Help re partner & shared costs

theoretica

Soundgirlrocks said:

theoretica 

One scenario to think about is if you each rented out your flats and then shared the expenses of somewhere to live - this would probably feel fair and equal, and it sounds like he would be better off if you did that.

I’m not sure he would be, he’s a higher rate tax payer so if he rented his flat out by the time he’s covered the mortgage on his place and the tax he would probably be looking at an increase of £400 is a month. To rent somewhere we would be looking a t a minimum of £1500 rent so we would both be worse off.

It may just be the way you word it, but does your estimate have both the profit from renting his flat, and the reduction in expense from the mortgage being covered?  Similarly does the £350 pcm increase in income you have also account for the mortgage being covered?

kimwp

Soundgirlrocks said:

To answer some of the comments, no he did not pay rent whilst living with me. 

I was happy to renovate his flat whilst furloughed, and don’t expect a stake in his flat for doing the work. I did it because I love him and could make his flat a proper home for him. I saw it as investing in our future. A rough estimate of what it would have costed him in labour is probably £6-7k. 

He is in a better position living together I cook (prior to me he would spend £600 pcm on takeaways and ready meals) and as I mentioned I pay for all the groceries. If for the sake of argument I moved out his costs would go up.

I would have quite happily have stayed living together in my flat but he doesn’t like its location. 

Have you pointed out these things to him?
Also have you considered what each of you will have in disposable income after your expenses?

london21

I have this saying, treat others how you would like to be treated.

You both need to communicate and come to a fair agreement.

Money sometimes make relationships complicated.

Haven be reading the posts about relationship and finance, making me think about my affairs been currently single with a property.

Hopefully you both come to an agreement that would make both of you happy. 

Bluebell1000

When my husband first moved in with me, my salary was enough to cover house expenses, so he prioritised paying off his debts instead of paying me anything (he also rented out his flat). That meant we were in a far better position when getting a joint mortgage because he was debt free. That could be a reasonable way to approach it with your partner?