Live-in doesn't think he should contribute to the bills

Pixie5740

Bookgal88 said:

My boyfriend owns his own flat. I sold my flat 6 months ago, and I'm due to complete on my new place next week (fingers crossed). We lived together previously and plan to again, but something he's just said is bothering me. He's planning to rent his flat when we move back in together, but hasn't set any of the wheels in motion (sorted out his BTL mortgage, listed it online, made sure all his documents are up to date etc.). So until he does all of those things, we're planning to live at my place, and his flat will be empty, but he'll have to pay his mortgage, standing charges etc. 

He seems a bit narked that I expect him to pay his half of the bills from the day he moves in with me because he'll still have to keep paying the bills at his flat until it's rented out. As far as I'm concerned:

• most things will be more expensive if we're both there, so why should I be paying for what he's consuming? If he doesn't want to pay for two places, he can live at his flat until his tenant moves in and then move into my flat.
• he could have started making preparations for renting his flat out before now so that things lined up better, but as it is, it might be a couple of months rather than a couple of days that I'm footing all the bills at my place. 
• His salary is about double mine, so I feel like paying all the bills will affect me disproportionately. 

He says I'm approaching this like it's a business deal and that he feels like I'm taking advantage of him if I ask him to pay towards the bills at my house (where he'd be living) while he still has bills to pay at his own flat until its rented. Am I bonkers and selfish or is he?

I'm slightly confused.  If you sold your home 6 months ago and haven't yet bought a new home where are you living just now?  Once his place is let where is he going to live because you said "until he does all of those things, we're planning to live at my place," so what happens once he has done those things?

What is the long term plan here?  

Bookgal88

Pixie5740 said:

Bookgal88 said:

My boyfriend owns his own flat. I sold my flat 6 months ago, and I'm due to complete on my new place next week (fingers crossed). We lived together previously and plan to again, but something he's just said is bothering me. He's planning to rent his flat when we move back in together, but hasn't set any of the wheels in motion (sorted out his BTL mortgage, listed it online, made sure all his documents are up to date etc.). So until he does all of those things, we're planning to live at my place, and his flat will be empty, but he'll have to pay his mortgage, standing charges etc. 

He seems a bit narked that I expect him to pay his half of the bills from the day he moves in with me because he'll still have to keep paying the bills at his flat until it's rented out. As far as I'm concerned:

• most things will be more expensive if we're both there, so why should I be paying for what he's consuming? If he doesn't want to pay for two places, he can live at his flat until his tenant moves in and then move into my flat.
• he could have started making preparations for renting his flat out before now so that things lined up better, but as it is, it might be a couple of months rather than a couple of days that I'm footing all the bills at my place. 
• His salary is about double mine, so I feel like paying all the bills will affect me disproportionately. 

He says I'm approaching this like it's a business deal and that he feels like I'm taking advantage of him if I ask him to pay towards the bills at my house (where he'd be living) while he still has bills to pay at his own flat until its rented. Am I bonkers and selfish or is he?

I'm slightly confused.  If you sold your home 6 months ago and haven't yet bought a new home where are you living just now?  Once his place is let where is he going to live because you said "until he does all of those things, we're planning to live at my place," so what happens once he has done those things?

What is the long term plan here?  

We've both been living with our respective families in the 6 months since I sold my own flat. 

He's going to live with me once his flat is let, but the plan is that he'll move in with me before his flat is occupied.

thorsoak

Bookgal88 said:

Pixie5740 said:

Bookgal88 said:

My boyfriend owns his own flat. I sold my flat 6 months ago, and I'm due to complete on my new place next week (fingers crossed). We lived together previously and plan to again, but something he's just said is bothering me. He's planning to rent his flat when we move back in together, but hasn't set any of the wheels in motion (sorted out his BTL mortgage, listed it online, made sure all his documents are up to date etc.). So until he does all of those things, we're planning to live at my place, and his flat will be empty, but he'll have to pay his mortgage, standing charges etc. 

He seems a bit narked that I expect him to pay his half of the bills from the day he moves in with me because he'll still have to keep paying the bills at his flat until it's rented out. As far as I'm concerned:

• most things will be more expensive if we're both there, so why should I be paying for what he's consuming? If he doesn't want to pay for two places, he can live at his flat until his tenant moves in and then move into my flat.
• he could have started making preparations for renting his flat out before now so that things lined up better, but as it is, it might be a couple of months rather than a couple of days that I'm footing all the bills at my place. 
• His salary is about double mine, so I feel like paying all the bills will affect me disproportionately. 

He says I'm approaching this like it's a business deal and that he feels like I'm taking advantage of him if I ask him to pay towards the bills at my house (where he'd be living) while he still has bills to pay at his own flat until its rented. Am I bonkers and selfish or is he?

I'm slightly confused.  If you sold your home 6 months ago and haven't yet bought a new home where are you living just now?  Once his place is let where is he going to live because you said "until he does all of those things, we're planning to live at my place," so what happens once he has done those things?

What is the long term plan here?  

We've both been living with our respective families in the 6 months since I sold my own flat. 

He's going to live with me once his flat is let, but the plan is that he'll move in with me before his flat is occupied.

And what plans have you drawn up once his flat is let?    Personally,  I would suggest that he remains with his family until you are both satisfied that what you jointly plan is fair and equitable for you both.