A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

dawnybabes

That’s rubbish, but sometimes it takes something like to this to realise how much more you are worth.  

Spendless

Thank you dawnybabes.

For several weeks I had been getting Sunday night sinking feeling , which was starting during Saturdays when I was thinking to the following day and how this feeling would start.. I was only ever truly relaxed on Friday nights with the whole of the weekend before me. I put it down to me working f-time outside of the home whereas prev I'd  had a p-time job, WFH most of the time and didn't work Mondays, along with I didn't have any more  AL to do anything due to having to save hols for Xmas shutdown, so I expected the Sunday night feeling to be absent yesterday, what has come as a shock to me is the relief I've felt about it not being there. When I told DH this he said that summed it up. 

Today I am going to see a friend, not sure yet what if anything I'll spend, but will do my best to keep it minimal. Looked through my Christmas presents last night and will wrap the remaining  ones this week.  

Yankee24

I’m really sorry.  Go easy on yourself.  You will find something.  You are resilient 

Spendless

Thanks yankee24. 

Yesterday evening I came to the thought (that had already been flagged to me by at least one other) that I had been set up to fail for weeks. It would explain why a 3rd person was fetched in the week I went on hol. This person (a lovely bloke) seemed to be filling a role that had been unoccupied since April when someone left. I genuinely thought it had been because it had been acknowledged that they needed another pair of hands in that dept now I'm not so sure. The account manager was also reading every email I sent from the shared inbox and then ringing me up about it - to the point that I either started ringing up diff departments instead or asking directly if I saw them. There was a time when I was sent an email from the accounts manager basically saying I must have done something wrong. On double checking I discovered I hadn't she had just made incorrect assumptions. Even last week my supervisor sent out a  daily job list to everyone mine read to do invoicing first, followed by emails then other tasks. I hadn't got to the end of the invoicing when I was sent 3 emails one after each other saying 'on the back of supervisors email', has this been dealt with' after I answered the first 2, I replied politely that I had been given a task list to do hadn't quite finished the first one and going thru the emails was next on the agenda - I didn't receive a reply back. I was also finding some holes in their processes such as some overseas delivery notes that no one seemed to have done since the person doing them left in April and  where timesheets weren't being accurately sent in and accounted for. It was however my fault that the hours didn't add up - according to accounts manager, who had me spend hours looking for them so I fell behind with other tasks that I'd then be asked why I hadn't done them.

In the last 12 months the supervisor (who was lovely) had had 6 months off due to MH,  my predecessor left (and I never really got to the bottom of why) plus the other person in the office handed in their notice 2 weeks after I started  (she didn't have a good word to say about accounts manager) plus the receptionist  who left in April after 16years working there after several run ins with account manager and wasn't replaces until recently or so I thought. Back in mid Oct (around the time I started struggling) I took a phone call from a recruitment company asking for Accounts manager, she was busy so I asked them to call back and they said 'could you just say we think (name) is perfect'. The name is the same one as the person who started and though a common one too much of a co-incidence I think. I now believe they got him to start with an overlap to see if he liked the job first and if it worked out always intended getting rid of me. I've plucked up the courage to read the letter I was given and it didn't say major errors' it said a couple of significant errors no examples given. If it was the accounts manager intention that I just sat there whilst she justified herself when I asked I'm glad I didn't  give her that satisfaction.  This all having come to me I put it all to DH last night who would normally say that I tend to look towards the worst of thoughts and he didn't. He thought what I was saying was more than possible, he had been criticising her management style for weeks at the same time I was telling him I wanted the wages and wasn't going to quit the job. He also said that it was poor when you intend doing that to someone to do it in December rather than November when you would  have more chance of finding  a temp xmas job because it would mess someone up more if they were reliant on the money.  I don't feel great  about myself knowing that yet again I have shown a vulnerability to believing in something (thinking back to  the Tex situation) only for me to discover I was wrong. DH view is I wasn't in an environment where I would even consider this.

Onto other things - loved seeing my friend. She paid for lunch and we had a couple of hot drinks at hers. I also picked up a couple of Xmas gifts I still needed, one was a CS find.  This is the friend I lent money to earlier this year and when she didn't pay it back I gifted it but after she did it again, I told her I wasn't in a position to continue. She explained she'd been ill and later when I got home offered to pay me back my monetary gift but would have to be next year when she was paid again (she's self employed). I've refused and told her to put the money towards her son's wedding instead.  After that I wrapped most of my remaining Xmas presents. Had to pop out and buy more Sellotape annoyingly since I can't find the roll I bought recently. Never mind was only 50p.

My wages have gone in today and I'm very mindful that this is the last f-time wage I'll have till I find another job. Have moved the money over for DD's Jan rent so now have 3/4. Talked to DH about the remaining £1K to find for next month. He says it is possible he will receive a bonus and we can use that - wasn't what I hoped to use it for -heyho. Also gone out is the money for DD to live on. That lives me a little left that hopefully I can mostly save. We realised the other day that we can use DH hotel loyalty points to purchase gift cards from selected retailers. We did this last year for a supermarket but I thought it was a Christmas-time offer rather than an all year round option. We are going to buy one and   use it for DD's first grocery shop when she returns to her digs in Jan. She has not been organised with her money and not meal planning and budgeting has been a big part of that. We also think we may buy gift cards and then use them to buy family xmas presents next year. The loyalty points are worth 'more' if you use them on a hotel stay which we've done in the past but we don't anticipate needing them so much in that way next year.   

Currently eating out of the freezer to save on this weeks grocery costs but also in order to run it down so we can stock back up for Christmas. Last night was chicken fajitas, tonight is sweet and sour pork. 

EssexHebridean

It sounds very much as though you are well out of that working environment, but that doesn't make up for the impact that being treated like that - even when you can see that it was "them, not you" has on your general resilience and MH. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and very much hope that the organisation get what is coming to them, and soon! 

satchmo1

It sounds like you have a case for unfair dismissal. 

Spendless

I don't have a leg to stand on because I had only been there since August and was on probation for 6 months. Did I make some mistakes - certainly I was new and learning.  Did I struggle to understand - no not at all. The only reason I wasn't able to complete everything in time was due to the sheer volume which was only being rectified by a 3rd pair of hands coming along. I couldn't complain because Accounts manager is also HR. I tried explaining I was overwhelmed with it all back in October and AM wouldn't have it. I backed down then in order to keep my job (or more accurately my wages)

Yesterday was quite spendy - Dog needed a groom. It was suggested on here a few months back to start a woof account  and intended starting this in 2024! Lesson learnt - don't put off something till tomorrow that you could start today. Then DH wanted to eat out - this turned out to be because he'd not eaten at lunchtime -which was entirely his own fault he WFH and should have sorted out beans on toast or similar in-between his conference calls! I do think he's trying to prove to me we aren't in a position where we have to scrimp every penny despite what's happened. Anyway I took the cheaper of his 2  eating suggestions and we went to a fish and chip restaurant. Though he was later to say his eyes had been bigger than his belly was - something I'd privately  thought when he ordered large fish and chips rather than medium.

Today though no plans to spend - except we need bread. It's possible I may attend a Carol service tonight in our old now Church which is mentioned in the Doomsday book. Church has been closed for decades with the exception of certain events. Mum says she's possibly interested but will depend on how Dad is as he attends a hospital appt later today about his cataracts. 

There are 2 jobs I can apply for both with organisations I've temped with before, so will send application in. 

Crazycatlady2

Sorry to hear you were treated so badly and I hope you find something better soon 

CRANKY40

Trying to be positive - at least you can enjoy Christmas now without worrying about having to go back to that hell hole afterwards. I had a job like that once. While the accountant was breaking the news to the accounts department one at a time that we would be working Saturday mornings for no extra pay, I went upstairs and resigned to the boss. Then I went to my meeting, let the accountant threaten me with dismissal if I didn't work on Saturdays, waited until he'd finished then said "OK and by the way, you should probably know that I've handed in my notice". I have the feeling that your job was of that ilk. Something else will come along. 

Spendless

Thank you crazycatlady & cranky.

My Mum has already said that both her and my Dad had already said to each other they thought I'd only stick it into the New Year. 2 things only kept me there DD's rent and the fact that it was a non-agency job. I actually enjoyed the tasks, I just couldn't get through the workload, who can - the work of what was 3 experienced  people being  carried out by 2 newcomers. 

I called at a friend's today, last saw her a few months ago told her what had happened she shared DH's view that it's nasty when you know full well this will be happening to end someone in Dec when the temp jobs have gone rather than either pulling it forward to Nov or back to Jan. She did approve of me just standing up saying ok and walking out when told;  her point being there was nothing more to be said that could change the situation anyway. Glad I didn't let her have her last little power trip over me.

Yesterday spends were purely for some bread and today though I've not added it up came to under £5, a couple of items for Christmas including cards that say Great Grandson/Grandaughter on them - I actually wanted relation name money wallets but couldn't find them. This is because when I received my inheritance from my Nan earlier this year I put aside £400 each for DS and DD. They have both recently had a chunk of money from it, DS bought a washing machine, DD went towards a trip. I now want to give them the balance that is left with an acknowledgement that it's from their Great Grandmother (hence the cards).at Christmas. 

Through the post today came my payslip. I knew straight away it was from my workplace but thought they were sending my P45 early because I'd stood up and walked off. DH pointed out that Account Manager had already put in writing that I was being paid a week's notice so couldn't do that. That quite possibly irked her more that I then walked away. If I'd have handed my notice in (and tbh it had gone through my mind) I'd have been required to work my notice. What I did notice on my payslip for the first time it seems to have my accumulative pay from my jobs since the beg of the tax year not just this one, so  I pput the details in https://www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/salary.php and *if* I have done it correctly I have a bigger chunk of overpaid tax to come back than I'd originally thought. That is because the money back from being underpaid fell into the 1st week of the new tax year rather than the last. At the time I wasn't best pleased, now I can see it was probably a blessing in disguise. Depending on the job situation next year I may need to put this towards DD's rent.