies out to see you and give honest opinions rather than just reading about it. They will be able to advise a lot more. You could also try one or two of the 'main use' rooms adjoining the other property first and see if there's an improvement. Then you may not have wasted as much as you thought and it might make the decision a bit more for you?

You also seem to be putting a lot of pressure on this house and very long term / forever ness. If you are late 20s, then there are so many things that can change that it might just be a lot of pressure you're adding on. It sounds like you are trying to create the 'perfect' place everywhere. Also - if you did eventually have children there then you may not notice the sound as much as with just you and your partner as you're currently on 'hyper-alert'.

Our last move was less than a year. We realised it wasn't right for us (although we agreed on that). A short move isn't a bad thing but make sure it's the right thing after exploring all options and try and take the pressure off a little.

johnnpaull12

Deleted_User said:

We have recently moved to a detached house after two semi-detached's and I must admit for me it's absolutely the right thing as we are very noise conscious. Although more the other way as we have two kids (15 & 12) who can be seriously loud when they want to be along with two dogs and we were always so worried about the noise they were making or the TV being too loud etc that we couldn't really relax and always felt on edge. I think it's a similar 'on edge' feeling you are describing.

I think it's all very new for you. There will be a big adjustment period. You may never get used to it - but you might, or at least be able to take a longer 'interim' period before a move to a detached property. Perhaps get a couple of good sound proofing companies out to see you and give honest opinions rather than just reading about it. They will be able to advise a lot more. You could also try one or two of the 'main use' rooms adjoining the other property first and see if there's an improvement. Then you may not have wasted as much as you thought and it might make the decision a bit more for you?

You also seem to be putting a lot of pressure on this house and very long term / forever ness. If you are late 20s, then there are so many things that can change that it might just be a lot of pressure you're adding on. It sounds like you are trying to create the 'perfect' place everywhere. Also - if you did eventually have children there then you may not notice the sound as much as with just you and your partner as you're currently on 'hyper-alert'.

Our last move was less than a year. We realised it wasn't right for us (although we agreed on that). A short move isn't a bad thing but make sure it's the right thing after exploring all options and try and take the pressure off a little.

Hi and thanks for the response.

The ‘on edge’ feeling you describe is basically it. It’s like I’m waiting out for it as soon as we settle down for the evening and stick something on the telly and I just can’t relax.

We are looking at getting some quotes. The soundproofing companies I’ve spoken to are quite honest though in saying there’s some noise you can’t block out depending on the house’s structure (I guess to cover their backs). I suppose you’ll just never know until it’s done and you owe them ££££s whether it works or not ha! I imagine soundproofing can get expensive very quickly. The thought of spending all that money and still not being satisfied will leave me completely stuck.

I will give it time though and see if I can adjust and settle, then in a years time re-evaluate. It’ll make more sense financially. Our property’s value will only increase with the market I suppose.

You said your last move was less than a year, did you struggle to sell at all with it going back on the market so soon, did buyers ask questions about why etc? 

hazyjo

Would swapping your rooms around help at all in the short term?

Use the 2nd biggest bedroom. Maybe have a separate dressing room if it's too small for enough wardrobe space. Would that be quieter? Try not to have your bed against the shared wall.

Do you have a dining room/area? Could that become your lounge? Where's your TV? I'd put it on the wall shared with your neighbours so your back isn't to the 'noisy wall'.

I always felt sorry for those living next door to my sister with 3 noisy young kids! 

Slithery

johnnpaull12 said:

The noise is so intrusive. The chaotic noise stops around 7-8 when kids go to bed but can still hear noise up until 10:30 when everyone’s in bed. Can’t relax or concentrate on watching TV.

Wondering if anyone out there has had any similar experiences or can give an opinion on what would be best to do.

Turn the TV up?

NameUnavailable

The problem with fitting sound proofing is that when you come to sell it will signal to buyers that the property has noise issues.

RelievedSheff

You have my up most sympathy. We lived with noisy neighbours for 13 years in our previous house and it was a living hell. We were stuck there when house prices plummeted and we ended up in negative equity for a long time. We didn't have the choice of moving. 

I know how much the noise grinds you down and how you wait for the noise to start again. It is thoroughly exhausting.

We had people from sound proofing companies round and they said due to the construction of the houses in that particular case sound proofing wouldn't really be cost effective or effective at reducing the noise enough.

As soon as we could we moved to a detached new build property and it has been the best thing we ever did. We are both (and the dog) so much more relaxed here. It instantly felt like home.

andy444

You could try sound proofing for one room against the party wall and see if it makes any significant difference. I know sound proofing really needs to be a full system method but it may help to see if any measures could make a difference.

You'll have to wait six months before you can realistically move so maybe see how you feel about it later this year. If people ask why you're selling so quickly you can generally fob them off with some excuse like you've been offered a job elsewhere etc.

koalakoala

I wouldn't waste money soundproofing. Get yourself a detached property as soon as is feasible.

johnnpaull12

Slithery said:

johnnpaull12 said:

The noise is so intrusive. The chaotic noise stops around 7-8 when kids go to bed but can still hear noise up until 10:30 when everyone’s in bed. Can’t relax or concentrate on watching TV.

Wondering if anyone out there has had any similar experiences or can give an opinion on what would be best to do.

Turn the TV up?

I don’t always have the TV on. Plus it’s a vibration whenever they walk upstairs, close a cupboard, close a door it sounds like it’s coming from within our house. Not sure I can put up with it for 10-15+ years

johnnpaull12

hazyjo said:

Would swapping your rooms around help at all in the short term?

Use the 2nd biggest bedroom. Maybe have a separate dressing room if it's too small for enough wardrobe space. Would that be quieter? Try not to have your bed against the shared wall.

Do you have a dining room/area? Could that become your lounge? Where's your TV? I'd put it on the wall shared with your neighbours so your back isn't to the 'noisy wall'.

I always felt sorry for those living next door to my sister with 3 noisy young kids! 

Unfortunately it won’t help. We can hear them upstairs in their house at the other side of our house in the downstairs toilet. It’s unbelievable how much sound travels through.