A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Spendless

It's been a week since I lost my job and have I missed it - Nope, Zilch, not one tiny bit. I miss the wages it was providing but I will only feel the impact of that next year. What I have felt is the missing of the sinking feeling early on in the weekend, followed by relief that it wasn 't there and then relaxation. Yesterday I couldn't remember if it was Thursday or Friday and had to check. I do regret not getting in first and handing my notice in prior to review till the end of December which would have given me the whole month of pay rather than 2 weeks but I was just being naïve and optimistic I think.

What I have been able to do this week is catch up with friends, wrap quite a lot of presents and start de-cluttering DD's room. She has a heap of clothes she wishes to sell and since I also want them out of the way I'm more than happy to start this process of gathering everything together. I started yesterday and hoping to finish either today or early next week.  Tomorrow me and DH are joining friends and going to a Christmas market. The friends are staying overnight in hotel, we were commuting by train and coming back that day because I had no AL to take so would have had to return to work on Monday.  When I lost my job DH pretty much said 'stuff it, we're doing something different now as I'm not letting the AM continue to affect our lives' arranged for a relative to have the dog  and booked the hotel o/night with  our friends. We have enough  money to do this with, though I am seeing it as a Christmas treat.  

Yesterday was almost a NSD. I nearly posted about it. I even went in the bath early evening, washed my hair  and put  my PJs on to prevent me going out and spending anything. I ate what we had in the house - which is diminishing cos of running freezer down ready for Christmas stock. Then later DD messaged me and asked if I hadn't already done it could I send her over the £20  I said I'd reimburse her for (for a gift). The night before I had sent her £10 to get some iron tablets as she said she was struggling with energy levels and had been trying to wean herself off propping it up with energy drinks which weren't helping the acid reflux she has. DD doesn't always eat the healthiest, add in that she is both vegetarian and can be faddy which is why she can struggle.  Her classes till 8pm at night that she's been doing won't have helped either and of course meant she's continued to struggle to find work. She says she'll try and look in Jan. After sending the £10 of Thurs evening, DD then discovered that the small nearby Tesco didn't sell iron tablets anyway. I had suggested she also buy some cereal and milk as the traditional ones eg weetabix, shreddies etc) do contain  iron and I've found they're one of the few foods that list iiron content on the nutritional info.  DD doesn't have much money left for the rest of term but is being picked up by DH in a week's time anyway, so just has till then to get through. She told me she'd skipped having Xmas lunch at college cos she thought the £10 they were asking was extortionate (lol). I would have treated her if I'd known. Getting her organised foodwise  is on the agenda for her return in 2024. She said the canteen prices are expensive and needs to be more organised taking her own food. My last job I always took my equivalent of a meal deal to work. Main being sandwich/salad. Side might be mini chicken skewers with a dip or cheese and crackers then a dessert usually a sugar free jelly, sometimes a scone plus a drink. I'm quite confident we can set up DD's room with enough ambient stuff to get through the first few weeks, she'd just need to add the fridge items

 After getting a message asking how to cook an egg - this is her 3rd time of living away - so goodness knows what she's been eating! I explained the steps of both poached and boiled and she sent me a pic later and it looked lovely. Hmmm maybe it was from the internet - hahhahahaha, In fact I've gone back and double checked since that thought entered my head but nope the plate is def hers. I bought  her more distinctive kitchen stuff to spare the arguments in a shared kitchen about whose is whose! She said she bought sourdough as that was all the shop had left. If this is correct then I'm impressed because there's a hipster coffee shop near us that sells brunch and I've only ever tried sourdough there and think it's name is quite apt! 

£100 has gone out for CC2 which is the min repayment. I have moved £300 into my savings account which is building up to pay this off. The further £300 that  also  goes into savings to pay this off comes out later this month. The monthly £80 SO that pays back the debt that couldn't be transferred to a 0% CC went out at the beginning of the month. DH is looking at sorting out his clothing account in the same way this month. I will update actual figures before the end of 2023. I have already  seen them on a spreadsheet and I do feel it's going to be around May before I feel we're at light at the end of the tunnel stage - which currently seems still a long way off

Spendless

We are back from our overnight stay that I enjoyed very much. Glad we were able to stay overnight because there was disruption on rail network yesterday mostly due to weather and don't know if we'd have got there otherwise. 
Hotel was nice and we had a buffet breakfast this morning half price in return for joining their loyalty club. Didn't buy anything at the Xmas Markets, I already have the majority of presents anyway, purely spent on food and drink. As it was grey and drizzling when we arrived we eventually made our way to a pub that had 2 cocktails for £10 and that worked out cheaper than the round in the shopping centre that DH had paid for which was 4 alcoholic drinks (wine, beer, mulled wine) plus 2 non -alcoholic hot chocolates! , 

Later we had an Indian meal, where we had poppadums' and pickle tray, each had a main meal and side and 4 had an alcoholic drink and came to £22.50 a head. The owner on hearing we'd visited due to a recommendation of a mutual friend then gave us all a complementary nightcap in a shot glass. 

DH is returning to work this afternoon, and as I don't feel like doing anything too energetic think I'll resume wrapping presents. Am also waiting to hear news of Dad's cataract operation that he's had today. 

Spendless

If I hadn't persuaded DH to go and get some drink (not alcohol) and a snack last night we'd have both achieved a NSD (a rarity!). Looking to 2024 we are going to look at each category of spending and agree amounts.


The American cheque for DH flight reimbursement has now appeared in our account. Took about 10 days to clear and cost £28! DH did think to add on a charge for this to his expenses this time. With the money cleared, we then went through the monthly CB CC. Payment is due Jan 1st, so we need to pay early to allow for the BHs. Not yet though as interest hasn't been applied to our savings accounts. This will happen at the end of the week and I've had a think about this. I believe (I might be wrong) that they apply interest on what the  savings amount is at the time - or possibly at the end of the previous working day - rather than how much has been in all month. I could be totally wrong, but this week I am trying a little experiment and moving every available £ from the current accounts into savings the day before and then putting the amount back once the interest has been applied. Going to give it a go and see what happens. 

DH at long last got his Debit card for opening up the HSBC account. We've never tried one before as we're happy with our current provider and not interested in closing our account. This one you didn't have to. I've had a fresh read through of what you need to do next to ensure you get the money. 

Currently I am working my way through the freezer with meals. After tonight's chicken curry, the only meat I have left is 1 chicken breast, 5 meatballs and 4 sausages.

 It's then only me for the rest of the week as DH working away and will return with DD on Saturday. As I also have an invite to eat at my parents tomorrow think I can manage on what's left. Even though we're eating out Xmas day, we have DS and DiL coming over a few days later so want space to buy some festive food. 

Spendless

Yesterday would have also been a NSD for me if I hadn't gone out to get my Nan a chunky slice of Christmas cake from a baker near where I was last working (I'd previously thought I'd pick up during my lunch), the roads were busy when I set off - school run time plus bin lorries and when I got there discovered the bakery closes even before I set off! As I felt this had then been a waste of my time and petrol, I called to get a giftbag and picked up snacks (tired and hungry emotional eating!) I know this in total barely amounts to £10  this week  but not the point- It would be better used elsewhere 

Today I WILL be doing a NSD cos mid afternoon I intend doing my theory of moving everything to savings accounts and see what if any difference it makes for tomorrows interest. I've already tilly tidied the accounts in anticipation..

Tonight the last of the Christmas presents will be ordered on the CB CC. That is garden path lights for parents - because despite the cataract op Dad had this week and his eye still feeling blurry he is still walking down the garden to cook chips in the garage!  A blender that's a request from DS/DIL as something to unwrap, they do have some other items that they aren't aware of but their main present is us paying both of their phone contracts for this year and some stocking filler bits for DD as well as DH getting his Dad the other half of his present (the only person DH shops for other than myself). If we hadn't already decided we were buying these items, with the exception of FIL we would be in a position to say we'd now wouldn't be buying anymore but we had already budgeted for these additional items.


I think I've realised the reason I'm not feeling as motivated. We only really got behind tackling the debt at the beginning of the year  when DH got onboard despite this diary being started in Sept 21! We then saw the mini goals achieved of the mortgage being cleared, saving for student rent for the 1st time out of wages instead of savings, our overdrafts cleared and later CC1 gone. Now the remaining debt has all the same DFD of mid-late summer 2024. I think I need some mini-goals to break it up. Not sure what yet as I need to take into account I have no wages till I find another job  and DD to support from a different source. 

EssexHebridean

It is hard to keep motivation going once the main big milestones are ticked off - I think  most folk have found that to be honest.  You will still have the percentage of "debt gone" between now and then though - maybe work out when you would be due to hit the 50% of the remainder gone, and then see if you can challenge yourself to beat that? That is then immediately something to focus your mind back full on the debt busting, perhaps?

Spendless

The NSD didn't happen because mid afternoon a friend messaged me and said realised it was short notice but did I want to meet up with her. The last time we were due to meet was the day before I lost my job and she cancelled as unwell. I contemplated refusing but then decided it was probably better for my MH  to go out . Friend is a Queen of  vouchers, discounts, loyalty schemes etc so when I told her my circs straight away came up with places that did offers or she had a voucher for or suggested we just got a coffee. We decided to walk to a carvery and use a discount code she had.. She paid for the meal, I paid for drinks (2 diet cokes). We both commented on how when using a debit card in the pub it asked if we wished to leave a tip - this wasn't when someone  served us, this was at the bar ordering a drink and then ordering the meal. My friend said she's seen it in shops too though I haven't. I did come across it in the States recently when buying the Disney tickets from the hotel concierge but just thought it was that country's culture. I said to friend if this is going to become the norm (why?? is it to balance out the card fees or is it being passed onto staff?) then I think I will start using cash more. There's some Independents I use that prefer/only use cash  due to  the debit card fees they are charged.

On the way home we called in Aldi and I bought a box of mini ice-creams and we ate them as our dessert on the way back. I'm glad I went. It has fallen this way a lot that our meet -ups have been when I've been in-between jobs and she's paid the lion's share   so I am making myself a promise that as and when I get another job, our meet up is on me.

Interest got paid to the savings accounts today around 3am, I'll ask DH to check my figures but I don't think my theory of having as much as possible in the day before made any difference - which makes sense, but as DS used to do when trying it on as a child, if he got refused his request he would then say 'worth a try' hahhahaha. I have moved the interest all into the account where DD's student expenses come from. It means we have got  roughly 25% of what we send her per month already and will get eh same again before she returns, so approx half found already. I am hoping that the wages I will receive in Jan will  make it enough for  the remainder of DD's rent. It is £4K and I currently have £3K saved towards it. I have worked out I don't need to have an actual payday in Feb but I do need to have a job in this month, so I have wages going forward to help with these expenses.

Speaking of figures and percentages, thank you so much EssexHebridean for your reply and suggestion. It's also reassuring to hear that most go through this stage too. Going to double check the figures with DH but at first glance 50% paid off  remaining debt is in Mid April. We have staggered points where money is paid out and saved during the month towards this - no idea why, just seems to have happened. DH payday is the last working day of the month (which I always found more irritating than a set date  that just allowed for w/ends) the initial  bill (the SO back to my savings for money for CC debt that couldn't be put on a 0% deal) goes out on the 1st. A week later the min is paid off of CC2 and a week after that money into savings accounts that will eventually pay off CC2. This takes us to the middle of the month when interest is applied to savings accounts and around then we work out anything put on our current CB CC and pay it off once the interest has been applied to our savings accounts. This means during a month the best date to give an accurate figure of where we're at is the penultimate working day of the month, so I think that will be my aim on here for  debt updates.   For mini goals - other than find a new job! We need to set budgets for each category of expenditure and also return to my thinking of starting to get jobs done in the house and the way we finance it. Also get to the bottom of my pensions that are scattered everywhere and make a new appt with the financial advisor about it.

 DD is home tomorrow from Drama school.  DH is working in the Midlands and as there's some sort of meet up afterwards for Christmas his workplace is paying for his hotel overnight , so he's using the opportunity to stay in the hotel till check-out time tomorrow  and then go and collect  DD and fetch her home. I sent over a list me and DD could do in the run up to Christmas that is free/low cost and includes decorating the Xmas tree which I'll probably also get DiL involved with - not me, my attempts used to be awful, I don't have a creative/artistic bone in me. I have a friend who each year wraps her decorated tree in cling film and sticks it in the garage to save having to do it - If I had a garage I'd do the same! Also suggested a pamper night with products we already have in. Since the beginning of the year I have not bought anything new toiletry wise unless  I have 100% used up every bottle/sample/mini I have. I'm not quite at the end of my stash so will be continuing into 2024. 

Plans for today, I need a grocery shop. As I went out last night, I still have meatballs to use up and there's 1 chicken breast left though that is showing signs of freezer burn. If I think it's unpalatable (rather than unsafe) it is destined for the dog. I also need some Christmas cards for the people I still send to and to get my Nan the Christmas cake so I can finally wrap her present and I can tick some more Christmas prep off my list. 

MatyMoo

Delurking to say I move every spare penny in my non interest bearing current account to my savings account the day after all my bills go,out. Then drip feed it back through the month. I have been doing this for the past 3 months and have noticed a difference in the amount of interest I receive.  It does mean I am checking bank balances daily to make sure I haven’t forgotten a direct debit though!

If I build up more than an extra £100 in the savings account at the end of the month I move it in to my higher rate saver. 

Spendless

Thanks for the delurk and suggestion MatyMoo. The disadvantage I would have is our bills don't all come out at once but the advantage I have is our bank shows the pending processes for the end of the following working day for DD and debit purchases (unsure about SO - but we only have one that comes out on the 1st) eg I buy something on my debit card today it would show up pretty much straight away as pending for Monday 18th and only actually go through at the end of that day usually around 5pm. The bank app will also show how much you are in credit/debit by. I use this facllity the night before DH gets paid to throw every penny into savings.  So I could do this I would just need to be very disciplined to check every day and move money back accordingly. Definitely what I could do though is move  £400 debt repayments into the savings account as soon as payday is here rather than it sat in the current account waiting for the day it transfers elsewhere (the additional £300 is already moved to savings whilst we open a higher interest account). The same is true of the CB CC we work out the monthly amount put on it and the various accounts it comes from but then don't pay it until interest has been applied. That money should all be sat gaining interest whilst we pay. I create a spreadsheet each money listing it so no reason to get muddled.

 I'm going to talk all this through with DH and make sure he's being attentive to what I say as he does have a tendency to do otherwise! My friend I went to the carvery with the other day  was talking about her own husband being similar and not thinking for himself  if she can provide the answer. She told me of a time when her DH asked where the Viennetta was (ice cream for the uninitiated) So, she answered 'top shelf, kitchen cupboard' and he went and looked there  for it (hahahahahaha) before coming back in the living room and saying to my friend 'did she have to be sarcastic' so friend said that since he knew what Viennetta was as he'd asked for it and they only had 1 freezer why couldn't he fathom it out himself. Later I intend telling DH this story and he asks me anything daft again or asks me something we've already had a conversation about I am going to call it a Viennetta conversation -lol. 

Yesterday I forgot to get Christmas cards. I think it must be my least favourite Christmas chore since I'm late with it each year, so now have to shop on a weekend! My own fault so can't complain.

Spendless

Started to type a reply this morning, got distracted and lost the post! Wind is howling, Dog is convinced an invisible postman has been sent to rattle the letterbox to wind him up and is barking about it!

Yesterday I had an interview and wasn't successful, something I suspected during and just after the interview.  I have resigned myself to looking for temping work instead in the New Year. Still kicking myself for just being too trusting at my last place and not getting my notice in first to give me a couple more weeks pay. I would have broken up for Christmas yesterday lunchtime.

Our tree is up but isn't decorated - mostly because I am not the one making loads of noises about it being done or doing it myself.. A point I made the other day  when I discovered 3 ubereats going out of our account I knew nothing about and the culprits being DH and DD, said I should be as 'come day, go day'  as they all are to give them a taste of what it's like to be on the receiving end and am making my point with the tree. Let's see how long it remains undecorated for! 

Had my car in for some work done the other day, things that were picked up at MOT but weren't a fail. Garage owner says to see how it goes with the oil leak sorted but he thinks the head gasket may be on the way out and if he's correct then it's time to say goodbye cos at 18 years old it isn't worth this level of repair. Was happy with the £80 repair bill. 

All family presents are bought but DD needs to get her friend something. She thought she could sort it later in the New Year but has found out that friend is giving DD hers tonight so wishes to do the same, only all her money is accounted for due to her trip away. Going to do my best to create something from a couple of items I have in plus using some loyalty points and avoid using real money as much as possible.

Me and DH nipped into town yesterday, missed the free parking as 8 minutes early. I'd have driven round till time up first DH wasn't prepared to in case there were then no spaces, wish I'd thought about it before setting off, paid for an hour instead which cost £1.50 . DH went to the bank to sort  something out that he needed to do with  opening the HSBC account that gave you some money for doing so. At the same time I paid in the £80 I had saved in found loose change that is able to make our DFD change from 1st Sept to July 31st (so long as DH sorts the clothing account out!) I  also called into 2 different places to get DD £50  worth of Swedish money -only to find it has to be specially ordered in, they don't keep it in stock as too low a demand. I've  had a text in the last hour to say it's ready to be picked up.  Before going to the bank I started sorting my loose change into the correct denominations the bank will accept to pay in  and as I scrambled around trying to find the last 50 and 20pences in my purse to swap over, I also thought about the numerous coin purses I own and how to use them more efficiently next year for various different things. I opened one and this is the complete truth discovered £30 in notes I'd forgotten about! I really can't remember how or why it's there - I'm leaning towards it was unspent birthday money as I really can't think what I did with any I received. Offhand I can't think of anything I would like and pointless to buy anything before Christmas anyway I shall just leave it till I see something 

CB CC was paid yesterday, needed to do it to ensure met correct due date due to BHs. I will do a round up of exactly what is still outstanding next week to post on here. 

Spendless

Merry Christmas everyone.

I said a few posts back that the penultimate working day of the month is the last I can give an accurate update for. So here goes plus a round up of the year

CC1 - paid off 
Mortgage - paid off
My overdraft - £500 - paid off 

Joint overdraft - £1000 - paid off with the caveat 'most of the time'. We sometimes, such as, this month don't quite make it to the end of the month by a day - on those occasions I do borrow from savings to pay it back and there's usually a reason behind it. 
DD's student rent - Easter paid in full from wages, ditto October, currently have 3/4 of Jan's rent, waiting for last paypacket to know if I can reach full amount from wages.
CC2 £8605 but with £3600 in bank accounts to pay this off so £5005
Monthly standing Order back to my savings for CC debt that wasn't able to be BTto new 0% CC - £640 (8 months x £80). This should really be 9 months but I saved loose change I found and paid £80 back into my savings already. The 8th payment due to go out on 1st August 2024 can be adjusted nearer the time to being paid a day early so the DFD is July 31st.
DH clothing account - He forgot to  look at this account in time. I think it's around £453. However the day I reminded him, was the day payment  went thru and he was horrified to discover of the £21ish min payment he'd made, I think £15 was in interest! That should  focus his mind to sort it for next month!

We have made more headway this year than since I started this diary. Ok paying off the mortgage helped, as did just seeing my wages as a vehicle to pay DD's student rent. Getting DH onboard though was key and us agreeing that looking for a 0% BT was the way forward and just dipping into savings for the rest and making a plan to replace them.

Plans for 2024.
Become DF.
Find a new job! -  I need to be back in work during Feb. January here is traditionally a poor month for job seeking (I've had several jobs end in December to know this!), so think I may occupy my time with various household tasks instead till the market picks up.
Work towards having a month bills money in advance in current account - possibly have to wait till have to DFD to build this up.  We have gone into our o/draft  by a day today as we still buy DD any essential clothing and she needed items  for her Swedish trip.  We went in Boxing Day sales to keep the cost reasonable  Usually this expense would come from my earnings, but I can't currently spend anything due to losing my job and next month's student rent due, so went into overdraft, have cleared it from savings, but will need to see how Jan goes to decide whether this is an expense that can be paid back if possible 

DD has gone to Sweden today. She received money for Christmas from Grandparents plus I gave her the remainder of what I'd allocated to her from my Nan's inheritance. Her and friends have planned an itinerary and intended buying some alcohol in duty free and drinking in their apartment before going out. 

Today I have arranged to go with a friend for a walk to the next village after she finishes work at lunchtime. Be good to blow the cobwebs away, and is free.  NYE we are hosting but not worried about cost. We are thinking of 2 different curries, I meat, 1 vegetable. We have plenty of alcohol in just need mixers and a small pack of beer as DH can't spend the night drinking  spirits. We have asked DS and DiL to join us during the day too so we can spend time with them and they can also help us prep as they were at DiLs parents over Christmas. They visited us yesterday and we exchanged gifts and DD had us play a card game - the polite version calling it Liar, that she's very good at. DS called her out thinking she was hesitating only to discover she was double bluffing. He said how good she was at lying - we all pointed out she's at drama school cos she's good at acting - hahahaha! 

Have a good New Year everyone.