Single people and retirement

Audaxer

SMcGill said:

Would you still not want to leave an inheritance for your daughter?

I would like to but feel no pressure to do so. I ‘loaned’ her £100,000 of my retirement savings so she could buy a flat for £230k which she sold 9 years later for £365k. My retirement strategy includes releasing equity from my house if I need to, but if I don’t then she will get whatever is left.

Wow, that is a big chunk of retirement savings to give as a loan, even to your daughter. From what you said in an earlier post about not having many hobbies or a big bucket list, I doubt you will need equity release.

Albermarle

 I'm used to travelling on business so have no fear of going to a pub, restaurant or cinema alone. Especially cinema, as that's not a social event, you're watching a film not chatting! Really, nobody cares if you're on your own, they don't look at you like a sad old drunk or whatever, what's really sad is to deny yourself stuff because of what other people might think!

I still travel alone a lot, as there's a lot of places I want to see which my wife (and friends) have no interest in.

Also having travelled on business, I generally have no issue with staying on my own , or going to pubs on my own . Nice to actually get away from the family sometimes ! Although, it is easier being male than female in this respect . Not being sexist , just repeating what all my female ex colleagues used to say .
However I do pick and choose where is best to go on your own when you are 'more mature' . Many( most ) pubs are mainly full of younger people and I think you stand out a bit more on your own in some restaurants, more than others .

zagfles

Albermarle said:

 I'm used to travelling on business so have no fear of going to a pub, restaurant or cinema alone. Especially cinema, as that's not a social event, you're watching a film not chatting! Really, nobody cares if you're on your own, they don't look at you like a sad old drunk or whatever, what's really sad is to deny yourself stuff because of what other people might think!

I still travel alone a lot, as there's a lot of places I want to see which my wife (and friends) have no interest in.

Also having travelled on business, I generally have no issue with staying on my own , or going to pubs on my own . Nice to actually get away from the family sometimes ! Although, it is easier being male than female in this respect . Not being sexist , just repeating what all my female ex colleagues used to say .
However I do pick and choose where is best to go on your own when you are 'more mature' . Many( most ) pubs are mainly full of younger people and I think you stand out a bit more on your own in some restaurants, more than others .

I used to go backpacking round the world staying in hostels, I'd say it's about 50/50 male and female solo travellers. Especially in places like Australia & NZ, maybe less so in Asia and Africa but still not far off.

But yes there's probably more fear amongst women, despite men being far more likely to be a victim of violence at the hands of a stranger, women fear it more. Probably not helped by the media who will go into a hysterical frenzy when a woman is killed by a stranger but hardly mention it when a man is killed by a stranger.

Just glad my daughter isn't taken in by the hype and can see things rationally, she used to work in a pub finishing after 11pm and getting the last train home alone, not even slightly worried, refused offers of a lift as we were worring more! (the irrationality of what's drummed into us by the media rubs off even on logical people like me and my wife - car travel is more dangerous than PT travel even at night, well in most areas anyway!).

Terron

barnstar2077 said:

It is definitely tougher financially for single people than it used to be.  I was able to get a mortgage, for a three bedroom house, on my own twenty years ago with a ten percent deposit.  Not much chance of single twenty year olds on average salaries doing the same these days! 

Nor was there any chance in 1989 when I first bought. Maximum mortgage was 2.5*salary so that was £40k and I had to supply the other £24.5k as a deposit (with help from the BoMD). Then I lost that and went into negative equity (by £500) due to the 1990 crash. I was 30 then. It was easier in the 00s but that was unusual.

bostonerimus

zagfles said:

bostonerimus said:

Brie said:

I sometimes envy those who are single and don't have to depend or be depended on.  I hope that I would be sensible about things if I was single, that I would socialise and not be a recluse, go to work for money or for love (probably of cats) and acquire an air of mad aunt to the few nieces and nephews that I've been presented with.  (all now in their 20s and so finally interesting)

I'd have to figure out who to assign duties to one might normally give to a spouse.  Beneficiaries of stuff, executor of will?  POA??  How does one notify distant family and friends of whatever (severe illness/accidents/death) if there's no one close??

As it is I still have my OH (not under the patio, well, not yet) who has no income but does have opinions but rarely makes decisions.  It's all a challenge but just in different shades.

Being single and retired does have many practical implications. There's no one to pick you up at the airport or drive you back from the garage when you drop your car off to be fixed. You have to be comfortable going to the cinema and theater alone. I enjoy going to the coffee shop alone, but don't go to the pub without a friend as I think that would make me a "sad old drunk". I have appointed one of my nieces as my executor, but I've paid a lawyer to set everything up and they will help with the estate once I'm gone. I'm also giving money away faster than I would do if I had a partner.

There are also psychological implications to being alone and I think some people would find it difficult. I've lived alone for 25 years (since my divorce) and I enjoy my own company so I think it would actually be difficult to have to share daily life with someone. That might have been one of the reasons for the divorce. I have good friends, but I don't have to spend time with them every day...and I'm glad of that.

You don't necessarily get all those things if you're a couple! We have one car between us, so will walk or get PT back from the garage, airport etc. I'm used to travelling on business so have no fear of going to a pub, restaurant or cinema alone. Especially cinema, as that's not a social event, you're watching a film not chatting! Really, nobody cares if you're on your own, they don't look at you like a sad old drunk or whatever, what's really sad is to deny yourself stuff because of what other people might think!

I still travel alone a lot, as there's a lot of places I want to see which my wife (and friends) have no interest in.

As far as retirement planning goes, all couples should plan for being single anyway, as it's highly likely that one of you will spend some of your retirement on your own for obvious reasons.

When I travel I'm just fine going into a restaurant/bar for food and a couple of drinks, but at home I just don't do it because I prefer to cook for myself and don't find it enjoyable sitting in a bar drinking without friends and I don't have a local regular bar/pub. Part of what makes it easy for me to live on my own, I think, is my lack of regard for what other people think which sometimes comes off as being misanthropic.

Terron

I am single and have been pretty much retired since I was made redundant at 54 in 2013. 
I had enough savings to live moderately comfortable until my pensions were due to kick in (2019) and to top them up until SP age. However it did not feel right to live off my savings so I went into BTL and lived off the income from that (topped up by savings in the first year when my income was £11k). I use an agent so I rarely have to do more than a few minutes a week (though currently I am preparing my tax return so it will be several hours this week).

Now my DB pensions and annuity are in payment my income is in the high £30s, so I have enough to so some of the travelling I used to dream off. I travelled on my own on job interviews and later for work so that is not an issue for me, though single supplements are. I have just booked to watch England in the West Indies in March and it comes to £16,250. I probably won't spend much more in the other 11 months.

zagfles

bostonerimus said:

zagfles said:

bostonerimus said:

Brie said:

I sometimes envy those who are single and don't have to depend or be depended on.  I hope that I would be sensible about things if I was single, that I would socialise and not be a recluse, go to work for money or for love (probably of cats) and acquire an air of mad aunt to the few nieces and nephews that I've been presented with.  (all now in their 20s and so finally interesting)

I'd have to figure out who to assign duties to one might normally give to a spouse.  Beneficiaries of stuff, executor of will?  POA??  How does one notify distant family and friends of whatever (severe illness/accidents/death) if there's no one close??

As it is I still have my OH (not under the patio, well, not yet) who has no income but does have opinions but rarely makes decisions.  It's all a challenge but just in different shades.

Being single and retired does have many practical implications. There's no one to pick you up at the airport or drive you back from the garage when you drop your car off to be fixed. You have to be comfortable going to the cinema and theater alone. I enjoy going to the coffee shop alone, but don't go to the pub without a friend as I think that would make me a "sad old drunk". I have appointed one of my nieces as my executor, but I've paid a lawyer to set everything up and they will help with the estate once I'm gone. I'm also giving money away faster than I would do if I had a partner.

There are also psychological implications to being alone and I think some people would find it difficult. I've lived alone for 25 years (since my divorce) and I enjoy my own company so I think it would actually be difficult to have to share daily life with someone. That might have been one of the reasons for the divorce. I have good friends, but I don't have to spend time with them every day...and I'm glad of that.

You don't necessarily get all those things if you're a couple! We have one car between us, so will walk or get PT back from the garage, airport etc. I'm used to travelling on business so have no fear of going to a pub, restaurant or cinema alone. Especially cinema, as that's not a social event, you're watching a film not chatting! Really, nobody cares if you're on your own, they don't look at you like a sad old drunk or whatever, what's really sad is to deny yourself stuff because of what other people might think!

I still travel alone a lot, as there's a lot of places I want to see which my wife (and friends) have no interest in.

As far as retirement planning goes, all couples should plan for being single anyway, as it's highly likely that one of you will spend some of your retirement on your own for obvious reasons.

When I travel I'm just fine going into a restaurant/bar for food and a couple of drinks, but at home I just don't do it because I prefer to cook for myself and don't find it enjoyable sitting in a bar drinking without friends and I don't have a local regular bar/pub. Part of what makes it easy for me to live on my own, I think, is my lack of regard for what other people think which sometimes comes off as being misanthropic.

Yes it's pretty boring going to a normal pub on your own, although if it's one with sports on I will, I refuse to pay for sports channels at home so if there's something on I want to see I'll go to a pub which has it on even if alone. But invariably you get talking to people around you about the match etc. When I worked late shifts I'd often nip out to the pub for half an hour and read the paper, just to get out of the office on my break (and have a pint obviously)!

When travelling, hostel bars are great because it's easy to meet people up for a chat and a laugh, discuss travels etc, not just other solo travellers but those in groups. I don't usually go to restaurants with waiter service when travelling alone, that really is boring waiting for food to arrive with no-one to talk to (used to do that a lot on business when no choice), I usually get a self service buffet lunch or get food on the go etc.

Having said all that I'm not sure how I'd cope living on my own full time...but I guess all retirees should plan for that possibility...both financially and otherwise...because it'll happen to almost half of those not currently single...

bostonerimus

zagfles said:

bostonerimus said:

zagfles said:

bostonerimus said:

Brie said:

I sometimes envy those who are single and don't have to depend or be depended on.  I hope that I would be sensible about things if I was single, that I would socialise and not be a recluse, go to work for money or for love (probably of cats) and acquire an air of mad aunt to the few nieces and nephews that I've been presented with.  (all now in their 20s and so finally interesting)

I'd have to figure out who to assign duties to one might normally give to a spouse.  Beneficiaries of stuff, executor of will?  POA??  How does one notify distant family and friends of whatever (severe illness/accidents/death) if there's no one close??

As it is I still have my OH (not under the patio, well, not yet) who has no income but does have opinions but rarely makes decisions.  It's all a challenge but just in different shades.

Being single and retired does have many practical implications. There's no one to pick you up at the airport or drive you back from the garage when you drop your car off to be fixed. You have to be comfortable going to the cinema and theater alone. I enjoy going to the coffee shop alone, but don't go to the pub without a friend as I think that would make me a "sad old drunk". I have appointed one of my nieces as my executor, but I've paid a lawyer to set everything up and they will help with the estate once I'm gone. I'm also giving money away faster than I would do if I had a partner.

There are also psychological implications to being alone and I think some people would find it difficult. I've lived alone for 25 years (since my divorce) and I enjoy my own company so I think it would actually be difficult to have to share daily life with someone. That might have been one of the reasons for the divorce. I have good friends, but I don't have to spend time with them every day...and I'm glad of that.

You don't necessarily get all those things if you're a couple! We have one car between us, so will walk or get PT back from the garage, airport etc. I'm used to travelling on business so have no fear of going to a pub, restaurant or cinema alone. Especially cinema, as that's not a social event, you're watching a film not chatting! Really, nobody cares if you're on your own, they don't look at you like a sad old drunk or whatever, what's really sad is to deny yourself stuff because of what other people might think!

I still travel alone a lot, as there's a lot of places I want to see which my wife (and friends) have no interest in.

As far as retirement planning goes, all couples should plan for being single anyway, as it's highly likely that one of you will spend some of your retirement on your own for obvious reasons.

When I travel I'm just fine going into a restaurant/bar for food and a couple of drinks, but at home I just don't do it because I prefer to cook for myself and don't find it enjoyable sitting in a bar drinking without friends and I don't have a local regular bar/pub. Part of what makes it easy for me to live on my own, I think, is my lack of regard for what other people think which sometimes comes off as being misanthropic.

Yes it's pretty boring going to a normal pub on your own, although if it's one with sports on I will, I refuse to pay for sports channels at home so if there's something on I want to see I'll go to a pub which has it on even if alone. But invariably you get talking to people around you about the match etc. When I worked late shifts I'd often nip out to the pub for half an hour and read the paper, just to get out of the office on my break (and have a pint obviously)!

When travelling, hostel bars are great because it's easy to meet people up for a chat and a laugh, discuss travels etc, not just other solo travellers but those in groups. I don't usually go to restaurants with waiter service when travelling alone, that really is boring waiting for food to arrive with no-one to talk to (used to do that a lot on business when no choice), I usually get a self service buffet lunch or get food on the go etc.

Having said all that I'm not sure how I'd cope living on my own full time...but I guess all retirees should plan for that possibility...both financially and otherwise...because it'll happen to almost half of those not currently single...

Yes, before covid I had a regular weekend "date" with a friend to watch the Premier League at a bar in town. Breakfast and a few beers and talking football etc was nice, but it's been intermittent over the last 18 months. I also like hostel bars and places where you can meet fellow travelers. I do a lot of bicycle touring which is solitary during the day, but if you are on one of the well traveled routes, at the end of the day you can always swap stories with someone.

marycanary

I'm just nipping back to this threat to say I have handed in my notice and I will retire on the 31st March 2023. This is a few years later than I originally planned. The delay is partly due to Covid and partly because of some arm twisting to stay on for one more year to deal with the pressure on the service. 

I did have to smile when I handed my boss the resignation letter.

Boss - would you consider part-time?
Me - under no circumstances

Flashback 2 years
Me - can I go part-time?
Boss - under no circumstances

I have some holiday to take so my last day at work is 10th March 2023. I thought I might be nervous about leaving but I have a great sense of peace.

Scallypud

marycanary said:

I'm just nipping back to this threat to say I have handed in my notice and I will retire on the 31st March 2023. This is a few years later than I originally planned. The delay is partly due to Covid and partly because of some arm twisting to stay on for one more year to deal with the pressure on the service. 

I did have to smile when I handed my boss the resignation letter.

Boss - would you consider part-time?
Me - under no circumstances

Flashback 2 years
Me - can I go part-time?
Boss - under no circumstances

I have some holiday to take so my last day at work is 10th March 2023. I thought I might be nervous about leaving but I have a great sense of peace.

Let me be the first to wish all the best in your retirement when it comes.

Be prepared for the boss to try and get you to change your mind