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Are the roles of POA and carer being mixed up here, ie you have the POA so have to abide by certain rules/responsibilities in terms of the gentleman's spending but, alongside that, he also needs help and support. As POA could you bring carers on board to help meet Mr M's needs, however the problem you have is can you yourself be the carers and be paid? If not, could you sign up a care agency to at least give you and your husband a break.
Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time