Not married no kids together and now ive had to leave the jointly owned house

andrew1111

So at the end of May 2021 after speaking with my ex twice about how i felt, i gave up and left our house. We never married but were engaged, she has 2 children that arent mine and since leaving ive been trying to get her to sell the house. We are joint tenants, all the furniture i paid for and white goods, i bought a car in my name and finance in my name that she pays me for each month so she can keep it. 8 months later i am getting monthly excuses that this needs doing and that needs doing before its ready for sale. I've offered to pay the mortgage and assist her with a deposit for her to find somewhere to rent but she doesnt want my help. Ive been too nice but was concious that her and her children were settled somewhere else as I want my equity from the house to move on but i am stuck in limbo. So ive decided enough is enough and ive given her 2 weeks to get it on the market, or i will sever the joint tenancy and apply for a court order to force the sale and i will take all my belongings and take my car back that she is technically renting off me. Ive no other choice now ive been nice for months and she is just messing me about. Has anyone any thoughts on this and how long a court order will take etc?

pinkshoes

andrew1111 said:

So at the end of May 2021 after speaking with my ex twice about how i felt, i gave up and left our house. We never married but were engaged, she has 2 children that arent mine and since leaving ive been trying to get her to sell the house. We are joint tenants, all the furniture i paid for and white goods, i bought a car in my name and finance in my name that she pays me for each month so she can keep it. 8 months later i am getting monthly excuses that this needs doing and that needs doing before its ready for sale. I've offered to pay the mortgage and assist her with a deposit for her to find somewhere to rent but she doesnt want my help. Ive been too nice but was concious that her and her children were settled somewhere else as I want my equity from the house to move on but i am stuck in limbo. So ive decided enough is enough and ive given her 2 weeks to get it on the market, or i will sever the joint tenancy and apply for a court order to force the sale and i will take all my belongings and take my car back that she is technically renting off me. Ive no other choice now ive been nice for months and she is just messing me about. Has anyone any thoughts on this and how long a court order will take etc?

You are joint tenants... This means that the house is half hers too, and she is living in it with HER children.

I appreciate it is half yours too and they are not your children, but don't forget it is also their home.

You do have the option of moving back in to speed things along... Could you buy her out? e.g. do you have enough cash to pay her her share of any equity, and do you earn enough to take on the mortgage on your own?

I suggest putting your suggestions nicely in writing. List the furniture that YOU paid for (and you can prove with receipts), and stately calmly that you need to move on with your life so need the property to be sold. Ask her to contact you in the next 14 days to arrange a meeting with an estate agent to list the house for sale. If she doesn't contact you in those two weeks, then write again, but this time being firmer, stating that if she does not list the house in the next 2 weeks, then you will be seeking legal action to force the sale, of which costs will potentially be deducted from her share due to refusing to cooperate. Put it in writing that you are happy for her to have £X equity when the house is sold. 

Are you happy that any equity is split 50/50? Are you still paying your half of the mortgage?

Regarding the car, who is the registered keeper?

getmore4less

Moving out changes the balance of power and motivation of the one that stays.

Forced sales tend to be more costly and take longer than motivation to move when you move back in with your own guests.

andrew1111

I cant buy her out as ive too much debt from paying for us an extention and all the furniture and buying her a shop. The car is in my name and the finance. With regards to her children ive offered to pay a rental deposit to allow them to get settled somewhere new then id pay the house mortgage until its sold but shes declined those offers. Ive been really nice for months but my life is in limbo and im fed up of all the excuses as to why she cant sell. Its half mine, im stuck in a crap apartment with a cheap car and shes in the nice car and house. I gave her everything and she pushed me away and now am fed up and had enough. Nice doesnt work ive tried

tacpot12

It doesn't really matter how long the court order take, you need her out. I would let your two weeks notice to her expire and then crack on with plan A.

Make it clear that you will ask the court to award you costs as she has had time to put the house on the market and hasn't. There is still plenty she can do to stall including making  it difficult if potential buyers come to view the house, so it would worth trying to keep things reasonably pleasant but reinforcing the line that the situation can't go on indefinitely. 

How is she paying the mortgage at the moment?  

RogerBareford

andrew1111 said:

I cant buy her out as ive too much debt from paying for us an extention and all the furniture and buying her a shop. The car is in my name and the finance. With regards to her children ive offered to pay a rental deposit to allow them to get settled somewhere new then id pay the house mortgage until its sold but shes declined those offers. Ive been really nice for months but my life is in limbo and im fed up of all the excuses as to why she cant sell. Its half mine, im stuck in a crap apartment with a cheap car and shes in the nice car and house. I gave her everything and she pushed me away and now am fed up and had enough. Nice doesnt work ive tried

There is nothing stopping you from moving back into the house until it is sold.

andrew1111

I know am trying to just get my life back on track. Would a court order go against me as she has children even though I am not the father and we weren't married?

RogerBareford

andrew1111 said:

I know am trying to just get my life back on track. Would a court order go against me as she has children even though I am not the father and we weren't married?

Personally i'm not sure why you would want to go down the route of a court order when it would be far simpler to just move back in and say you will be staying there until the house is sold. I'm sure this would encourage her to want to sell so that she can move on. 

wilfred30

andrew1111 said:

I cant buy her out as ive too much debt from paying for us an extention and all the furniture and buying her a shop. The car is in my name and the finance. With regards to her children ive offered to pay a rental deposit to allow them to get settled somewhere new then id pay the house mortgage until its sold but shes declined those offers. Ive been really nice for months but my life is in limbo and im fed up of all the excuses as to why she cant sell. Its half mine, im stuck in a crap apartment with a cheap car and shes in the nice car and house. I gave her everything and she pushed me away and now am fed up and had enough. Nice doesnt work ive tried

Whose name is the shop in, yours or hers?

sammyjammy

Time to sell the car!

Annisele

I'm not sure why either of you would want to wait to sever the joint tenancy. As things stand, if you die she'll get the whole house - but that's true the other way round too. In her shoes, I wouldn't want my ex to inherit the whole of our joint house; I'd want to pass as much as I could on to my children.