burnout stress and anxiety

cherryblossom77

This is a long one (sorry) - ive worked for a local authority for 20 years working up from a volunteer to middle management whilst bringing up 4 kids. During this time i did a degree whilst working full time.
Whilst I have had anxiety for a number of years i have had little time off and i guess you could say my anxiety was high functiong. For the last 4- 5 years in my management post, i have had little supervision ( its policy that i receive this every 6 weeks along with notes after each supervision meeting), work is piling up and when i have raised that my predecessor wasnt expected to do elements of the job I am doing i was told that the job "is evolving". I have also had some quite harrowing HR issues to deal with particularly watching a colleague being sent to prison via live link to court as his line manager.There are also lots of blurred boundaries my line manager often contacts me out of hours. This came to a head about 6 weeks ago when everything became too much and I turned to the doctor for help.The dr upped my medication and I sought counselling through a work scheme. the counsellor believes i have burn out which has manifested as anxiety, I have been off 6 weeks i will continue getting full pay up to 6 months. has anyone experienced this? Did you go back? I cant drive past my office without panicking , Ive had to hide my laptop bag in a cupboard and I get severe anxiety when my sick note is due for renewal . Lost all confidence in my work ability and at this point the idea of returning to my job feels impossible. I have transferrable skills and a degree in applied community and youth work but whatever I do next is likely to be a sharp pay drop. Advice or experiences of others is very welcome.

Thrugelmir

Time to look after yourself better. When you leave work switch the phone and lap top off. Take lunch breaks, if at all possible go for a walk however short. Walking is essential for freeing up the mind I've found. Ideas and possible solutions to challenges formulate naturally. Take regular holidays and breaks.  

Most of all remain positive. Stick to your principles. Life isn't all about money. Being happy in whatever you do is important. Change your role if will restore your self esteem and give you self satisfaction for you what you are contributing to the community. . 

MovingForwards

One I stayed and kept pushing myself.

One I got signed off from and quit the morning I was due to go back. I felt instant relief and had planned to not work for a few months but accidentally found a job a few days later; I'd updated my CV and got contacted to see if I was interested in it.

Latest one I knew burn out was coming due to the amount of work and how vastly different each aspect was. Same as you I had no, useful, support and nothing would change. I updated my CV and secured a new role.

Even though I had preexisting health issues, each of the above roles left me with more.

I'm now on proper annual leave for the first time in 3 years.

k3lvc

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

I 'broke' and was signed off eventually taking 7 months including plenty of out-patient time in a local institution funded via healthcare provider

Mine came to a head when discussions started to happen about return to work and I engaged proactively with Occupational Health and explained how I wanted to return and where the issues lay (workload, travel, cultural norms in different parts of global business etc). I may have been lucky but I thoroughly advocate engaging and seeking change and it helped me turn a 20yr career potentially at an end in mid-management to a 30+ year career with the same company and promotion to more senior roles 

Farside71

Resigned from a job I'd been doing for nearly 30 years a couple of months ago because I could tell I was burnt out.  Missed out on a large redundancy which didn't look like it was imminent due to their over reliance on my knowledge, and was the reason I stayed on the last couple of years.  Didn't enjoy a single thing about it, although to be fair, the company had undergone a lot of change so some of that was natural.  In a fortunate financial position I am only doing part time/short term work now in a totally different (lesser paid) field but really enjoying it.

My point is....I was messaging a few of my ex colleagues last week and it sounds even worse now.  They jump straight into telling you the rubbish things that are happening without even realising.  I have absolutely no regrets about leaving.  I could have kept doing it and managing my anxiety about things, but I was struggling to find motivation to do the work, but now I'm outside I can see how toxic it is and would never want to go back.

I briefly opened up my Linkedin for a few days and had about 10 recruiters offering jobs, so I think there is a lot of demand out there for experienced transferable skills, however I don't think I want to go back to my previous career.

Giddypip

I am currently off with depression and feel thoroughly burnt out and am questioning whether I want to continue doing my current profession for the next 20 + years till I retire. Like you, I began to question my ability to do my work and the decisions that I made on a daily basis. 

My line manager has been supportive and I have already spoken to OH and will take advantage of the counselling services available. 

I am learning to say 'no', and am thinking about myself more.

My advice is to take your time, look after yourself, use the services that you are offered, and only go back when you are ready.

TELLIT01

The only advice I can give is to look after your own health and well being above all other considerations.  It is up to the company to get your workload covered while you are off, so don't put any thought into how they are going to manage because they will manage.  Don't be in a rush to get back, or allow yourself to be rushed into going back.

eamon

Until you say NO then you put your own health at even greater risk. The work itself will not care about you and it will either get done or not get done. Please don't take the attitude that only you have the skills/knowledge/expertise. Thats perhaps why you are in your current state. Its a tough jolt of reality to learn & realise that we are in the end truly dispensible and weirdly liberating. Some years ago I was overcome by stress & depression, took me 6 months to return to work but not in the old role. I promised myself that I wouldn't place myself in that position again and I've stuck to that.

Don't forget to take care of yourself.

TELLIT01

It's very rare that anybody is indispensible and, even if they are, that is the company's fault for allowing such a situation to arise.  In this instance the OP is not indispensible as the company has continued to operate in the OPs absence.  That comment is not intended as an insult to the OP, more trying to make them realise that they need to put themself first.

Jude57

Could I just add that, if supervision is supposed to happen every 6 weeks but isn't happening, then it's possible some legal requirements aren't being met. I echo other posters recommending engagement with Occupational Health and if a referral isn't made soon, OP should request one. I'd also recommend that OP is open with their Counsellor, GP and Occ. Health about the lack of supervision in particular, as well as all the other factors they are struggling with.

If you're not already a union member, OP, join today. If you are already a union member, contact your workplace rep or if you'd rather, your regional officer and bring them up to speed on your situation. It's time to make sure you cover your own backside and get all the support you can.

elsien

You don’t need to make any decisions right now. The point of being off sick is to give you breathing space; it may come to alternative careers but that’s a discussion for the future.
I was pressured into stepping down a role when I was off sick in what sounds like similar circumstances to you. In restrospect I do feel that the company pushed me into something when I wasn’t well enough to properly consider it - they gave me a day to decide while I was still off sick and all over the place. The end result may have been the same - it took a long time to get my confidence back again - but I feel I should have been allowed to properly consider my options.

Do what you need to do to become well again. Then make your decision when you see what they’re willing to put on place.