Just about to exchange cold feet

verytired11

kezzygirl said:

Can I ask where in Norfolk it is? I have lived here my whole life apart from short stints in Lincolnshire and cambridgeshire- are there train routes nearby?do you plan to travel to London for work?we do have lots of commuters who save money by moving here and commuting in.

It's the Waveney valley, so technically Suffolk but I have already learnt to describe it as Norfolk when trying to get local services.  It's just south of Beccles - do you know it? 

clearancer

If you are having doubts then it’s time to revisit the property. How do you feel when you drive up? Happy or worried? It’s better to give yourself time to re-think than be stuck with a property that won’t sell when you can’t cope with the remoteness anymore. 

Flugelhorn

verytired11 said:

boxer234 said:

Why did you want to move to the country in the first place ? Do these reasons still stand ? Can you walk on the road to a footpath ? Get a high viz jacket.  Having cold feet is normal new is scary but nearly always worth it. 

So some context around the move - I am making a new start with my partner and we are moving in together.  I did decide I didn't want to live in London for the rest of my life and I really would like to move in with my partner.  However his daughter is 14 and so we need to be near her life (he has her half the week). Although my children are adults now, my younger son has a disability and may be reliant on us for a while.  He is my main worry as he is just starting to get some independence in London and he loves cinema, theatre etc and doesn't drive (and doesn't want to) so he may feel and become very isolated and even more reliant on me to get him around everywhere.  In an ideal world my partner would move in with me for the next few years and then once my younger son was more independent to make the move out of London.  Perhaps I have answered my own question and need to have more of a negotiation with my partner.

I think you have answered your own question - sounds like your son might struggle and become isolated in the new area, agree aim is to get him independent where he is and then plan the move over time

Doozergirl

Flugelhorn said:

verytired11 said:

boxer234 said:

Why did you want to move to the country in the first place ? Do these reasons still stand ? Can you walk on the road to a footpath ? Get a high viz jacket.  Having cold feet is normal new is scary but nearly always worth it. 

So some context around the move - I am making a new start with my partner and we are moving in together.  I did decide I didn't want to live in London for the rest of my life and I really would like to move in with my partner.  However his daughter is 14 and so we need to be near her life (he has her half the week). Although my children are adults now, my younger son has a disability and may be reliant on us for a while.  He is my main worry as he is just starting to get some independence in London and he loves cinema, theatre etc and doesn't drive (and doesn't want to) so he may feel and become very isolated and even more reliant on me to get him around everywhere.  In an ideal world my partner would move in with me for the next few years and then once my younger son was more independent to make the move out of London.  Perhaps I have answered my own question and need to have more of a negotiation with my partner.

I think you have answered your own question - sounds like your son might struggle and become isolated in the new area, agree aim is to get him independent where he is and then plan the move over time

I hate to say it, but I agree.  If you don't
mind being a taxi service, it's fine, but it won't help your son be independent. 

A lot of villages that aren't particularly accessible can have very vibrant social scenes with a village cinema in the church hall and all manner of gatherings etc. but it is as different to London as anything can be.  I found it stifling initially and we were in a very social village, but I had no friends -  we did move closer to a village much closer to a town.  I still need the car a lot but we have a pub and a couple of shops in close walking distance and there is an hourly bus service, plus we're only 25 mins from a major city.  

Even if you're accessible to a town, it would be better for your son.  There isn't the deep breadth you have in London but still plenty to do when you look for it.  

boxer234

That does sound tricky with your son.  I live in a small village but I’m on my own and drive.  I love the idea of being in the middle of no where but it’s not for everyone.  Maybe revisit and look at villages.  

Owleyes00

My two cents is that I agree it might be tricky with your son. I understand he is an adult but the situation reminds me of when I was a teenager and how much I hated the fact we lived in a village and all my friends lived in the main town. I didn’t pass my driving test until I was 23 and that meant that even as an older teenager with theoretical freedom I could never be spontaneous and missed out on a few things my friends would arrange simply because I couldn’t get there or back easily. My parents would always give me lifts anywhere but understandably they couldn’t always drop things to drive me into town and having to get a lift everywhere did feel quite infantilising.

have you asked your son how he would feel about it?

babyblade41

I did it a few years back , moved from Oxford to Carmarthenshire.  

Similar location , no houses ,nearest shop was miles away but I did it on my own .  It was something I had wanted to do for years but children and work made it impossible.

I had only lived in rural areas anyway so the location wasn't too much difference but boy did I suffer from home sickness 

I went 3 months without seeing a soul except the supermarket delivery driver and it messed with my head badly 

I'm glad I did it as I now know it wasn't for me and better to regret the things you have done to regret what you haven't 

I'm back in semi rural village in SE Oxfordshire and although the house was a wreck I was a very happy bunny to be home and back on the silly house price scale again.

I lasted 10 months in Wales and then found a house in Herefordshire before entirely moving back as nothing was available in my price range at the time 

I'm going on the market again next week but now only look local or within about 10 miles.

My advice is go for it , it works for some and possibly would have done for me if I wasn't on my own at the time .  My husband couldn't move as he wouldn't be able to find work  so he did it p/t , weekends and holidays .

It might be the best move ever but even if it isn't at least you know. for sure 

youth_leader

Now you've mentioned your son, I wouldn't do it.  I was always on the road in all weathers driving my kids everywhere and spent many a Saturday night picking them up at all hours - as well as their friends sometimes, who lived on farms miles away from us -sometimes an eighty mile round trip.   

RS2OOO

Can't comment with regards to your personal situation with your son and partner's daughter. Obviously there are good and bad compromises if you move.

The idea of living remotely is bliss to me personally. I have a couple of hobbies which keep me fully occupied no matter where I live so that would support my decision.

London might be bustling with everything on your doorstep, but in many respects it can feel much more isolated than living in the middle of nowhere.
I hate the cr*p that comes out when you blow your nose after a day working/moving around the City.

I think there's more scope to build better friendships living in a remote area but with the freedom to easily avoid people if you so wish.

If it wasn't for a job tying me to London I'd be gone in a flash and my family would be equally keen. But it will only work if all of you are fully committed and ready to embrace the new way of life.

jusferbrowsing

I lived in Hoxne (Norfolk Suffolk border and close to Diss) for many years.

Most of my life I've been based in deep countryside different places in the UK and I love it. Clean air, crisp and fresh, dark nights and SO many stars, wildlife everywhere (I've had deer grazing my lawn quite a few times with foxes and hedgehogs regular visitors), many beautiful market towns and with the broads so close we bought our first boat (moored at Beccles, cheap too).

Downside... shopping, a round trip of x miles, the long dark nights of winter, snow (a 4x4 was a must have for us) but every spring I'd be in awe of the natural beauty of my surroundings. 

Give yourself a chance to adapt and you'll love it.