NST December A - Z

ldee2111

f0xh0les said:

I got paid!! well, they have paid me for one  day, £150, and the balance is to appear on 24th - at least I know it is coming. So progress!

I don't really have any Xmas disasters, during a very icy end of December whilst 4 days overdue with DS4, I had to go into Hope hospital every day for half an hour for 'monitoring' on a silly machine, the horrid woman dr who (very loudly) complained on the other side of a soundproof nylon curtain about ignorant women who will not schedule a section if their baby is to be born near Xmas.  Who wants a baby at Xmas?? I said I did not celebrate Xmas, so then I had to put up with stage whispers about probably being Jewish. 

  Anyway, the Austrian Gynae noticed DS4 was still hypermobile and immediately booked me in for a C Section  I did not want at 7 the next morning, so I got wheeled to an empty room and left there  in tears. (DH  had dropped me in the car park and was waiting  at home for a phone call to rescue me),  so I gave DS4 a bl--dy good talking to, turned him myself, got him head down,  and when a Dr (man - of course) came in to examine my huuuuuuge bump and tell me it was for my  own good, in that Dr way they have,  he found a perfectly well positioned baby, a totally innocent looking me, and I got taken down for induction (lesser of 3 evils).

As I knew what I was doing, they gave me a very newly qualified midwife, and we chatted for a bit, I ruined her shoes, and had DS4.  surprise shoulder dystosis!    Ho ho ho.

So next morning DH and the kids came in to look at 'It' and DS1 and DS2 kept asking if 'It 'was coming home with us, and could we keep 'It'. and why was It in a box????  DH was over the moon, but they made me stay in overnight, and  the kids rang me on 24th to tell me what  DH had let them open that morning - luckily only one present - and that was the day I found out DH had no idea what day Xmas fell on.   He has other talents, knowing stuff that every normal person knows just isn't one of them. Bless! He did cook a roast, parcel it all up, and we ate it  all together in the canteen on our own plates, then came and got me Xmas morning at 10 when they finally released me, and the kids had refused to open any presents until we were back home.

Boxing Day I was building a 5 foot snowman in the front garden and having a snowball fight - cos that is what Mums do.

What a story ❤️

Deni_debt-free_dreamer

Evening
Got up early and logged into work at 8am.  Achieved quite a bit but hoped to finish early and get to the PO and town; boss scuppered that as he gave me an urgent task to do, nevermind.  Met DD1 at BanQ to look for a festive tree but no luck so got one in a pot at t0sco; looks very small even though it's stood on a coffee table and think i'll only need one set of lights and a few baubles!  Filled up with petrol and suddenly clocked i was at £55 and petrol was spilling out over my car!!  The clicky thing wasn't working to stop the pump so i wasted petrol and money; told the man in the filling station Spent money on the tree and petrol but got my self employment payment so now i can pay my tax after Sprouts Day, yay!

Gratitudes - getting paid; lovely tea from supplies; quiet eve at home

love Deni

mothernerd

CBT was good, afterwards not so much. Mum suggested we cancel Christmas day with DS1 as I'm not getting better from whatever bug I have now. Did not go down well, DS1 went into a rant about how he had taken 10 days off work was doing all the preparation, cooking etc and all I had to do was turn up. It would only be him and DS2 and their partners and the boys' father. He was having to have his dad for 3 days (who's now had both feet off apparently) in a non-adapted house and it would have been much simpler and cheaper for them to go to North Wales and have dinner at a hotel. I said that it would be cheaper for me to travel to North Wales than to get a taxi to his place.

I asked a couple of weeks ago what time they wanted us there so I could book the taxi and haven't yet had a reply. Apparently DS2 was supposed to have contacted me to say he and his gf would pick us up and bring us back home. I was hoping they would suggest this but didn't like to ask. Gf is a doctor working on covid wards and I don't know what her shifts around Christmas will be, so it seemed a bit much to ask the poor girl to detour to pick us up.

Suggested that DS2 and gf could pick up mum and look after her (and I could go too, if I was well enough). No, I had refused his invitation and was now disinvited. I was being as awkward as possible and trying to upset as many people as possible (and upsetting grandma). I replied that grandma was quite happy to stay at home (alone even). I did have a little cry but mainly because I am so very ill.

I wasn't told my ex would be going until I'd accepted the invitation. I'm at the extreme end of introversion and having been in isolation with just mum for so long, I'm struggling to cope with other people in the house. I love most of the people who were going but being stuck in a house full of people is my idea of hell. Was equally worried at the prospect of DS3 going (he was thinking about it) and his father and both brothers ganging upon him or if he didn't go and they were badmouthing him anyway or ganging up on me (because everything is my fault obviously). 

So the new plan may be me and DS3 having a quiet Christmas together and ordering lots of Indian and Chinese takeaway on Christmas Eve (with lots of books and candles and music and we can watch Terry Pratchett's Snow baby). 

Whilst I've been out this evening, it occurred to me that I catered for 300 people at my own wedding (55 in the afternoon but flowing smoothly into the evening 'do' as people with young children arrived about teatime) with far less fuss than DS1 is making.

Apart from that I'm satisfied with what I've achieved today. Waste wizard agreed a price with DS3 and will come next Monday at 2pm.Several large pieces of furniture out in the backs (rather than just outside the back door), rotten fence dismantled, chinchillas have been mucked out (as grandma I did the baby minding) and I bought a lot of things for the food bank (read the most needed list first) - deodorant, toothbrushes, multipacks of crisp. I will buy cordial and long life milk to fill in the rest of the gaps.

Grateful for keeping the lines of communication open with DS1, getting a lift to town when mum went to her appointment, sitting with my grand-chinchillas whilst DS3 and Beloved dealt with industrial quantities of tiny poos.

f0xh0les

The house is much cleaner and tidier, but the whole day was wasted doing it.

Still not made the Sproutmas Puddings,  but the fruit is happily bathing in sherry so maybe it will happen tomorrow. Maybe Friday.

I know I have C0mmand0 hooks somewhere  - the advert is just mocking me now - but I cannot remember where, so I will buy a pack of 2 tomorrow as that is practically guaranteed to make the other lot turn up.   Then the wreaths can go on the wall.

Beds stripped and remade, bathrooms cleaned, top 2 floors hoovered and properly cleaned,  2 kids wrestled into the bathtub,  recycling beaten into submission, and....... one and a half days of school left until I can turn off the morning alarms - makes no difference, I will still wake up at 5.55 to see what time it is and to check if the alarm has gone off

Made £6 on p/a but spent £2 in Mr T's on emergency  toiletries that had run out - still, more £ came in than went out.

Tomorrow's list  is written. Clothes laid out ready for volunteering tomorrow, menus planned for the rest of the week.  Quite organised really....

f0xh0les

Oooh @mothernerd  do you think he might have 'an announcement' planned? 

Sounds like a bit of an over reaction to a warning you are ill and not seeming to get better, so might not be able to turn up to his glorified roast dinner.   Is he usually quite 'stressy' ?

Of course he could always be planning an Agatha Christie style Sproutmas murder - always a worry when someone decides to get the whole band back together ....  

Thrifty_Taylor

Work went fine today. A colleague could hardly walk, so helped her back to her car, then covered her first part of the day. Took DS3 to the dentist at the hospital after work. Wasn't sure what his appointment was for, as he'd attended his last appointment alone!  It was with the same consultant I saw yesterday. Again no treatment needed at the moment, will keep it under review. Spent the evening sewing, I've now finished all the bits using my machine. Just need to stuff it & attach the hood. Two zips to replace next, then I've finished for the holidays - yippee!
Grateful for the day mostly going well, DS getting on ok at the dentist, sewing jobs nearly all done

mothernerd

f0xh0les said:

Oooh @mothernerd  do you think he might have 'an announcement' planned? 

Sounds like a bit of an over reaction to a warning you are ill and not seeming to get better, so might not be able to turn up to his glorified roast dinner.   Is he usually quite 'stressy' ?

Of course he could always be planning an Agatha Christie style Sproutmas murder - always a worry when someone decides to get the whole band back together ....  

I came within a whisker of being dis-invited to his wedding (again other people upsetting him but I was the one who copped it). He is only sleeping a few hours a day atm (not unusual). The other day, my grand-puppy brought one of his teddies, put it in DS1's lap and then sat down in front of him. The day after he'd progressed to sitting on the couch with DS1, 'cuddling' him and licking his face, trying to make him better. Earned himself a best therapist ever badge.

He tried to get everyone together last year but mum and I and his dad were still isolating. I love all my sons but would much rather see them individually. Two of them together can lead to tension and all three I am on high alert and wondering at which point I yet again interpose myself between 2 of them. They were all present at DS1's party for everyone who couldn't go to the wedding but DS2 and DS3 managed to sit next to each other in the minibus without saying a word to each other and throughout the afternoon, just did a brief nod of acknowledgement whenever their paths crossed.

I'm so not a party animal. One year my then husband dragged my out to the Christmas party at the Centre for the unemployed (he was made redundant just after we married - expected redundancies so I'd done my best to scale back any wedding excess whilst he kept trying to add stuff on, without doing any of the work even though he was the one who wanted to get married).

I knew most of the people there but I'd been trying to get the house straight and had a toddler and 6th month old baby. All I wanted was a hot bath and the chance to wash my hair not to be in a room full of people when I was sweaty and stinky and wearing old tatty clothes, surrounded by people cheerfully getting merry (and we all know how much fun that is when you're not drinking) and sinking deeper into my own gloom - which was noted and commented on. Oh joy.

mothernerd

Thursday 16th December 
Planning and preparation will take you so far but then things go astray (shall we say). It probably won't 'ruin' Christmas unless you have a fixed image in your head of a 'perfect' Christmas but if you go with the flow you'll survive. I've survived 
*   many many childhood Christmases when we all heaved a sigh of relief when dad went to work (triple time and very few customers on the bus - far fewer cars then)
*   the new record player setting on fire on Christmas Day
*   the cats getting into the defrosting turkey (a collaborative effort) and my dad offering to drown them.
*   a month after DS3's pram was smashed apart by a police car whilst he was in it, having near hysterics at Rhyl train station when a bus looked as though it was going to plough into us (bus station was being rebuilt and the buses were using a turning circle in front of the station with only wooden beams separating the bus from prospective passengers. 
*   interrupting Christmas lunch midway through cooking everything to go and retrieve dad from the walk-in centre
*   Ex insisting he had to go to his ex-local for a traditional pint (or six) then deciding (just as we sat down to eat, that he must go and change into his new Christmas waistcoat
*   At least 6 Christmas Eve's when then partner/ husband realised on Christmas Eve that perhaps I might want a present and left to spend the afternoon perusing the possibilities and then celebrating his success in the pub, leaving me to attempt the final cleaning/ tidying and food prep with 3 small overexcited children/ babies underfoot
*  2 successive Christmases when DS2 was ill, didn't want to eat and sat shivering on grandma's lap for most of the day
*  a post divorce Christmas when the ex worked but DS3 was ill and wanted a bath, DS1 refused to pack away the moving dinosaur I'd been helping him build, so that I could put food out. He promptly put a piece in back to front and had a meltdown, which was interrupted by the overflowing bath water coming through the kitchen ceiling 
*   a childhood Christmas when I received 9 sets of hankies (I was a quiet serious little girl who always had a clean hanky but I was quite relieved when people stopped buying me presents)
*   one of the years when I was really ill. DS1 woke me to ask if I could make Christmas dinner (for one moment I thought he was going to offer to do it). When I said I couldn't stand up, he said that he'd been invited to his friend's house for the day so not to worry about him
*   my dad knocking on the door on his way home from the pub, being let in and working his way across the buffet table by pointing, saying what's that, taking one bite before dropping the rest on the his plate (and in one case spitting it out) accompanied by various comments and expressions of disgust, watched avidly by 3 small boys who (for reasons which should be obvious by now) had had very little contact with him.

Despite all this, I've mostly enjoyed/ loved Christmas and have lots of happy memories whilst the bad bits have become enshrined in family lore. I know that lots of people have a difficult time and that it's hard to cope with the enforced jollity (and people self medicating with alcohol and or other substances to persuade themselves they're having a good time) in those circumstances.

My eldest uncle had cancer and we all the doctors were only operating on him 'to make him more comfortable'. The second brother was in hospital having treatment for chronic conditions but was allowed home at weekends. He was at home for Christmas but died unexpectedly on the 23rd December and his funeral couldn't happen until 3rd January so his closest family spent that time together, making the best of things for the 5 and 3 year old grandchildren but locked in grief.

My mother's cousin was only just 16 when her mother died. I remember visiting and the poignant contrast between the festive decorations and the sombre atmosphere (I was only six so knew something bad and sad called 'someone died' had happened). She not only lost her mother, but left school and became a full-time worker who also kept house for her father and younger brother.

So have fun but spare a thought for those in difficult circumstances. 

mothernerd

Another busy day with me limping along doing what I can. Today is the best day of Christmas - the day the cleaners come, both eagerly awaited and cause for trepidation. Whatever happens the house will end the day in a much better state. Possibly another son might not be talking to me (DS). 3 was trying to work out where he and Beloved can 'nest' whilst the cleaners are here.

I was thinking of asking them to start with the bathroom and small bedroom so that
1) DS3 can put the new toilet seat in place
2) Beloved has somewhere to go if things get too much for her
3) all the remaining clothes and bedding can be bagged up and sorted by categories in there (and piled up in the bath, if necessary - they'll sort more quickly if they want a bath and it's full of bagged up bedding and clothes. I have a few cube boxes and could box up any clean pots. It would also give space to move round empty furniture. 

The kitchen is most in need of attention and large bedroom is just full of stuff.

Just hoping any tears are tears of joy.

lcc86

Evening turtles.

Didn't post yesterday but spent on food shopping. Was in the office all day and bought some VERY out of date instant noodles in with me. By the time it got to lunchtime I just looked at them and thought why am I doing this to myself? There's MSE and there's..... this lol. So I bought lunch and lost a NSD. The noodles went in the food bin.

Today has been a NSD. Went on a work visit to see a kid I work with and he told me whilst inside his house that his dad has Covid... the house is massive and dad is self isolating but now I'm panicking that I'll have Covid for Christmas! Nothing I can do but test myself and see what happens.

Also sent off some car insurance claim and PIP forms which I'd needed to do and been procrastinating about for ages.