My partner died and I was dependent on his income

Jaywalk28

Sadly my partner passed away about 2 weeks ago from cancer. We have been together over 45 years and were once married for about 5 years. We divorced, lived apart for about 18 months, then got back together, and have 3 children. We meant to remarry this summer as we knew I would not be entitled to any of his pension or bereavement support, but he was too ill and in and out of a local hospice.
I had to give up 3 part time jobs to care for him and my mother with dementia. I get carers allowance for my mother’s care but that’s all now.
We both have/had debts and have been keeping up with monthly payments, he had a good state pension,Smalls private pension and Attendance Allowance in the last 6 months.All stopped.
it’s so wrong and unfair that only wives/husbands/civil partners get any help from the government. We were quite happy being unmarried and it is a farce to marry to get the financial help after death.

Is anyone else in this situation and is in agreement?

Thankyou 

tooldle

Sorry for your loss.
Have you checked with the private pension provider to see if you had been nominated as a recipient on death? 

Tigsteroonie

I'm sorry for your loss.

With regards to the debt, were they joint names or in his name? What is the content of his estate, will they meet his personal debts? How is the house owned? [lots of questions, I know]

BooJewels

I'm sorry for your loss - I too lost my husband to cancer a few weeks ago. 

I don't think that the situation is that much different to be honest, married or not.  I did qualify for the Bereavement Support Payment, which helps and if you got Carer's Allowance for him, you will get that for a further 8 weeks after death - if you're not still getting it paid, ring them about it - I have a feeling that their default position is that they don't offer it voluntarily unless you shout up about it.

State pension is probably the same - I get nothing from my husband's either.  I'm just waiting for that to be assessed by the DWP and they're going to be putting it in writing, as it's complicated, depending on when he paid what specifically.  But the initial assessment is that I don't get a penny of it either.  He'd paid full NI for 48 years.

In respect of the private pension, as @tooldle mentioned, that's certainly worth checking out - he might have nominated you as his beneficiary.  But I think that gets more complicated if he's already been drawing from his pension.  My husband wasn't claiming his yet, so I did get all his pensions paid as a lump sum and one of them had a life insurance policy attached.   Even as his spouse and a nominated beneficiary, I still had to jump through hoops to prove my ID and that I was the only financial dependent.  So that might not be a quick or simple process.

Also check if he had a workplace pension he contributed to, in recent years.  One of them I only got 72 quid from, but they did point out that it included 3p interest.  Although that did pay out within 2 weeks and with minimal fuss.

My husband was getting PIP and ESA and was slightly overpaid at the point he died and they clawed back every penny to the day he died, so that all stopped instantly for me too.  I don't think marital status is entirely the issue here - it's just horrible, either way.  But certainly chase the private pension and Carer's Allowance.

Keep_pedalling

As others have said check out his pension with the pension trustees.

Did your partner make a will? If not your children will inherit his estate as long as it not insolvent. Any debt in his sole name is the responsibility of his estate to meet, but it could effect you if any of it is secured against your home. Unsecured dept is only payable if there are sufficient assets remaining after funeral costs have been met.

Did you own a home together? If so you will now own it outright if you held it as joint tenants, but his share will form part of his estate if you held it as tenants in common. 

You might find it helpful to talk to someone at the bereavement charity Cruse, and the second link may be of help with the funeral costs.

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

https://quakersocialaction.org.uk/we-can-help/helping-funerals/down-earth

Keep_pedalling

Jaywalk28 said:

it’s so wrong and unfair that only wives/husbands/civil partners get any help from the government. We were quite happy being unmarried and it is a farce to marry to get the financial help after death.

Is anyone else in this situation and is in agreement?

Thankyou 

The problem with a partnership that has not been formalised through marriage or civil partnership is that there is no way of demonstrating that it is a per infant set-up. If a partner for instance could claim a spouses pension rights from an old fashioned defined benefits scheme, would it be claimable the week after they moved in together, a year after or 10 years after?

The fact that couples can now opt for a civil partnership to take advantage of the benefits of being a married couple I think makes it fair.

Marriage or CP offers a great deal of advantages especially to couples with substantial net worth who will avoid Inheritance tax on the first death, but I think most long term partners who don’t take either option do so because they simply don’t investigate the consequences of not doing so, and the majority of those also fail to make provision for the survivor by making a will (intestacy rules leave nothing to a partner) or taking out sufficient life insurance (assuming they can afford it).

Keep_pedalling

Have you reached SP age yourself yet? If not have you got a forecast for how much you will receive?

Username03725

Jaywalk28 said:

it’s so wrong and unfair that only wives/husbands/civil partners get any help from the government. We were quite happy being unmarried and it is a farce to marry to get the financial help after death.

Is anyone else in this situation and is in agreement?

Thankyou 

As you asked, no I've not been in that situation, and no I don't agree. Marriage is a social contract that's existed in various forms since almost forever, and there are good reasons for it to exist in all its forms across many societies around the world. You chose to opt out, or rather chose not to opt in, so you can't really complain about not being able to take advantage of the benefits. 

These occasional posts are useful though, serving as they do to highlight the need to have ones affairs in order before it's too late.

NBLondon

Sorry for your loss and your awkward situation but...

Jaywalk28 said:

it is a farce to marry to get the financial help after death.

I can see why many might think of that as devaluing marriage.  But equally if you don't think marriage is important then why not go through the legal minimum to protect each other.  How long were you together in the second phase after divorce and reconciliation?   That was the time to write wills, check pension schemes etc..  You left it very late and have been caught out.

Torry_Quine

Having lost my husband to cancer you have my sympathy. Bereavement allowance isn't a lot anyway.
You did however have lots of time to remarry and for whatever reason chose not to.
You may be entitled to universal credit presuming you don't have £6,000 savings. 

eamon

For a few years now I've telling my friends that are in long term relationships to get married/civil partnered. It solves many potential issues at the stroke of a pen. The proverbial bus waits for no one.