Nursing Home refusing to give mother's ring to me

fluffymuffy

My mother is in a nursing home. She has dementia and doesn't know who I am. Some months ago the home contacted me to ask if I could provide a cheap wedding ring so that hers could be put in the safe, along with her engagement ring. Her engagement ring has a huge diamond, and is worth some thousands of pounds. It's not really of sentimental value because it wasn't her original engagement ring, not the next (which was bigger), and there might have been another one before the current one - I'm not sure. Anyway, she kept swapping it for a bigger model.

I have Power of Attorney for both Finance and  Welfare, and yet the nursing home is refusing to let me have the rings back. I want to get the diamond ring valued, and potentially I might have to sell it to pay the care home fees. 

I'm not sure what to do about getting the ring back. The home says it must remain in their safe until my mother moves to another home or dies, in which case they will give it to the executor of her will - which would be me. 

Frankly the situation is quite bizarre. The nursing home is now denying that I have Power of Attorney - despite sending me invoices every month (which I pay) and contacting me (only this morning) for permission for mother to have the flu vaccine. In any case, they have certified copies of the PoA, as well as the digital scans I sent them. 

Should I contact a solicitor? Or the police? Or get a court order to get this ring released? Or simply find a new nursing home? 

Have they lost the ring? I'm guessing it's worth about £8000

elsien

Have you spoken to the manager? I would make a formal request in writing, stating that you do have LPA for both health/welfare and finances, and they are have a legal obligation to enable your request. If they have concerns about whether you are not acting on your mother’s best interests, then ask them why, and point out if they have serious reservations about your management of your mother’s affairs they should be raising a safeguarding or taking this up with the OPG. 

If they don’t, then they have no reason to withhold anything. 

Ask for the formal complaints procedure, and if the home is part of a chain, ask for contact details for the next level up. 

The police won’t want to know, and if you can resolve this before going legal that would be preferable. 
But do it all in writing so it’s not “he said. she said.” 

You could also (if you have to) tell them you will contact CQC due to your concerns about them not understanding your role as LPA and their obligations within that. That would normally do the trick. 

Do you have any other concerns about the care home? If not, then it would be difficult to evidence that moving her elsewhere would be in her best interests given than moving people can have a serious effect on them. 

fluffymuffy

I requested the ring in an email to the manager, and the manager replied that "there is no formal LPA in place" and that the ring will remain in their safe. 

This leads to wider concerns that they do not consider me a relevant force in my mother's care.

Should I send a formal letter in the post? By recorded delivery? 

elsien

Write back to them stating that there are indeed formal LPAs in place, referencing  the copies that they already have and asking on what grounds  they do not feel these are valid. Point out that they can check with the OPG directly if they do not believe that the copies are valid. 

https://www.gov.uk/find-someones-attorney-deputy-or-guardian

You could also enquire as to why they are asking for consent for medical treatment, and the payment of bills if they do not believe that you hold a valid LPA.

Email is ok, you just need a record of what is being said. And don’t get confrontational; keep it to a simple statement if facts. 

fluffymuffy

It's a really nice care home, and almost £7000 a month.

I'm currently paying them out of her savings, but need to sell her house soon. Her solicitor has no concerns about my PoA. 

elsien

For 7k a month, they really should know their !!!!!! from their elbow.  Hopefully it’s a misunderstanding on their part and easily resolved. But they really  do need to spell out what their issue with the LPA is. 

theoretica

I would -initially- treat this as a simple paperwork issue.  Oh dear, they haven't registered your PoA, you hadn't realised, clearly you need that little clerical matter sorted out ... and once that is done you will take, and give them a receipt for, the ring.

elsien

theoretica said:

I would -initially- treat this as a simple paperwork issue.  Oh dear, they haven't registered your PoA, you hadn't realised, clearly you need that little clerical matter sorted out ... and once that is done you will take, and give them a receipt for, the ring.

Why say it hasn’t been registered if it has been? That’s adding an uneccessary extra layer of complication and makes OP look incompetent. 

On a slightly more positive note, at least they’re trying to look out for your mother’s interests and stopping people they don’t believe have the legal authority nicking her jewellery. Even if they are getting themselves confused in the process. 

fluffymuffy

The home asked for, and was given, paper copies of the registered PoA when my mother was booked in there. And then they lost them and asked for more after a few weeks. So I gave them some more. Today I find that they think there's no "formal PoA" in place - which is nonsense. 

I can only think that perhaps they've lost the ring. 

elsien

"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence"

Benefit of the doubt until you’ve beaten them round the head with the LPA. 

theoretica

elsien said:

theoretica said:

I would -initially- treat this as a simple paperwork issue.  Oh dear, they haven't registered your PoA, you hadn't realised, clearly you need that little clerical matter sorted out ... and once that is done you will take, and give them a receipt for, the ring.

Why say it hasn’t been registered if it has been? That’s adding an uneccessary extra layer of complication and makes OP look incompetent. 

Not my meaning - make the home look incompetent because they haven't recorded the PoA properly when they should have.