At the Decree Absolut stage - should I send off paperwork and forget about a clean break order?

dv123

Hi,

As per the title, so I filed for divorce on the grounds of UB back in September 2020. (Marriage was Summer 2019). Marriage broke down within a few months, we were not living together, and I had to wait the 12 months (waited bit longer) before filing for divorce. Respondent ignored all paperwork, ignored me calls and messages etc. Divorce process was delayed until I had to pay for a process server to deliver the petition which was successful.

Fast forward to now, I've waited the 6 weeks and 1 day and can now apply for my Absolut Decree. I know a clean break order/consent order is also recommended, however in my case:
- the respondent has shown to ignore all paperwork related to the divorce
- during the breakdown of the marriage, the respondent demand money from me (for example £10k) for the wedding costs (in my defence I was not involved in planning and had no idea of costs involved). Nothing in writing to say I owe her x amount of money
-short marriage < 1 year, no kids, no assets, no joint bank accounts etc
-marriage ended on bad terms (she may claim emotional distress brought on by me/family)

I have been reading into Clean Break/Consent Orders and it seems both parties have to be in agreement (no chance for the respondent to agree), and also both parties have to give full financial disclosure (I would be wary of this also, as even if the respondent did the same, I may have for example 100k in savings and the respondent may have 20k, the judge may say I have to give them x amount)

I don't think I can recall a single claim of someone who tried to sue their partner years down the line, when their original marriage was 1 year or less with no kids or assets.

Any tips or advise would be helpful, many thanks

-P.s I am using a popular online divorce company, if it makes any differences

TBagpuss

Well, you can still apply for a financial order even after the decree absolute is made, so it doesn't have to be either/or, although sometimes, if the other party also wants the divorce finalised, that can be an incentive for them to cooperate.

An order can be obtained n one of two ways:
-By Consent  (referred to as a Consent Order)  as the name suggests , this is made by consent, so it needs you and her to agree on the terms (e.g. for there to be a clean break) . You both have to fill in a statement of information giving a summary of your finances so the Judge can check that they are happy that the order is fair and so that neither of you can later claim that you agreed the order without being fully aware of the pother person's financial position

-Following court proceedings - one of you applies for a financial settlement, you will both be required to provide full disclosure (more detailed than for a consent order - includes copies of bank statements, pay lips etc) and, if you can't reach an agreement , the Judge ultimately decides what order to make. 

Money spent on the wedding would, if it is still outstanding, generally be seen as a joint debt - so if your spouse paid for the wedding on credit cards or through a loan, then it's reasonable for that to be treated as joint debt and for you both to contribute to paying it off. You jointly had the benefit of the spending. It was your wedding, as a couple - why would it be fair for your spouse to be left with all the debt? You may not have chosen to be involved in the planning but it doesn't sound as though you had agreeed a budget which they then exceeded, or that you had set any kind of limit.

On a practical level it may be worth while considering an offer to make a payment towards the debt in return for a clean break so you can move on knowing they cannot come back and make any further claims against you in future,

Certainly where the marriage was short and childless it would be an uphill struggle for them to satisfy a court that it would be fair for them to have any substantial settlement either now or later, but on the other hand, laws can change, how courts approach settlements can change over time, and there's a otto be said for peace of mind. 

dv123

TBagpuss said:

Well, you can still apply for a financial order even after the decree absolute is made, so it doesn't have to be either/or, although sometimes, if the other party also wants the divorce finalised, that can be an incentive for them to cooperate.

An order can be obtained n one of two ways:
-By Consent  (referred to as a Consent Order)  as the name suggests , this is made by consent, so it needs you and her to agree on the terms (e.g. for there to be a clean break) . You both have to fill in a statement of information giving a summary of your finances so the Judge can check that they are happy that the order is fair and so that neither of you can later claim that you agreed the order without being fully aware of the pother person's financial position

-Following court proceedings - one of you applies for a financial settlement, you will both be required to provide full disclosure (more detailed than for a consent order - includes copies of bank statements, pay lips etc) and, if you can't reach an agreement , the Judge ultimately decides what order to make. 

Money spent on the wedding would, if it is still outstanding, generally be seen as a joint debt - so if your spouse paid for the wedding on credit cards or through a loan, then it's reasonable for that to be treated as joint debt and for you both to contribute to paying it off. You jointly had the benefit of the spending. It was your wedding, as a couple - why would it be fair for your spouse to be left with all the debt? You may not have chosen to be involved in the planning but it doesn't sound as though you had agreeed a budget which they then exceeded, or that you had set any kind of limit.

On a practical level it may be worth while considering an offer to make a payment towards the debt in return for a clean break so you can move on knowing they cannot come back and make any further claims against you in future,

Certainly where the marriage was short and childless it would be an uphill struggle for them to satisfy a court that it would be fair for them to have any substantial settlement either now or later, but on the other hand, laws can change, how courts approach settlements can change over time, and there's a otto be said for peace of mind. 

Thanks for your detailed response. A few thoughts:

- The order by Consent is almost 100% not likely due to the other party having zero interest in this whole process (I guess they just want to move on / bury their hand in the sand)
- Would the other party see the financial statement? That is what is putting me off this method, and also the fact that I sort of want this whole thing to be over as its been ongoing for 14 months so far.

Regarding the debt from weddings, I'm not sure how they paid for this, whether it was on a credit card or paid fully at the time. Everything I have read (including those free legal advise sessions) have told me its near impossible for them to claim this money back from you, unless you signed somewhere that you would be paying half / contributing. I agree that it's not fair for the ex partner to have the debt, but I didn't know what they were booking (partner and their family) and had no idea of costs. You can't spend xyz and then expect the other person to pay you half.

I have been keeping some cash in my account separate which I would have liked to pay towards this cost (lets say its £10k). As that would clear my conscience too. But I would have liked to do it the legal and documented route, i.e in a Consent order that says 'Person A pays Person B £10k, all other finances are what you came into marriage with'. However that legal route seems very unlikely. My only way of sending the money is to just transfer to their bank account (I still have it saved from our time together), although this could be risky?

TBagpuss

Yes, each of you sees the other's fincial disclosure, whether this is the statement of information or more detailed disclosure if things are not agreed. That's the while point - you cannot decide whether a division of assets is fair unless you know what the assets are  in the first place. Nor can a court. (it also ensures that neither of you can later claim that you agreed to a settlement under a mistaken belief about the financial position, as you'll each have signed to say that you have seen the other's disclosure.) 

In terms of debt - the court has no power to redistribute the debt - i.e. they cannot make the credit card company chase you instead of (or as well as ) your spouse, nor can they force you to take out a loan to pay it off.

BUT they can take it into account in the over all settlement - e.g. they can order you to pay your spouse a lump sum, with a view to them being about to use this to pay down the debt (whether they use it for tat s up to them) or, less commonly but still possible, order you to pay maintenance for a set period of time (e.g. if there was a loan with repayments of £100 a month, they can't make you liable to the loan company, but they could make an order requiring you to pay your spouse £50 a month for the remaining term of the loan, so that you would effectively be paying half the loan) 

If you have an order it typically includes clean break provisions - so will say that it is in final settlement of all claims you have against each other, and that each of you is responsible for /retains and liabilities / assets in your sole names except as set out in the order .

You spouse may not be very interested but if you are saying to them that you will pay them £10,000 provided that it is formally set out in an order that may be an incentive for them to cooperate to agree and sign the order. You'd pay them once the order was made by the court, and if at that stage you transferred the money to their account you would have your bank statements as proof you have made payment in accordance with the order .