Sharing bills

susie1997

We are both retired. Me with one state pension he has 3 pensions 2 private and one state pension we have a joint bank account and we each have a sole bank account. We both pay in the Same amount to the joint account everyweek to pay for the outgoings of our flat but he has a lot left over everyweek and I don't have much left over at all. There is not enough left in the pot at the end of 6 months to pay maintenance charges so we both have to top that up leaving me short  Should I ask him to contribute more than me every week ?

susie1997

Ps. We have no children between us. We have been married less than a year 

pollypenny

Are you saying you only have the state pension, yet you contribute half the outgoings?  

Pollycat

susie1997 said:

We are both retired. Me with one state pension he has 3 pensions 2 private and one state pension we have a joint bank account and we each have a sole bank account. We both pay in the Same amount to the joint account everyweek to pay for the outgoings of our flat but he has a lot left over everyweek and I don't have much left over at all. There is not enough left in the pot at the end of 6 months to pay maintenance charges so we both have to top that up leaving me short  Should I ask him to contribute more than me every week ?

I would never have agreed to paying the same amount as someone who has a much larger income than me.

Didn't you discuss finances before moving in together?

biscan25

Pollycat said:

susie1997 said:

We are both retired. Me with one state pension he has 3 pensions 2 private and one state pension we have a joint bank account and we each have a sole bank account. We both pay in the Same amount to the joint account everyweek to pay for the outgoings of our flat but he has a lot left over everyweek and I don't have much left over at all. There is not enough left in the pot at the end of 6 months to pay maintenance charges so we both have to top that up leaving me short  Should I ask him to contribute more than me every week ?

I would never have agreed to paying the same amount as someone who has a much larger income than me.

Didn't you discuss finances before moving in together?

My OH would say the exact opposite, and insists bills are mortgage are split 50/50 despite me earning much more.
I get around it by paying for the majority of the discretionary "treats".

The conversation would be much harder though if she genuinely didn't have enough money at the end of the month. I would make sure she didn't contribute more than she could afford.

pinkshoes

If you do not earn equal amounts then NO WAY should you be contributing equal amounts.

How much are his pensions worth compared to yours??

You need to work out how much needs to be transferred into the joint account and make sure this includes enough money to pay for maintenance charges. Then split this amount fairly in a ratio depending on your incomes.

e.g. if you get £800 a month and he gets £1600 a month, he should be paying 66% and you 33%.

TBagpuss

I think it would be reasonable for you to have a conversation.

A couple of possible options:

1. You each contribute the same proportion of your income - so if you have weekly income of £200 and he has weekly income of £600, and your weekly outgoings are £400, you each pay 50% of your income. So you pay £100, he pays £300. Each of you has the proportion of your income left for personal expenses, but he still has a lot more than you because his over all income is higher. 

2. You effectively pool your resources. Either you pay everything into a joint account and you both use it, or if you prefer, you pay everything into a joint account to use for bills etc. but each of you have a set amount paid into an account in your sole name, for personal spending - e.g. if your total joint income was £500 a week, and your bills etc. were £350 a week, you would have a surplus of £150 so would pay £75 into each of your sole accounts, to spend as you want. That way you each have equal amounts to spend but  each have a private account so can chose to save or spend.

3. Like 2, but with a small adjustment to reflect he fact hat he has the higher income - for instance, if the disposable income after paying for essentials was £150 would might agree that instead of you each having £75, he had £90 and you had £60, to reflect his higher income while giving you both a reasonable about .


Why is he comfortable watching you struggle, given that you are supposed to be a couple?

Savvy_Sue

Is this a second marriage / long term relationship for either of you? 

It's very easy to assume that other people do things (like splitting finances) the same way as we do, and obviously the way we do things is the right and proper way to do things, so it never occurs to us that there might be any other way of doing things (like splitting finances). 

conversation is the way forward ...

Mojisola

susie1997 said:

We are both retired. Me with one state pension he has 3 pensions 2 private and one state pension we have a joint bank account and we each have a sole bank account. We both pay in the Same amount to the joint account everyweek to pay for the outgoings of our flat but he has a lot left over everyweek and I don't have much left over at all. There is not enough left in the pot at the end of 6 months to pay maintenance charges so we both have to top that up leaving me short  Should I ask him to contribute more than me every week ?

Does he care that you are always so short of money?

74jax

When you say leaving you short, is this meaning you are going in debt further every 6 months?

Or that you are using savings?

Do you have savings and he had income from pensions?

How have you got to the stage of moving in without discussing this? 

AskAsk

what are the maintenance charges that you are referring to?  maintenance of the property?

if you are always short then you should discuss with him and explain and ask if he can contribute more to the household bills.