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Unsure whether to buy a present for friend ...
top_drawer_2
Posts: 2,469 Forumite
hi,
I have a friend who is quite poorly at the moment with depression (which I also suffer with) and although we have lived together briefly while at university earlier this year and before that we used to talk on MSN pretty regular. Anyway, at the moment she tends not too contact me for ages, usually via txts or MSN. Atm I havent heard from her for a week so do I buy her a Christmas present? What does everyone else think? and what as I am skint and so can't really afford that much.
Thanks
Jen
I have a friend who is quite poorly at the moment with depression (which I also suffer with) and although we have lived together briefly while at university earlier this year and before that we used to talk on MSN pretty regular. Anyway, at the moment she tends not too contact me for ages, usually via txts or MSN. Atm I havent heard from her for a week so do I buy her a Christmas present? What does everyone else think? and what as I am skint and so can't really afford that much.
Thanks
Jen
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Comments
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Why would you buy her a present if you can't really afford it and if she does not contact you regularly. Instead of buying her a present, why don't you text her a season's greetings or you can phone her to see if she's ok and wish her the best for the coming year. If I were in your shoes, I would not add to her unwanted presents garbage.0
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You could always buy her something very inexpensive that might cheer her up. There are gifts out there for under a fiver and it's the thought that counts.You are obviously a kind and thoughtful person. and as she is feeling down, it can't do any harm. She might be very touched to find that someone cares about her.:AIt's great to be ALIVE!0
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Could you make her a card? It wouldn't cost much and would be personal.
As you know, depression is a horrible illness and she may feel unable to contact you. I know I really struggle to communicate with people when I'm depressed and I've lost a couple of friends over the years for that very reason.
Money isn't the issue here - it's about letting a friend know you are thinking of them. There's many ways of doing that, which don't necessarily involve buying expensive gifts.0 -
Depression could be behind her not contacting you. Many people with bad depression withdraw themselves from contact with others.
To be honest one week is not a long time. Especially this close to xmas many people are way busier than usual.
I'd try contacting her, see if she's ok. This time of year for depressed people can be hell.
Buy her a small gift, you can get lots of really cheap gifts from wilkinsons some costing £2. Its the thought that counts, and if shes really depressed it will probably help her to know someone out there cares.0 -
Id buy her a token gift maybe, like a big mug with some hot chocolate, a bar of choc and a pair of cosy socks, to maybe cheer her up & release some natural endorphins
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Why not send her an ecard with an invite to meet up for lunch?I'd rather have somebody's time than a prezzy any day:D
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"
(Kabat-Zinn 2004):D:D:D0 -
This time last year someone I used to work with was having a tough time, she doesn't work & her husband is a self employed gardener so money was very tight & both were feeling depressed.
Without telling them I ordered a case of their favourite wine to be delivered just before Christmas to help cheer them up, worked a treat too.
Winnings
01/12/07 Baileys Cocktail Shaker
My other signature is in English.0 -
Have you ever exchanged presents? if not, I really wouldn't start now, especially if you are hard up. Perhaps a greetings card.0
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hi,
She lives in Wales (I live in the North West) so meeting up is a problem....
I have bought her a hot water bottle with cute cover and some nice choccie as I know these are both things she will like. Its cost around £9 ish in all, I know she is having a bad time at the moment as Christmas is not an enjoyable time for her at the best of times.
Thanks for all the advice,
Jen0 -
Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]!!!!!![/EMAIL].I am a Senior Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Wales, Small Biz MoneySaving, In My Home (includes DIY) MoneySaving, and Old style MoneySaving boards. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com.All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.0
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